Random and Odd

A Day In The Life Of Someone Else…

13 March, 2006 /

mas·och·ism (aka: Wedding Dress Shopping)
n.

  1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
  2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
  3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

No, there was no sexual gratification had from looking for wedding dresses.
BUT, there was much physical and emotional abuse, humiliation, mistreatment and unpleasant experiences.

Mom and Kathy came down to help me find the ‘The Perfect Dress’. We picked up ‘Cita along the way and … well…Shaun too. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME! Yes, I brought a man to a wedding dress store! I made him sit there! I made him watch as we paraded lame dress after lame dress! AND HE HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I didn’t even feel bad for a second because I HAD TO WEAR THE DAMN THINGS!

We had a system. Mom and ‘Cita scouted out dresses while Kathy fanangled a way to get them on me. I think Kathy had better luck dressing me when I was 5 years old then she did this weekened.
“Come on, Kris…if you try it on, I will buy you a lollipop when we leave here.”
“Kathy…I hate this dress, don’t make me.” I think I might have stomped my feet a few times.

Mom thought one of those type of dresses that hug my body all the way to my feet would look good. After Kathy convinced me that she would smother my mother in her sleep if I tried it on, she admited that it didn’t look as good as she thought it would. She mumbled something about me looking like a sausage link about to explode as she walked off to find another dress that would then make me look like a clown.
We tried on every dress within my limited price range and style preference. I looked like everything from a school teacher to a breakfast burrito. NOTHING fit right. I hated everything. The last dress was going to be the LAST dress because I was DONE.

And it was the last dress we went with. Yes, Random and Odd readers…I have a dress to get married in.

I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do that again though.