I did my first hike in the canyons BY. MYSELF! It was a bit freaky, but I did pretty good. No snakes, no bears and no mountain lions. Did run into an ultra runner prepping for the Way to Cool run. Badassmotherfucker he was. He was probably in his late 60’s.
Saturday I did a near 3 mile bike ride with Lester and his boy. Hello quad muscles.
Tonight I went to Lester’s hockey game where I got just a wee bit pissed off at a player on the ice and then proceeded to follow him to the locker rooms where I called him a douche. The only thing I had going for me is that he was on the other team and I was a girl. He didn’t look too thrilled and looking back, it was a bit stupid for me to do it. I could have started a full on fight between the two teams had the guy been able to pick his jaw up off the floor after I yelled down the hall at him, “YES YOU! YOU ARE A DOUCHE!”
Really? I probably looked like trash saying it, but I was so pissed! He had slammed Lester to the ground twice and checked him into the wall once and then spent 20 full seconds whacking away at this guy on the ground and then turned around and did it again. Ashley said it’s called, ‘high sticking’ or something like that. I called it, being a fucking douche.
I will never do that again, let myself get that worked up over something stupid.
Like we all know, It takes A LOT to get me pissed. It takes even more for me to say I am pissed and it takes the earth to tilt on its axis for me to get pissed off enough to say something. Poor guy, he has no idea what a douche he is and how much douchery it took for me to call him on it.
I’m usually the person yelling, “good block!” to the other team when they deflect our puck.
I even cheered when one of our guys grabbed a guy by the helmet and brought him to the ground.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo unlike me.
Pretty sweet weekend if you ask me.
I had to laugh when I watched this… SHIT BAREFOOT RUNNERS SAY . I am guilty of like…15 of these, if not more.
No, I haven’t read Born to Run…yet.
I have never been more grateful than the moment when I asked him, “okay…where next?” and he said, “back to the truck.”
My goal is to be able to be out for hours doing this…just not so many hills so soon.
Well, let’s add one more thing to things I have never done before.
Unless of course you consider BMX racing in the mountains (not the same to me)…a million years ago.
I uploaded the Olmstead to my Garmin for this weekends ride. (because this is the damn trail we got lost on and ended up hiking 25 and half miles)
And this is the part where he sees the full extent of the amount whining that can come from this woman.
It’s only a ten mile ride. I should be fine. …. right?
I can’t remember a better Valentine’s day than last nights.
Last year he made it clear what he thought of Valentine’s day and I made it clear that I heard him and understand and believe just like he does, but I needed it to be acknowledged.
Last night made up for all the shitty Valentine’s days I have had in my life. He managed to make it un-Hallmarky, we made It what we wanted it to be and I don’t think we even knew how much fun we would have.
I’m almost 100% certain I have never made out with someone like a teenager for that many hours. Between the talking, sharing, kissing and laughing, I can say I have never been more in love than I am today.
Thank you, Fucktard…I love you so much!
Well…this trail runner at least.
Here are some of the things heard while trail running in 2011 and 2012.
1. LIFE FLIGHT!
2. I’m making wrong choices.
3. Keep up, Catch up or Shut up.
4. I’m not good at crossing over streams on rocks, I just run through it.
5. Holy shit, that horse stunk!
6. Oh Gawd, I need to clean out my camelbak bladder, this tastes like shit!
7. IS SHE REALLY SKIPPING UP THAT DAMN HILL?
8. *singing Indiana Jones theme music*
9. *singing Rocky theme music*
10. Where’s the grassy knoll ?
11. Pee break, watch out for snakes, ticks and poison oak.
12. You think that guy saw my ass when I was peeing?
13. How many miles to the car and from that point how many miles to the beer?
14. Give me your Ipod! you know better than that!
15. What is it? DON’T EAT IT IF YOU DON’T KNOW!
16. can you get my chomps out of my camelbak?
17. I’m impressed with you ability to remove your clothing and put it away without stopping your pace.
18. really? a 20 minute mile? how big was that hill?
19. Bug spray anyone?
20. I can’t feel my toes anymore.
21. How many layers ARE you wearing??!!
22. Ouch! Fucking blackberry bushes!
23. No, it doesn’t look like it’s a trail, but it looks like it might get us where we need to go.
24. You brought toilet paper? Oh that’s cute. rookie.
25. Yes, I have the snake bite kit with me.
26. So which way now? We have been running lost for the last 4 miles, what’s another 21 miles?
27. Why do we never pack the map? someone should be in charge of the damn map!
28. The book said to look for the small tree that grows into the bigger tree and go left. no right. wait. shit.
29. Sour gummy lifesaver anyone?
30. OH THANK GOD, I know where we are now!!
31. That’s probably going to leave a bruise! get up and keep moving…it will help.
32. i hate this. i wanna go home.
33. HOLY CRAP, look at that rain!! I didn’t realize it was raining so hard!
34. hmmm…this trail looks familiar.
35. Did he REALLY just run that far ahead of me? I hope I get attacked by a mountain lion. That will teach him. oh wait.
36. hold on, my gps is still searching for satellites.
37. brought down by a damn sticker !!
38. It’s so quiet. Well, it would be if you would stop talking.
39. run to the top of the hill?
40. Did you hear that movement in the trees?
I’m ready for another year of this with the old friends, new ones and my boyfriend.
For all of you that has read Random and Odd and held my hand while I battled through my Anxiety disorder, you’ll understand this. Those of you that just got on the Random and Odd train, you’ll have to just play along.
The first thing I hear on the news is Whitney Houston had xanax in her hotel room.
OH SHOCKING, like I didn’t see that coming. The bigger question today is what celebrity doesn’t have a bottle of xanax?
It pisses me off how easy it is for people to get it. Just say they have anxiety and poof they get a prescription.
I went through classes, books and countless therapy sessions to just be able to understand why I had it and not that I ever beat anxiety, but I can at least manage it now.
How many of the people that have a bottle of xanax have had to go through all that I have to be able to take it? They are not tit tac candy, people!
Do I understand why people would want to be on xanax? Yes, I do. Having a rough time of it today? take a xanax and it will ‘take the edge off’.
TAKE THE EDGE OFF. No, it’s not a ‘take the edge off’ pill. This pill was designed for people with an anxiety disorder. People who have the flight or fight switch broken. It’s a chemical imbalance.
It is not a pill to give to people who can’t fucking cope with the stress of a rough day.
It’s been several years that I have openly admitted to having an anxiety disorder and when my world flipped over and I got a whole new set of friends I had to decide which route I was going to take. Do I admit to what I have and risk being laughed at or do I shut up and deal with it alone?
I decided to take the middle road. It’s simply because the battle of coping with anxiety is over. I’ve learned what I need to do to be able to get through the small and medium sized anxiety attacks. Telling Lester about the big ones scared the shit out of me because I wasn’t sure how he would handle the information. He seemed to take it okay and I told him that they are rare when they hit, but when they do, I would tell him and coached him on what he can do to help me.
That is really all I can do.
I take xanax. Not everyday anymore.
I’ve found that when I feel them starting to coming on, I take a half a pill and I do this for a couple of days to get the xanax in my system and I’m okay for a week or two. It’s like pain management, don’t let the pain get so bad that you take a bunch to get rid of it.
Xanax is a serious drug that should only be prescribed after having to go through all that I had to go through to get it. I took a six week class. I took months of therapy talking about it. I read 2 books on the disorder an how to manage it. Was this enough? I’m still alive.
Have I fucked up and taken it with other stuff? Yes. I have. I was reading the list of pills in Heath Ledger’s system and how they speculate due to the autopsy when he took the list of pills. Nothing he took wasn’t anything I didn’t have in my medicine cabinet and battling insomnia I know that train he climbed on… take a prescription pill, didn’t work so take a over the counter. didn’t work yet, take another over the counter…nothing…okay time to call in the big boy. nothing yet. one more over the counter. It’s INSANE what I would do just to get some sleep. NEVER did I think I was going to overdose and I could have. It would have been a tragic mistake of taking one more over the counter or just one more prescription.
Moral of the story…xanax isn’t shit that you need to be joking about. It’s not a fix all drug. It’s not a sleeping pill.
Yes, it helps you sleep. It’s not designed for that.
Yes, it will take the edge off a stressful day. It was not designed for that though.
Yes, it will help you through a panic attack…but truly the ACTUAL amount of people that have an anxiety attack don’t need to take xanax. They can get through it without it, I did for YEARS and I had them up to 4 times a day…full blown freak out, should be hospitalized, scare people kind of anxiety attacks.
It wasn’t designed to be given out like candy for the people who have had one or ‘short of breath’ scared feeling sometimes.
Oh fuck it, what hell do I know?
I feel horrible for the Houston family, just like I felt bad for the Ledgers and the Smith families.
Today I am heading out to run with the ex’s. This is the first hike since Tabitha blew out her calf. We will be taking it slow as we have the Little Man with us and we know he can do up to 5 miles, but after that he gets pissy.
I plan on running in memory of Sherry Arnold today. (Read story here)
I found a new artist that I am addicted to. Her voice is so haunting. She’s a British artist so no chance in hell of seeing her play live any day soon, but love her regardless. He name is Laura Marling. She just reaches in and grips me.
Last month is the one year point of Lester and getting back together after a 4 month hiatus. Valentine’s day is around the corner and to say he hates that day is a canyon size understatement. After last year’s mess where I was almost certain I would never talk to his ass ever again, I have decided that this year I will ready myself for the onslaught of how much this day sucks and the Tasmanian Devil approach to expressing how much he hates this day. I have even almost decided to just expect to not hear from him.
…and if i don’t he won’t hear from me. just sayin.
Yeah, 2012 is sounding pretty boring so far, time to kick up the heat a bit!
In my forever attempt to try new things, I have been looking up things to do online.
Rock climbing, ballroom dancing, Zumba, first aid classes, kayak lessons….
I’m a bitch too…here is a text between Lester and I.
Me: looking up beginner bike trails.
Me: Hey, they have the AARP drivers safety program.
Hee hee. Either he was really excited that I thought of him and they have a program he’s nearly eligible for….or he’s telling me to shut the fuck up.
Last night I sat outside for awhile trying to get through level 17 of this stupid game on my phone. When I came in my feet were so cold they physically ached.
It was a good thing that Lester was there. For those of you that remember our sleeping habits, you’ll be happy to know he didn’t kill me last night.
The fan was on and his blanket was pulled all the way up to his ears. Ohhhh, yes, he will be nice and warm. I crawled into bed and as soon as my feet hit my sheets, I knew I was fucked. I was TOO cold to cuddle. If I get within 5 inches of his molten hot skin, he will detect the temperature change and go into body blocking defensive mode. No, I was too cold. I would need to warm up before I dare try. Rub feet on sheets to generate heat.
Lester has this thing with my feet moving.
He hates it.
My first two husbands didn’t really care much. The first was just happy to have an 18 year old girl willing to be in the same bed, I could have had 5 legs moving and he would have smiled like a loon. My second ex had the same feet moving problem I do. From the ankles up we looked totally normal, but our feet were moving like we were two ducks swimming up stream.
Lester is about to go all Misery on me every time I start moving my feet.
When I got into bed my foot started rubbing on the sheet and he actually stopped snoring, sat up on his elbow and said, “I just rolled over on my arm, but it didn’t feel like my arm.” and then went back to sleep.
I’m almost 99% certain it had nothing to do with me moving my feet, but he has this weird ability to detect when my feet are moving so I am going to say it was my feeties fault that he was sleep talking.
I decided that if I could move just one toe, I would be alright. He detected the toe movement with his foot and grabbed hold of my foot with both of his feet. This was the point where he felt how cold I was. I keep forgetting that his body temp runs about 1000 degrees higher than everyone else and something cold is a good vacation to cuddle up to. He pulled me, groaning and sighing as he got comfortable. Oh. My. God he was so warm, but he wouldn’t let my feet touch his legs because they were too cold.
I moved my foot just a little bit closer to his legs and I could feel the heat radiating off of him and I almost wept because I was THAT cold and it would feel so good to just…..so I did. I took both feet and shoved them on his legs. He didn’t even move. Within minutes my feet were warm and he was done cuddling, he pushed me away and flopped onto his stomach resuming his snoring.
“You’re welcome feetsies for picking the best boyfriend for you. I know he hates it when you have to move around so much, but he keeps us all warm.”