Victoria and I headed out to Coloma to show her the 10k course we will be running on Saturday.  Last Saturday we did the Dirty Secret Trail run in Cool and I wore my Vibrams.  I was fine the next day and on Monday we hit the trails again. I decided that instead of pushing my luck and wearing my Vibrams that I would try out a pair of minimalist street shoes. Normally I would wear my Brooks Cascadias, but I thought they might be a bit to heavy for me. I was still a little bit sore.

I knew 2 miles in that I had made a huge mistake. The toe box is bigger on these shoes and my feet were not use to it. I couldn’t find my balance at all. I am also use to trail shoes and the grip they provide. These shoes were street shoes and had zero grip.

At 3 miles I was already hurting.  They held up on the up hill and oh boy are there a lot of uphill. Going down was a whole new beast.  Normally I don’t have any problems, but I found that I was heel striking for a good mile.  I couldn’t stop it either.  If I tried to forefront strike I would want to squeal in pain.  The Vibrams have taught me the proper way of running and these shoes were begging me to do the exact opposite and at mile 5 I just gave up and ran like an idiot.

The end of this beautiful trail has a great stream. My feet were sore and hot and I just ran right into them middle and stayed there until they were cool.  These shoes did not release any water at all. I made it back to the car still squishing around in them.

When I got home I pulled them off and my feet were screaming at me.  I ended the night with having to ice my feet.   I have ran barefoot for over a year and many times I have taken off my Vibrams and ran without anything on my feet.  I have never had this issue before.  Now the back of my thighs are sore too.  This is not good for Saturday.

Just two more runs and then I get a weekend off before I have another round of races.

Stupid rookie move with the shoes. Damn it.

As I was going through my Flickr page to put together a Facebook montage of Shea pictures for her 15th birthday, I found all these pictures.   This one is the one that made me take a virtual step back. Shea wasn’t even 2 in this picture and this was my second apartment after my separation from their dad.  This was when things were better and I was getting the hang of being a single parent.
It still baffles me that I was able to do it.  I’m not talking about financially, but emotionally.
My girls now are what they were back then, just taller and with car keys.  Kara was always the child that did things her own way, was head strong and stubborn.  She was such a struggle to get to fit into the box I thought she needed to be in.  Alyx was a great kid, but she required a lot of talking. She would ask a million questions and you HAD to answer her.  If she questioned your answer you would have to give her an example, show her that you were right and not until she felt comfortable with it would you be let off the hook.  Alyx was the defender of right and fair.   Then there was Shea.  She was all of Kara and Alyx rolled into one and given this streak of defiance a mile wide.

This picture was taken during one of our dance parties we would have in the living room after a bath.  Kara wouldn’t go to bed with her hair wet so I would have to style it for her.  Shea would sit on the counter and brush her hair into a strange looking mullet.  Alyx would just watch and talk over the hairdryer.   After we were done, we would open the screen door, turn on music from the computer and we would dance around the living room.  Kara’s favorite was “Barbie Girl” and we always had to listen to the songs that Kara wanted to hear or sing.  We listened to a lot of Disney music too.

It was a two bedroom apartment. The master was this enormous room with mirrored closets.  I gave the girls the master bedroom and I took the smaller one.  They would dance in front of it and I could hear them in there giggling about something.   At night I would crawl into my twin size bed and in the morning I would have all three girls piled in the small room on the small bed with me.  I gave up trying to be ‘normal’ and I got rid of the girls bed and got a queen and I would have them all sleep with me in the master bedroom. The small bedroom turned into where they kept their clothes and toys.  Mom’s room was for laughing, telling stories and feeling safe.   We slept there for a year.

They were a handful, all those girls and their moods.  I don’t know how I did it and they turned out so damn wonderful.
I felt like every thing I was doing, I was doing it wrong. The things I felt like I was doing right were not the right things at all.
I was lucky that I had their father in their lives, but that also made my roll harder and more of emotional drain that I would wish on anyone.  It would have been different if we could agree on anything, but we didn’t.    The girls lives were totally different at each house. I was the one that made sure they didn’t get hit by cars, drown and be little spoiled shit heads. He was a little bit more laid back (that’s being nice) and gave them whatever they wanted.  This isn’t a story that hasn’t been told by every single mother/father throughout time.  I would want him to back me up on discipline and he would do the opposite after telling me that he had my back.  This mom was the bad guy. I guess I still am.

There are very little regrets when it comes to how I raised the girls.  They have learned a lot from their time with me.  1. Things don’t always work out as we planned them to, so just roll with the changes and find the fun in the new adventure.  2. Love with all you have, be loved like you deserve to be loved. 3. Be your dorky self, dance in the kitchen, sing loudly in the car, wear mismatched socks and tickle the ones you love until they laugh so hard they cry.  Never be afraid of looking stupid, because it’s in those moments that you find out how much fun life really is.

What I wish I had done differently; I wish I would have known how strong I really was so when someone came into my life that wanted to help me and made it so damn easy that I would have been able to say, “No thanks! I got this!”.    Through that experience I learned a lot too about being a step parent.  He did allow me to love and raise his kids just like I raised my own and because of that I think their life was better. They had 3 sisters who taught them that it was okay to be different.  For those years I was a real step parent and I learned how to give unconditional love.
Things are different now. I don’t talk to anyone from that side and sometimes it feels like it was a waste, all those years.

Shea is 15 now. It’s been 14 years that I have been a ‘single parent’.   I wouldn’t change a thing about how I raised the girls up to this point.

We finished the 2nd of 6 trail races we have signed up for.
I started this race knowing it was going to be a slow one because Victoria was coming off her injury and I wasn’t going to leave her behind. No way, no how.  Unfortunately it turned into me sucking ass more than I have ever sucked ass in a race before.  I was great until mile 3 and then all the sudden it felt like I was having an asthma attack, but the thing is…I don’t have asthma. My shoulders started aching and my whole body started to shake.  My head was foggy and my arm started tingling.
“Victoria, what arm goes tingly when you are having a heart attack?”  She gave me the answer and I knew I was going to be alright.  The breathing all the sudden got impossible and I had to pull out some allergy medicine I had stashed in my hydration vest.  Then I started getting pissed. I was past my time from last year and I couldn’t find the joy in the day anymore. I just wanted to be finished, at the car, drinking my mimosa.
I ran it in even though I was hurting beyond words.
This was such a different race than last year.  I was coming off a calf injury (that likes to flare up at mile 3) and I was just happy that I wasn’t in a huge amount of pain. It was just Lester and I.
This year part of our running team came out to run it with us.  It made it so much fun to have everyone there in our shirts and cheering each other on.
As I neared the finish line the first person I heard was Debra yelling my name, then of course, Bitsy’s loud voice chimed in.  Then I could actually hear each one as they cheered.  I turned around at the finish and waited the 30 seconds for Victoria to come through.  We did it.

Just like last year my favorite part of the race was the big hug I got from Lester at the end of the race.  I sucked, I came in 13 minutes later than my last time and he still hugged me and was proud of me like I had run a full marathon and won the first place medal.  He has no idea how much his support means to me.
As Deb was leaving she said something to me as I was peeling off my shoes and calling myself names in my head,   “Thanks again, Kristine for getting us all out here and together to do another run.”
Fuck, I nearly cried.  It was the reminder of why I keep doing this.
These people are my friends. For the FIRST TIME in my life I have friends that aren’t out to get something from me, don’t treat me like I am a poor idiot or just keep me around so I can babysit for them or so they can compare how their life is so much better than mine because they have a fancy car, big house and husband that spoils them.
I wanted a running team for a long time and I finally have it.  It’s like the universe waited until I could have the best people beside me (okay, IN FRONT OF ME) before it would happen.

Again, I will not take it for granted.

Next weekend we do it all over again out at the Coloma River Run!

This last Friday the girls and I crammed all our stuff into the back of Alyx’s car and headed to Pismo Beach for a friend’s wedding I agreed to shoot.
The first part of the 6 hour trip I drove, the second part Alyx took over.  I’ve gotten pretty good at not freaking out the minute she climbs into the driver’s side.  She’s gotten pretty good at not getting to pissed at me when I do freak out.

We bought the Kasey Musgraves CD before we left and we played it the whole way there and most of the way back.  By the end of the trip we had all picked out our favorite songs and could sing them quite masterfully.

The wedding went off without a hitch. The 80′s reception was so awesome!  Jessica and Jason went over the top on their costumes, all the way to the fanny pack and acid washed jeans.  I had so much fun with their families because they were all pretty laid back like I am.

The best part of the trip was the last minute decision to change our route home.  We drove down I-5 on the way there, but we took Hwy 101 on the way back.  I wanted the girls to see some of the missions that I saw when I was a kid and my parents took me.  Honestly, I can’t remember why I enjoyed it so much, but I am sure it had to do with my mother’s enthusiasm for adventure and my father’s passion for taking pictures. Those two things made for a colorful childhood.
I told the girls how beautiful San Luis Obispo mission was and that I wanted them to see it.  Alyx had already gone a few years before with my beautiful friend, Lisa and her family, but Shea had not seen it and I hadn’t been there for a million years.
As we got to the mission Alyx’s memory card on her camera failed causing her to loose 900 pictures. She was distraught and I understood that feeling of losing something so precious as your memories to a stupid card error.  I wasn’t enjoying myself because in addition to that hiccup, we had parking for 30 minutes and it was a 5 minute walk to and from and that only left us 20 minutes or less.  We hit the gift shop and took a few pictures, swearing that we would come back when we could spend more time there and just kick it around the city.
Back in the car with my Chai latte and the girls with their smoothies we hit the road.  Alyx was going to drive the whole way back and I was navigating.
“Look Mom!” She pointed to a sign on 101 for another mission up the road.  I put the destination in the GPS and saw that it was right off the freeway.  We decided to stop.  Okay, Alyx and I decided to stop. Shea decided that she was going to bitch the whole time about getting home in time to get her homework done.
As we pulled off the freeway we were greeted with this awesomeness:

You can’t see the look on the girls faces, but Alyx is SOOOOOOOOO excited and Shea is SOOOOOOOO not happy.
We went in the gift shop and museum and it got a little bit better for Mz. Grumpy McGrumperson. She participated in our dorky humor and fun, but after about 15 minutes it was time to hit the road again.   Shea fell asleep soon after taking this picture.
Alyx and I were singing loudly in the car and pointing out things to each other when we saw a sign for another mission.  I pulled up the information and it was 45 minutes off the freeway and we wouldn’t be able to hit that one.   On my postcard it had all 21 missions listed and I decided to put the next one on the list into the GPS.  ”Mission Soledad is only 15 minutes off the freeway. You think we can make it before they close?”
As we pulled up to Soledad mission we knew we had missed operation hours, but we got out anyway to walk around the place.
Shea was passed out in the backseat, so we let her sleep.  Alyx and I were like two kids just excited to be out of the car and able to go scouting for something cool to take a picture of.

Yes, we do realize we will probably go to hell for this, but we couldn’t resist.   I will spend more time in the deep pits because it was my idea to do it.  We ran back to the car and looked at the map for the next mission.
“MY FAVORITE IS COMING UP!!”  San Juan Batista was always my favorite mission as a kid. Yes, I am that nerdy that I had a favorite mission. “Hurry Alyx, before it gets dark.”
This one took forever to get to, but it was so worth it for all the reasons I am listing below.

1. Shea was SO pissed that we made her wake up and get out of the car for a mission.

That’s it.

When we pulled up we had sang all the songs on a mixed CD that my friend Connie made me 5 years ago and it had the coolest music on it.  We were in the bestest of all the moods because we made it before it got dark.
“Wake up, Bay!” We tried everything to get Shea to wake up, but nothing was working. I ended up just opening the car door and letting her head fall out. “Come on! we are here! our fourth mission of the day!”  We thought letting her sleep through the 3rd mission was awfully gracious of us, but she didn’t see it that way.
“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!? WE AREN’T EVEN RELIGIOUS PEOPLE!!!”
I tried to explain it wasn’t about being religious, but the huge fucking cross I was making them pose in front of for a picture wasn’t helping my argument.

As you can see, this is the pose of a child who was planning to kill her mother and older sister. The other is a smile of the older sister trying to make the best of a family road trip that will go down in history as one of the most fun times we have had together crammed in a car for 8 hours.

This was hands down the best road trip of my life.  Alyx and I had so much fun getting excited about the next destination and when Shea wasn’t sleeping or complaining about being at a mission she was singing and making us laugh so hard.  We decided that we are borrowing Grandpa’s trailer and we are going to do some more road trips this summer.

I know how lucky I am to be blessed with an amazing bunch of kids. I do not take that for granted.

I’m horrible at calling people back. I’m worse at emailing.  I promised Cowman that I would email him those pictures from Western States 100 last year and I totally forgot. No, I didn’t forget, I just…I don’t know. I didn’t do it.

As soon as I got home from WS100 last year, I signed up to volunteer for the next. Lonnie emailed me back and he’s excited that Lester and I will be helping out again this year.  I’ve been getting the emails and that has been making me feel tremendous amounts of guilt for not emailing Cowman back.
Last night I emailed his friend to get his email address and gave me the email, home address and then told me to call him.   This morning I called him and we talked for well over an hour.
I love his stories, his spirit and his peaceful demeanor.  The neat thing is that he was just as curious about my stories as I was about his.   Here is a man that has seen SO much and met so many amazing people in his life and he’s asking me about mine.
He asked about the girls and I told him about how my daughter, Kara is in VA studying to become an ASL translator.  He asked me why I thought she was going for that profession and I said, “She was misunderstood as a little girl.  I think that has created a compassion inside of her that bursts through when she can communicate with  others that can’t be understood.”
I had never really thought about why ASL had been such a passion for my daughter, but as soon as he asked me, I knew.
He told me stories about his friends and the positive things that have come through struggles.
We talked about Boston and Caballo. We spoke of books and inspirations.

It was an amazing way to start my morning.

I have a wedding this weekend and a race every weekend until mid June. I also agreed to go to a Meet and Greet for Sacramento Photographers. I’m actually pretty excited about that.  I needed to get excited about my passion and these people are good and they like what I create.
I’ve slacked on my classes the last couple of weeks. I should be in the 2 hour class and I am still in the 1 hour class.  *pulling out hair*  I shouldn’t have signed up for both classes side by side. ONE AT A TIME.

On a wonderful side note, I had a WONDERFUL day yesterday with my friend Debra.  She texted me early in the morning and asked if I wanted to have a spa day with her.
YES! I DO!!
I just love this woman. She’s not drama in any way, shape or form.  Her life is full of struggles and she has never once burdened me with any of it. She has opened up to me and I feel so blessed that she picked me to spend the day with.  The facial and massage were amazing, but the conversation at lunch was the best part.
It pisses me off that I spent so much time wasted on people that were toxic. Spewing out hatred, jealousy and envy at every turn.  I know better now.   There are people in this world that are true, beautiful creatures of God and they don’t have to spout it at every turn. They don’t speak one way and live a life the other. They don’t hurt people that do not deserve to be hurt.
My faith in people that have faith, like Debra…is coming back. I see people that can have religion in their life and actually be good, decent people.

Kara is home for the summer! Disneyland and cuddle time!  Maybe this time I will get a decent picture of all of us.

Maybe.

The stupid wind has been messing with my photo shoots. This last Friday everything finally lined up perfectly and I ended up doing two photo shoots. I was shocked I didn’t come home burnt to a crisp, but I didn’t escape the bug bites from the two different locations I primarily shot in.
Monie has never had anyone do her pictures. I didn’t know this when I told her, “This week, you and me are going out and getting some pictures of you.”  When we got out there she admitted she didn’t get anything done in high school because she was an ‘awkward teen’.   She had so much fun and is such a beauty!
The other photo shoot is a surprise until the end of the month so I can’t talk about it or post any pictures.

On Sunday I managed to hit the trails.  I love this picture because if you look real close you can see the opening up of the American River Canyon in the far off distance. I know where I am running to.  It’s getting easier to navigate those trails, but i’m still not ready to go by myself yet.  Rattlesnakes freak me out.
Dan signed me up for the Coloma River Run for my birthday present from the girls. It was the bestest gift!   Lester, Ben and Victoria will be there with me as well. This is a Team Getty Run for me. I have signed up for 3 of Getty’s runs!  Poor Kate said she’s not ready for this trail run, but she’s an amazing rock star and I can’t wait to see her and her team out there too!
I am finally going to be able to use the head lamp the girls got me for Christmas when I do the twilight run!  This year is full of really good runs with some amazing people!

The Hockey Wives have been juicing a lot and I want to give it a try, but I have no clue if I could actually do it. GAG!   I have switched my eating habits drastically.  Yesterday after the trail run I was hungry, but the draw of a soda and hamburger from In and Out was squashed when I remembered that I have stopped eating fast food. “No. I need a place that serves a salad.”    It’s been well over 7 days (but 7 since I started counting) since I have eaten fast food.  Now for quitting smoking and drinking soda.  Today is day 1 of no soda and it fucking sucks a bag of dicks, but I am hell bent on changing things that will make the goals that I have set for my future much easier to achieve.

I have this enormous, once fluffy pink robe.
This is a robe that Lester hates with all the passion that a man can hate a big pink robe. It’s an absurd amount of hate for an item of clothing, but every time I wear it he grimaces and makes grumbling sounds under his breath.

I love this robe.  It has stories and has been on adventures! Yes, it’s thinning in places, has lost all of the adorable fluffy goodness it once held and has holes in various places.

Many years ago I was described as having more robes than anyone not named Hefner.  This was once true. I have dwindled down to four robes now, but the pink robe is my favorite and probably will be because of how it came into my life.

Four years ago when Lester moved into his apartment, we would hang out together on the balcony and talk for hours. It was starting to get cold so I would transport my robe from my house to his apartment when we would have dinner together or we were going to watch a Monty Python movie.  He picked out the pink robe for me to keep there so I wouldn’t have to keep carting mine back and forth.  When we broke up, I pulled open the bag of stuff that I kept at his house and there was my robe.   Thanks to some amazing mental blocking  I can’t describe the Oprah like crying that followed.  I do know that I tossed that damn thing in the back of my closet and vowed to burn it at the next Dropzone bonfire.  In the back of closet it stayed until I went through my monthly closet cleaning and there it was and instead of being a big ol’ sissy-la-la that cried over stupid things, I put it on and wore it like a straight jacket of sadness for the next month like it was a uniform.
It made it to a few bonfires and dropzone sleep overs unscathed.

Clearly, Lester and I got back together and when I moved in he began doing this strange squinty eye thing whenever I would put the robe on. It took him a good long while before he finally expressed his disdain for the robe.
“God that thing is UGLY!”

SHOCKED.

“What!?” I pulled the robe close around me. “But you bought this for me!”
“It’s falling apart.” He gave the robe another disapproving once over and now it was out there, the hatred of the robe.  Now that he said it, he was free to mock the robe every time I wore it.  The more he glared, the more I wore it.  I’m not exactly sure what my plan was. Perhaps if he saw how much I loved it, he would cut it some slack.  It’s not like I was asking him to take it out for a beer, or even worse…wear it himself.
He knew he wasn’t going to win the battle of the big pink robe so he took another avenue.  He bought me another one for Christmas.
My main argument for loving the big, pink robe is because he had gone out and bought it for me. It had sentimental value.  The new robe is awesome. It’s soft pink with plaid black print. It’s a great robe, but I was kinda sad when I opened it because that meant that I would have to give up the big, pink robe.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the new robe. How could one not love a brand new, soft, pink robe?

The big pink robe is my reminder of those long nights on the balcony talking about just about every thing we could think of. It’s the blanket that I wrapped around my legs when I would fall asleep on his couch watching a movie.

Wendi came over the other night and I told her how much he hated the robe and she flipped her shit.
“NO! you can’t get rid of this robe! This pink robe has so many memories!”  I promised her that if I could ever part with the robe that she would find it in her mailbox in Arizona.

I’m sure if Lester reads this he will have it bubble wrapped, packaged and ready to go.

I read this thing on Will Ferrell’s Facebook where he said,  ”What if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your facebook name and password. What would you find out about yourself by your posts?”

Just in the past month:
1. I’m a runner and I encourage people run with me. I’m kinda persistent about it too!
2. I’m support this foundation with a cute little owl.
3. There is an adorable baby that smiles a lot that I like to take pictures of.
4. My friends are so weird.
5. My friends are so awesome.
6. I did something really nice for someone.
7. I’m fun to hang out with.
8. I support gay rights.
9. I’m a bad skater.
10. My work is a freaking zoo.
11. I’m a hiker too!
12. Oh! I’m a photographer!
13.  LOL. I’m really funny.
14. I’m the coolest person someone knows.
15. My boyfriend is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
16. My kids are fucking adorable.
17. I cuss a lot.
18. I drink a lot of coffee.
19. I just had a birthday and I turned 41 and was proud of that.
20. I have pretty flowers in my yard that I love.

Alright. Not too shabby.

I love this man so very much!

Yes, it’s been forever and a day since I have written anything.
The following months are going to be super busy for me, so I figured I would set some time aside to write tonight.
Runs with Rusty Scissors: To date in just this year alone as a team have contributed $1285.00 for various charities through running.  We have ran in 6 races as a team.  It’s only April! We have 8 runs planned for the remaining months. This doesn’t include the months that we have no races planned. It’s only getting crazier.
We have added 8 new members in the last few months as well!  Brad, Bitsy and Birdie are what we like to call our ‘ringers’ as they have placed in the last 4 runs we have done!

In the personal side of life we had a beautiful dinner to say good bye to Auburn Alehouse Hockey. It was great to see all the guys together again, but sad hearing that they are going to be on other teams. Luckily for me, I will still get to see them as I will scorekeeping their games.  Of course, without the AAH jersey with numbers, I might forget who they are.  I had 2 guys come up to me the other day and give me a hug saying they will miss me. I have NO idea who they were.  Come to find out they were a couple of our players. As soon as they change out of their jersey, I am clueless.
Lester and I had a great time and managed to get our 4th picture of us together!

The girls are doing so amazing.  Kara is taking the classes she loves in Virginia and getting to visit friends.  Alyx is driving everywhere that we will allow her to. Shea is trying out for dance.
At the end of the month, Alyx was asked to attend a conference for Photo Journalism because of the work s he has done in high school and even said many of her pictures will be featured in the year book. Following in Kara’s footsteps that one is!
Kara got her D300 and is struggling to learn all the tricks of it. It’s not the easiest camera to navigate unless you know what you’re doing.

Victoria is recovering from a running injury and it sucks balls.  I was going to take her on the run of all runs today, but we ended up just having lunch and finding just the right treats for Peanut the pain in the ass running buddy dog.  She will be able to run again in early May so my mission is to get Dan back on the right track as he signed us both up for The Coloma Run as a birthday gift for the girls.  He did the Run Rocklin 12k and it nearly killed him.  I worry about him more than an ex-wife should, but he is my girl’s favorite guy and I don’t want to see him  hooked up to tubes in the hospital.

Lester and I are doing good. We have only tried to kill each other like 14 times this month. I KEED, I KEED!  I drive him crazy, but it’s okay because he drives me just as mad.
I love him so much it’s ridiculous.
He called me his ‘wife’ on Facebook and 2 of the 3 children had a heart attack!  I think they think we secretly tied the knot when we went to Hawaii.  Maybe. Who knows? :)

On to April….

She’s all grown up now. Well, mostly.

 
Today was the first day I finally started the class I have been putting off until I was certain I wanted to take it.  The first week is pretty light on the hours, but as the weeks continue the time invested gets more intense.
Photography classes.  I am getting around to learning all those little details that admittedly, FREAK ME OUT.
My decision to finally take the classes came from a picture I took on my birthday and I love it, but I don’t know how to just fix a certain part of it that was shaded.  Looking into it I found about 20 different ways to do it, but there is only one right way to do it without damaging the quality of the shot. I have zero knowledge on what the fuck the teacher of the class was saying because I use Photoshop or Lightroom 2% of the time.  You would think that not using the programs is a good thing. No. It’s helpful because so much time isn’t spent in editing, but I had to get that shot in a time span of 4 minutes and I was on their time schedule of visiting and catching a flight.  What I was left with was craptastic lighting and I couldn’t set up anything or do any light metering before.
Pick up the camera and go.  I would like to say I am that kind of photographer, but after doing weddings and having one shot at it, planning ahead and being at the site weeks and days before the wedding at the exact time was my number one golden rule.

CLICK CLICK CLICK.

Snapshots is more of a way of describing the way I took the shots and even though there wasn’t time for anyone to get uncomfortable with the amount of time we were taking and moving to different locations…there wasn’t enough time to get them comfortable with taking pictures together either. The candid laughing shots were the ones I liked the best…and that is where my picture is…right there in the candid shot and I NEED that shot because it’s the only one I like!
(as I am writing this I just thought of a quick solution!)
I can’t always do that.
I took the class and it took me twice as long just getting through the first lesson.

I’m determined though.