I decided since i’ve had the laptop for almost a week and it hasn’t crashed, that I should start re-adding all my stuff and catching up on Blogs.
There has been a few emails in my inbox requesting that we bring back Stuff Portrait Friday. I’m not ready to commit to it, but it’s not out of the question. Give me time.
I will try to participate in some of the day-themes out there though. I can’t promise that I will be able to do it all the time, but when I can I will promote the hell out of your blog.
This week I decided to do Fond of Snape’s ‘Fill In Friday‘.
1. I’m looking forward to Having Coffee with Rob next week.
2. I don’t handle teenaged girls bickering and getting snotty with each other very well.
3. French Fries is something I could eat every day.
4. Warmth and sunlight dictates how my mood is going to be.
5. Destination Weddings here I come!
6. I will probably never have a tattoo(s).
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to taking pictures of the girls breaking boards in Karate, tomorrow my plans include HOPEFULLY going to the Preston Castle and Sunday, I want to get a professional massage, but that won’t happen!
I am working on a few different posts. One is about Absent Fathers. If you have any insite on that subject, please email me. Another is a post about Hope’opotomus (story to come later)
Have a fantabulous weekend.
My tooth exploded. Okay, it just FEELS like my tooth exploded. I was trying to get something dislodged from that little cavity in my tooth that I have been ignoring and pretending wasn’t as bad as it was. When I did that whole sucking and pushing air around, ZAP…the nerve went from ‘snoozing’ to HELLO, I AM RAW AND THROBBING!
I guess it’s time to call the dentist.
I found our wedding disc today. I lovely went through all 600 plus pictures. This one was one of my favorites that I didn’t post with the original set. He was laughing at me for some reason or another. Ahh, back when he use to think I was funny.
Yeah, back when I was funny.
I went through my blogroll. I deleted a bunch of people that I had no idea who they were. As I was going through my Sage feed, I realized…who are these people?
So tell me..who are you? How old are you? When is your birthday? kids? dogs? cats? Ex’s? what do you have to say to me?
It’s Thursday right?
On American Idol there is this guy. You know which guy I am talking about? You know what I am thinking right?
OMG. TOO MUCH. Tone down the ‘oh hell no giiiiiirllll, *snap* you di’ent! Girrrrl.’
I’m allergic to Kiwis? Yeah. I found out about 10 years ago after buying the sweet, furry things on a whim. A huge bag from Costco, because why not buy something you’ve never eaten IN BULK?
I got it home and cut one open, not really sure how to eat it. It was so tasty and it made the back of my throat tingle. It then made the tip of my tongue catch fire. After 15 minutes my whole mouth felt like it was infested with fleas. I looked like a moron scratching the roof of my mouth with a fork, but dear Lord was it worth it.
Recently I bought a few, forgetting the lovely reaction I had to them. I cut one open and the second it hit my mouth, I remembered. It didn’t stop me though. I ate a few slices. Seems like age had made me not so allergic to them.
Tonight I pulled out the two I had sitting in the fridge. I ate a whole one. SO GOOD, I had to go back and eat the other one.
Now I am reminded of WHY I shouldn’t eat Kiwi’s. Not only do I have all the symptoms I had before, I feel physically ill.
Thank God, the taste of fish grosses me out to no end, because I am allergic to that too.
I’m thinking it’s going to be another 10 years before I eat another Kiwi.
If you don’t hear from me in a few days it’s because they have no wireless access at the hospital.
I had written a post going into detail about the stupid drama going on in the Random and Odd household. I decided to delete it and go with this;
Don’t you hate stupid people? Don’t you hate it when people make judgments by only hearing one side of the story? Don’t you hate it when you’re forced to pick a side?
Recently I was pulled into an argument that had NOTHING to do with me. The only reason I got drug into it was because my 14 year old daughter was being called names by an adult who only listened to one side of the story.
I am now left with the words that were said to me. This person hurt my feelings by saying things that weren’t true. Now I ask myself, “If I know they aren’t true…then why is it bothering me?” Because I hate it when people think I am a way that I am not. It’s not wrong for people to want to see you for who you are. MANY years were spend with me pretending to be a certain way so I would fit into the mold. When I didn’t fit in, I lost my mind and hurt a lot of people in the process of ‘finding myself’.
It’s been a few days and I have calmed down enough to try to see things from a different point of view. What I am lead to believe is, this person…has lost her mind as well. She was being forced into a mold that she doesn’t fit into and doesn’t want to be in. The only way to ‘be heard’ is to scream and shout and act a fool. It’s just sad that SO many other people are being hurt because of it. What is going to hurt later on is when it’s over and done.
Many times I have said, “I’m an Aries, I am too lazy to hold a grudge.” Sure, that may be the case. I won’t carry around hurt and resentment. I will look at it for what it was and then throw it away. Without a shadow of doubt, the day will come when this person comes to me and says, “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”
Now, what I am left with is, what will be my response? I know I will want to say, “You said you didn’t like me and I should go to hell.” Point out how I was misjudged and labeled. Or will I do what I always do and say, “Aww, it’s alright.”
God knows I don’t want to. I was HURT. Does my feelings not matter to ANYONE? Is it alright for someone to attack someone and then later on want to be a part of your life? I’m tired of excuses.
I’m tired of people being resentful of people when something good happens to them. I am tired of people acting like children and only liking you when you are willing to live by their ‘rules’.
Who I decide to forgive is up to me.
You words will come back to haunt you. Use them wisely.
And with that said; BRING ON MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! this month just sucked the big donkey.
You know how when your kids are little, even as young as ‘still in the womb’ you decide what they could be when they get older? “Oh, this little one is going to be a kicker!”
Well, we all have decided that Jeremiah is going to break Barry Bond’s record. I will be interviewed by ESPN and I will be able to say, “Yes, I remember at 9 months old, my husband put him on his lap and they watched baseball and Shaun taught him over the years on what the plays were called and all aspects of baseball. We knew when he was less than 2 years old that he was going to be a baseball player. He had this cute T-ball T and he wanted you to pitch to him instead. 9 out of the 10 pitches he connected with.”
He’s going to have the biggest group of people during his T-ball games. Shaun will sign up to coach. The girls will be his cheerleaders. AND of course, he will have a gaggle of people taking his picture.
Somebody be my friend for the next 20 years so I can say, “TOLD YOU SO!!” and then we can hop on the private jet plane and spend the weekend in Vegas playing off is draft money!! ;)
We are not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
In the past few days, I have been touched by the Electronic Gods. My laptop had been returned to HP three times to have the motherboard replaced. The Gods of HP decided that it was going to get junked and replaced. I got to pick the replacement, WITHIN reason. I had to have the same stats as my old laptop. Yeah, well…I sweet talked my way into a laptop that all but toasts my bread. *singing* Shhhhheee’s a beauuuty!
No, it’s not a Mac, but what-ev’.
And yeah. The tax returnith comith. Shaun’s sporting a new Nikon D300. I say, “Shaun” because he’s been pouting that I have been getting all these fancy new things and he is still on the desktop that is held together with dog hair and Cherry Coke.
D300 isn’t a point and click like the D70. No no no, my friends. This camera doesn’t have any of those fun ‘presets’. No auto on this thing.
My brain fried after 3 minutes of using it.
Guess what I get to do? READ THE DAMN MANUAL.
This camera is going to challenge the hell out of me. Something I try to avoid, but Alrighty.
So, name selection for TWO objects. My brand new WHITE laptop (yes, they say once you go black, you can’t go back…I BEG TO DIFFER.) and the Nikon D300.
What are the suggestions?
Dan was one of the first people to put a professional camera in my hands and showed me how it worked. That was 17 years ago.
I never let a camera out of arms reach until the day he handed me a video camera.
It’s been about as long as he handed me his camera that he finally picked one up again.
Through hoops of fire, he was able to get a Nikon D40. It was not a spur of the moment buy. He had actually did a lot of research and asked me about 4,000 questions before he finally gave in and bought one.
Like a kid in a crack store, he’s been going crazy with his new toy. He bought a Flickr pro account so he can flood our photostreams with pictures of his cats.
In the search to find him the perfect camera that will fit all of his needs, I kept sneaking a few peeks at my sick obsession; Nikon D300.
Owning my own photography business, I can justify buying it. The fact that I have had my D70 for as long as I have (well over the estimated shutter release give out :29,000 and 56,000) and got so much more than the recreational use I thought I was going to get out of it.
I could TOTALLY justify buying it. I mean, I am going to need a bigger camera and the D70 will make a fine back up camera. THERE IS JUSTIFICATION DAMN IT.
Tonight I actually went in and was going to buy it, but because I am a moron, I didn’t get it.
Figuring it was God’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t buy it, I got the girls together and asked them if they had a hundred dollars, what would they spend it on. I figured it was going to be the perfect example of what normal people do when given unexpected money.
“If I gave you a hundred dollars, Alyx…what would you buy?”
“I would put it in my account and save it for college.” Shea chimes in with a ‘me too’
*blink* *blink* Whoa. Were are the children that at Target will plead with me for a toy until their throats bleed?
“ALYX. Shut up. You don’t have ‘an account'”
“Well, I should huh?” She looks up at me from my check book register that she is balancing.
“Yeah. whatever. So say you decided to spend it and not ‘save’ it. What would you buy?”
Looking up from the pile of receipts she says, “A vacation.”
“WHAT?” I swear to GOD, who STOLE MY CHILDREN AND REPLACED THEM WITH THESE FREAKS!?
“I’m thinking Hawaii. It will take some saving though.” She taps my check book register with her pen and recalculates the last entry. “So, have you made any deposits into this account?”
AND and I will making a withdrawal tomorrow! little accountant freak.
It’s been nearly a month that I have been off my anti-anxiety medication. The first couple of weeks were hard. The third week was total bliss. This fourth week is trial and error.
In the first couple of weeks, I didn’t tell anyone that I had ran out of pills and was choosing not to refill them. It took some time for my body to realize that I wasn’t on any medication and when it did, I got bombarded with ‘zaps’ of anxiety. A ‘zap’ isn’t a medical term, it’s a Kristine-term. Imagine if you will sitting on the couch minding your own business and someone comes up behind you and scares the living shit out of you. That is a ‘zap’. I got about 40 of those in an hour. 24 hours a day.
After the ‘zaps’ started to balance out to 15 an hour and then to 5 an hour, I began getting this strange “I’m on LCD” feeling.
For the first time in nearly 2 years, I wanted to get out of the house and go places. The bummer was driving while ‘not medicated’. Certain that I would die if someone decided to merge into my lane, I chose to wait out the ‘zaps’. The ‘fuzzy feeling’ of week 3 was worse than the ‘zaps’. I swear, if I could bottle the shit that was floating around in my head, I could sell it for thousands. People would pay good money to enjoy the euphoric feeling my brain was sending me.
During the last week, I even stopped taking medication to sleep. Whoa. Never again will I take medication to sleep. It’s better to just stay awake for 5 days straight then try to fall asleep without medication after being on it for years.
So, here I am. Clean of all medication and souped up on vitamins.
How am I doing?
On an hourly basis, I am reminded of WHY I was on medication. What is going on with the ‘firing in my brain’ is clearly off. I understand this. This isn’t my fault. I think that was the first thing I needed to except. With that knowledge, I am able to see it for what it is, ‘a faulty brain’.
Learning to fall asleep, be tired and let go was hard, but I was certain it was going to be worse. It was absolutely the hardest part though.
Now to the part that I am blessed/cursed with. I LOVE getting out the house again. Oh my GOD, I had forgotten what it was like to be able to just walk out of the house and go. I thought for sure, being on the medication, It would give me the ‘power’ to get out. It did in the beginning, but as the months turned into years, I found that the comfort of ‘under the covers’ was so much better.
There hasn’t been a day in a month that I settled for being in the house all day. I must get out and feel the sun.
Now for the cursed part. On medication; “Whatever.” without medication; “NO!”
I will not put up with the bullshit that I had put up with during my medicated years. When I am pissed off, you’ll know about it. When I feel like I am being used, I will cut you out of my life faster than you’ll have a chance to say you’re sorry.
My way or the highway. I am in charge of this life and if you’re lucky enough to be a part of it, you respect me. If you’re not, you’re not going to hear about it, you’re going to just find yourself scratching your head saying, “Whoa…what happened. I had used her as a doormat before and she didn’t mind.”
My Aries fire is back.
I’m happy though. Even with the ‘zaps’ and the ‘no bullshit’ outlook. I think I can manage it.
I can do this. Welcome 2008.
Hey everyone, Shaun here. I’m blognapping Random & Odd to post Kristine’s Valentine’s Day post. To those of you who don’t know Kristine very well, once you talk to her or spend any time with her, she’ll be in your heart forever. She can be brutally honest without being hurtful, can be supportive and encouraging even if she disagrees with you. She can make you laugh when you’re ready to pull your hair out. She’s the ‘realest’ person I’ve ever known. The way she writes and speaks is really how she is, and everyone lucky enough to call her a friend would agree. If you’re new here, stick around and definitely comment when she writes something that makes you laugh or want to strangle her. If you’ve been here awhile, thanks for sticking around through the good times and the tough ones! Ok, I’m rambling, so back to the point… here are 29 random things (it’s a leap year, hence 29), good or bad, that I thought you might enjoy learning about my favorite blogger:
- She does the worst accents ever. It’s like ‘It’s a Small World’ caught on fire and all the countries melted together
- Will mispronounce a word, recognize it halfway through the word, then painfully try to correct herself. It’s like watching a fly try to escape a web.
- Has the worst, guilt-ridden smile when trying to hide something. You don’t want her lying to congress for you.
- She can read a book in one sitting, in one night.
- Has a special outfit just for the Dog Park
- Labels every UCB/connector wire/plug and knows what each goes to
- Will break into song in almost any situation. Not real songs, either. Fake, improvised songs to fit whatever’s going on (laundry, me sleeping, etc)
- Will remove pickles from my burger before giving it to me
- Can recognize, almost instantly, whether she’s already seen a TV show…..we’re talking milliseconds in to the show. Its impressive.
- Can sleep through anything
- Will wake up, thoroughly detail an entire dream to me, then fall back asleep immediately. And she won’t remember any of it.
- Gets genuinely excited when people call or e-mail her unexpectedly
- Will NEVER call you back when she’s supposed to
- Loves calenders, purses, and blank books that she can write in
- Has more robes than anyone not named Hefner
- Shows a genuine interest in every one of the kids, and knows all about each of their lives
- She spent most of the Super Bowl smoking cigars with a bunch of Mexican guys, a former NBA player, a pin-up girl, and my co-workers.
- Loves her family to death. Her mom and sister are EVERYTHING to her!
- Can talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Effortlessly.
- She hates lawn gnomes
- Want to drive her crazy? Say ‘anyways’
- Blood vessels in her eyes burst when someone calls the store “Barnes & Noble’s” since there’s no S at the end of it
- Will go into a rage within the first five notes of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart) (Pissy and RSG can confirm this one)
- At any given time, she has three to five pairs of shoes between our front door and her side of the bed.
- Is likely to have one CD that contains Violent Femmes, Al Green, Kid Rock, Alanis Morrisette, and Dixie Chicks. Not necessarily in that order.
- Has the evilest laugh if she witnesses you stubbing a toe, banging a knee, or tripping over something.
- Has accepted the inevitable victory of Del Taco over Taco Bell in our home. I credit the Shredded Beef Burrito and Shredded Beef Macho Nachos.
- She JUST had her first chili-cheese flavored Fritos. Looked at me and said “Hey, these do taste like chili-cheese. Wow.’
- 38 containers in our shower. 36 if you subtract my shaving cream and shampoo.