SPF

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday

Look up at my masthead, right below it is a link to the Stuff Portrait Friday page. See it? Cool.

March 3, 2006 – Randomness Galore!

  • your favorite jeans
  • birthmark, mole or freckles
  • your photo albums & where you store them

note to Pissy: Every once in a great while I will put two posts up in one day…just for you…because you’re a stalker freak of nature that would rip off my arm and steal my handbag if I carried something other than a cheap Tim Allen toolbag.

note to Everyone else: Yes, I carry a rather large Tim Allen toolbag. It’s the only thing big enough for my camera, lenses and my wallet. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!

Bad Moon Rising

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Wedding

Some people like the rain. I’m not one of them. It depresses me. Yesterday it sort of snuck up on me so I wasn’t too bothered by it. Today I woke up to it all dark and ugly outside. It made me achy.
I worked out on Sunday and over did the leg machine and I still hurt.
I know, I know…drink water, stretch, alter days, blah blah blah. I hate working out. I do. I hate getting dressed to go to the gym. I hate driving to the gym. I hate the smell of a gym. I hate the beeping of the machines at the gym. I hate the ‘rush’ you get. I hate the way my body wants to kick my ass for doing something that hurts me in the long run.
So yes, I hate the gym. I’m not going to stop going though and I will tell you the story of why I will continue to go to the gym even though I loathe it.

Last weekend I drug everyone to the bridal show at the mall so we could pick up some books and ideas. I might have also went because there could have been a chance of some sort of chocolate fountain or cake testing.

We headed home after we looked at all the booths and poked fun at the cheezy DJ’s. Shaun saw a bridal mart on the way home and since we were all in the mood, we pulled over and went in.
If you’re in the market for a 1983 wedding dress, we found the place. The dresses were only a hundred bucks and if I looked hard enough I might be able to find something I liked. ONE. I found ONE dress.

‘Cita and I grabbed the dress and headed into the dressing room.

“I don’t know, Kris. This sort has a snag on the front. We would have to get it dry cleaned…” She tried to fix the snag with her finger while I wrestled with the strapless bra they provided.

“For a hundred bucks, I will get it dry cleaned. I’m only going to wear the thing for 4 hours and then it goes in a bag in my closet.”

With some help I got the dress over my head and pulled down to right about my waist.

I pulled down on the hem, but for some strange reason, it wouldn’t go any further than the waist.

Instead of asking what the problem is, ‘Cita grabbed the hem and helped me pull it down, but encountered the same problem as I did. “What the hell?”
She requested that I turn around so she could pull the dress down in the back and since I am SO good at following orders I turned around.

The look of horror on her face made me ask what the problem was.

“Turn around and look.” I did.

My ass. My square ass was blocking the damn dress from coming down. The dress fell like a curtain around my window shaped bare ass. Do you get the picture I am drawing for you? I looked like I was mooning someone from my house window.
I burst into laughter because after the horror of it all sunk in, the humor of it was just too much. “Get it off.” I laughed and now it looked like ‘Cita was trying to save me from a aligator that had swallowed me. “PULL!” and she was…but she was laughing to hard and she couldn’t get a good grip.

After trying to tug the dress off for 30 seconds I said, “Stop. ‘Cita. Stop.” We were giggling so hard that neither one of us was getting to far. “We are going to have to pull it together long enough to get this dress off of me.” we didn’t stop laughing the whole time, but we got the dress off.

As we were walking out the other brides trying on dresses looked at us like we had smoked a bowl in the dressing room. They couldn’t look TOO snooty for God’s sake, they were trying on dresses that I wore during my first wedding 13 years ago!

Whenever we need a good laugh now we will always remember the time in the dressing room when my ass decided that I would not be wearing a 1983 gown at my 2006 wedding.

Pick One..

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats

I have more than 5 readers so I should have NO PROBLEM pawning these brats off.

Warning:

  1. They are SO loud.
  2. You must request that they do stuff 5 times before they do it.
  3. They come with dogs that pee in the middle of the hallway.
  4. They ask for stuff at every single store.
  5. They are SO loud.
  6. Each one of them eat thier weight in food.
  7. Video games will take up your whole paycheck.
  8. They wear your clothes and ruin them.
  9. They borrow your shoes, trip in them and break their ankles.
  10. You have to pay for the broken ankles.
  11. They are SO loud.
  12. Boyfriends calling.
  13. Girlfriends calling.
  14. You will totally need internet to keep them amused.
  15. In order to be heard, you must yell.
  16. They don’t do chores.
  17. They are SO loud.
  18. You won’t ever be able to find anything you own because they take it.
  19. SO loud.
  20. I know I mentioned it somewhere….THEY ARE SO LOUD!

Okay, soooooo…which one are you taking?

R & O Reminder

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

Today is Renee’s Birthday. Sneak over there and wish her a happy birfday.

oh and since Monday’s suck, if you want to play wishlist…today would be a good day.

Comment Section Wish List…

Body: Okay, here’s the deal. The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (“I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!

Example: Renee—I wish I had a birthday present.

KimmyK—Granted, but the birthday present is a IRS audit. I wish I had a new car.
Dashababy—Granted, but it’s a Geo Metro that only goes 15 miles per hour…I wish..

Bringing the term “Soccer Mom” to a whole new level

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: friends, My Brats, Random

Because we lead the most exciting life EVER, we spend our weekends going to Chelsea’s soccer games.

For those of you that are new to Random and Odd; Chelsea is the daughter of our Beautiful Friend, Lisa. She’s 15 and one of my favoritest people to photograph. She’s a good girl and she’s been playing soccer forever.

Tonight the team they were going to play didn’t show up, but they had the field for 40 minutes regardless. Some of our kids went out and played with the team and somehow all the parents got out there.

I have a new found respect for Chelsea, who goes out there and runs back and forth, kicking the ball and making it look easy.
Because I was on the parent’s team I got to play against Chelsea. We both went for the ball at the same time and she kicked me right in the foot. HARD. She’s always been such a sweet girl, but I need to rethink her disposition now.

Since I wore flip flops to the game, I had to borrow Chelsea’s shoes. I looked so rad in my penguin Vans.

If you look at the picture real closely you’ll see me doing this high kick thing.

Take a good look, my leg will NEVER go that high again.

misunderstandings…

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: friends

I bit the bullet yesterday and joined a gym that only charges me $5.00 a month to try to break their equipment. If I didn’t start using it the day I got the membership, It would sit there unused for 2 years, so I had to go buy some workout clothes.

After an hour with ‘Cita in Target trying on work out pants we decided that there is no ‘like’ in Lycra. EVERY DAMN DIMPLE IN MY ASS – EXPOSED!

Today we went again. The promise of a coffee afterward is the only thing that kept me from throwing my cheap 2 dollar radio at the Buns of Steel woman in front of me on the stair climber.
On the way back from the coffee place we dropped into a nail shop to check the prices. I grabbed a sheet and on the way home ‘Cita read the descriptions of everything.

“Pedicures that come with EVERYTHING are only 35 bucks. Not bad.” The brochure was a copied sheet of paper with many misspellings and fragmented words. welcome walkins. we do nails and foot nice. you satisfaction is sure.

“Lip waxing.” ‘Cita announced from the backseat.

Then in one of those moments where I am certain that my mother really did give birth to me, I asked…”Do you think they mean…like Brazilain wax…like your pussy lips?”

The van was silent for a second before the sound of Shaun and ‘Cita laughing almost made my ears bleed.

“What?” I was laughing too, but not really certain just why yet. They were laughing so hard they were crying, so it must have been something totally funny.

“Kristine…LIPS.” ‘Cita says. In my mind…I see…down there type of lips. I turn around and ‘Cita is touching her lips on her face. “LIPS!” she’s still cracking up and I am still just clueless.

“Why would you wax your lips?” The laughter gets louder and Shaun almost pulls the van over.

“YOUR UPPER LIP!” and she motions to the hair above your lips.
Now why wouldn’t they just put ‘UPPER LIP’ and not confuse the people? I would have DIED of embarrassment if I had gone in there, tossed my $5.00 on the counter and dropped my britches asking for a ‘lip wax’.

SPF: Feb 23, 2006

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: stuff portrait friday

SPF

the inside of your nightstand drawer

This was my grandomother’s magazine cabinet. I’m going to fill it up with important documents, but that would first require me to remove my ass from this computer chair.

a good book you’ve read

Good. It wasn’t GREAT. If anyone likes Jude like I do will read it though…and if you want it, send me your address and I’ll send it to you.

your favorite lamp


    This is the lamp you would see if you walked through the front door and looked up.
    It replaces the tacky gold & glass one that comes stock in the house.

    Wow…this is the first SPF at the new place. Hope everyone isn’t too thrown off.
    I added a link at the top that will take you to the SPF for the week.
    PLEASE remind your readers that ANYONE can play. Give them the directions:

    1. Find out what we are taking pictures of by clicking the Stuff Portrait Friday link at the top of this blog or wherever you put it on your blog.
    2. Take the pictures.
    3. Post them Thursday night or Friday morning.
    4. Leave a comment here so everyone can go check out your stuff.
    5. Go check out the people who comment on your blog and leave them a comment!that’s it! simple huh? DID YOU PLAY???

American Idol…

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

You all love it when I post while medicated. I’m sorry, but i’m only a little bit medicated right now, but I did watch American Idol tonight and I finally found someone that LOOKS and ACTS like me when i’m medicated.

Taylor Hicks. I love him. Is it wrong to love him so much?
I’m afraid to go to Cat’s Blog and see what she has to say about my favorite. I will though. I will have to spend the next couple of months battling Cat about American Idol. I know her, I know she’s probably fawning over Ace. He’s cute, but he’s a Contantine throwback. I like the Vin Deisel looking guy. Meow.
This is my favorite time of the year.

The Ruse

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

While on MySpace I get a lot of weird ‘friend requests’. I use to have in my profile, “If I don’t know you, don’t even ask. I’m not here to ‘hook up’ or ‘hang out’. I’m here to keep an eye on my five kids. Yes, FIVE kids. Turned off now?”
A couple weeks ago I got a friend request from a ‘band’. I get those all the time. A band comes to town and they add all the locals of that area to their friends list so they can see that they have an upcoming gig.

I went to the profile and checked out their pictures. I then emailed the band back and told them that normally I don’t add people I don’t know, but that if he wanted I would come down to the bar on Saturday and get some better shots of them. They took me up on the offer and off I went into the brand new land of ‘band photographer’.

There was no way I was going to go on Saturday, to a bar, by myself. What had happened to me? I use to be fearless. Before I met Shaun, I spent more time at the Almond Tree then I did at my own house (on the days that the kids were at dads) It’s not that I was a huge drinker, but that I liked the company. I liked meeting the old people and talking about WW1 and what it’s was like to have to churn your own milk. Maybe that was my problem. Old people bars is what I was comfortable with.

Shaun went with me and after 5 minutes I think he was ready to leave. The band hadn’t even made it up on stage and he looked annoyed. I thanked him over and over for going with me. I even drug out my friend Ruka, but she had to leave early because her boobs were going to explode in the middle of the bar and shower the patrons with baby food.

What he's saying is...

I got the right lighting. I got the shots. I stepped out for a smoke because my eardrums were going to burst if I didn’t walk outside for a minute.
Just like me, I forgot my smokes at home and I had to bum one off an adorable guy outside. He introduced himself as John and that he was the next band going on. I asked him how different his music was from what was on stage now.
“Night and Day. This is more raw Metallica stuff. We are more…U2.” He smiled his perfectly perfect smile with his perfectly perfect teeth.
The rest of the band came out and they all smiled with their perfectly perfect teeth too.

“You’re not from around here are you?” I felt like such a hick.
“No, were from LA and before that New York. How did you know?”
“Teeth. You have nice teeth.”
I asked for permission to take some pictures of them and I would email them when I got home and they agreed. See, I do ask permission..SOMETIMES.

I called ‘Cita and my beautiful friend, Lisa and told them to come down to watch the second band. There was no way that Shaun was going to make it through another set of music. It could be Matchbox 20 up there and he would have left. He is a man and he was hungry. That was the end of the story.

The second band began to sing and I was amazed at the sound that was coming from this guy. He was awesome. Not like, ‘rad’ type ‘awesome’, but the ‘I was in awe’ ‘awesome’.
The whole band had this easy feeling about them. they weren’t trying overly hard to play or sing. They were laughing and smiling. They were so cool, but didn’t act like it.

Whenever I get people to go places with me I feel guitly the whole time. I always feel like if they aren’t having a good time then I shouldn’t be having a good time. During the first part of the performance, I kept looking over and checking on ‘Cita and Lisa to make sure they weren’t about ready to bolt out the door, but they actually looked like they were enjoying themselves.

After it was over the whole bar exploded into applause. “Don’t stop!!” “KEEP SINGING” was yelled from the back.
These guys were really good. They had a great sound and we felt honored to be able to be listening to them sing. It was one of those moments where you think, “Someday, when they make it big…I’m going to say I saw them in this little bar.”

The whole band treated us so nicely. They treated everyone nicely come to think of it. Respect, they were so respectful of everyone. You don’t see a lot of that anymore.

Oh, did I mention the part about how damn adorable each of them is? I didn’t? Dear Lord, I’m slipping.
HOT. They were all NUMMY GOOD LOOKING. Young, but MM-MM-Good!
They hung out and chatted for a long time and thanked us for coming out. Normally I would have hung out longer, but the damn bar didn’t carry hard liquor. They only had beer, and it was flat. I don’t care how damn hot those guys were, if the Captain wasn’t hanging out with us, I had to go home and get in my PJ’s and call it a night.

On the way out we giggled like high schoolers on how cute they were.
“Which one?” ‘Cita asked.
“I think they were all cute.” My beautiful friend, Lisa is much like Charotte from Sex in the City. She doesn’t like to let anyone feel left out and is the most fair person you’d ever know.
“Kristine, how about you?” She asked when she finally got the answer out of Lisa.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I loved taking picture of the bass player because he had the most beautiful smile. I liked the drummer’s hands. The singer had great expressions…”

“PICK!”

I’m trying to be more like my beautiful friend Lisa, I picked all of them.

Upcoming Shows (
Feb 23 2006 8:00P
Velvet Lounge Washington DC, DC
Feb 25 2006 11:15P
Mercury Lounge NYC, NY
Mar 11 2006 9:30P
Atomic Cantina Albuquerque, NM
Mar 18 2006 10:30P
The Spill Austin, TX

If your’e in any of these areas, you need to go see them. When you get back, tell me which one you picked okay??

rusemusic.com

smile…

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

windows

Random Stuff before the post:
**The picture from the last post was taken in Old Sacramento from upstairs and the girls looking up. Shaun then added windows because when you look at the picture, it looked like it needed some. He’s weird.

**SPF: CLICK HERE I am still trying to figure out where to put all my stuff. Stuff Portrait Friday use to have a cool place on my side bar at the old place. I guess it might need it’s own room: SPF.

**Links at the bottom right hand of this blog? GO GET FIREFOX! it fixes the problem INSTANTLY.
and Ladybug–Dooce is always right about everything, so you just go get Firefox or I am going to email Dooce and tell her you went against her wishes and she will have her army of followers leaving ‘get firefox’ comments all over your blog ;) We all know you don’t want that ;)

Kate: Butterfly Girl has been helping me with “Spotlighting Bloggers” and she is awesome, thank you so much!!

and Remind me this week to write a whole long post about ‘Hope’ the doll that was made for me.

Welcome Monday Tuesday!This was my ‘leap of faith’ weekend as I moved over here. Again- Phil…I heart you. You are my hero. Lawbrat..thank you for letting me use him like a dirty whore!!

Kathy sent me an email this weekend and i’m not allowed to tell anyone what it says or she will kick my ass. It was private sister stuff.
I thought, “what could she write me in an email that she couldn’t put in a post?”

Because I write everything down and put it out there, I tend to forget that some people don’t do that. They aren’t as willing to share as much as I do. When I started blogging, it was more raw and from my gut. Then I got readers that knew me and could poison me while I slept so I toned it down. I also didn’t want people seeing me in any other light than the one I turned on. After awhile I felt it was okay to share my anxiety attacks, that I bit my fingers, that I had ghetto denim furniture and that my baseboards were non-exsistant.
I also let you in my home and let RSG wash my cupboards and Pissy burn down my backyard. If I could live through this, then I could share anything right?

Wrong. I hide lots of stuff. The number one thing I try to hide is my teeth.
I use to have the top dentist in Sacramento, then I moved and I had to find another dentist. He was great, friendly and did a darn good job. Then Dan and I split up and I lost the dental insurance.
After that, my dentist were back alley clinics that may or may not have been dental board certified.
I had a cavity in the back of my front tooth that the back alley dentist fixed in 10 minutes, made me pay cash and then pushed me out the door. He may have insulted me verbally, but since I had no idea what language he was speaking I can’t say it for sure.
I also had a crown put on my front side tooth that didn’t match the other teeth, it was way-hayyyy to white to even come close to matching. I lived with it thought because I didn’t have the money to fix it.

For the last 5 years I have only half smiled or if I did smile, I photoshopped it. My teeth were not something we were even allowed to discuss.

So yes, there are things I don’t talk about. UNTIL TODAY. I went to the dentist today and fixed it. I fixed my teeth. My teeth…FIXED.
You should have seen him working on my chompers. He sounded like he was fixing a Ford truck.

“BOND, get me some bond! CURE THIS! Ohhhhh, niiiiiiiiceeee, let me just build up the back a bit…bond it….cure…niceeeeeee.

My upper lip is SO numb right now and it looks like Melanie Griffith after her injections. My teeth though…Watch out Hillary Duff!

I’m so excited to actually smile for the camera! I mean, not right this second, because I look like a moron. I’m also happy I can talk about it. I still can’t tell you what my sister and I talked about though…secret sister stuff.