Every dream I have been having is about hiking. The dream I just awoke from was about this beautiful canyon. I was setting up our tent (which was HUGE and not the 1 man tent I have) and I tell Dan and Tabitha that I need the poles to spike. Dan brings me over my trekking poles and they are chewed off at the end. I asked what happened and he told me ‘big ants ate them.’ That means something, i’m just not sure what.
I’m signed up for my snow shoe class. As predicted, I got tired of waiting and signed up and I have a hockey friend of mine going with me. What’s strange is that she is on my photo a day group and we run around in all the same circles, but we have never actually met in person. Now we are signed up for a day long snowshoeing class and she’s joining me! We are both into photography, hiking and getting outside more so this should be fun. I signed up for a couple of trail runs too and I put them out there and people said they want to join me, but come race day I am sure I will be toeing up to the start line alone.
Today is my counseling session. There a couple things I want to talk to him about. Recently someone I pushed out my life a million years ago has come back. This has happened a few times in the past year and instead of holding on to that anger, I decided to let it go and listen to what they had to say. I have been blessed with being able to forgive them for what they did. This is one of those opposite things though. Even though this person isn’t asking for forgiveness from me. They just want to hang out and catch up.
This person isn’t a ‘hang out and catch up’ kind of person in my life. This is someone I have kept at arms length for 20 plus years. I need to ask my therapist if I need to stop keeping this person in a box. It’s so complicated he might tell me to run. I think I would be sad if I did that though. Weird.
My friend Amanda said, This sounds like it went from 2016 to 20KRISTINE. I just wish the holidays were over and my new year was started already.
I think I will meditate the new year in with thoughts of letting go of the past. Last night I heard a line, “every step forward begins with a foot firmly planted in the past.”
I was on a hike awhile back and I had one of those moments where things seem to make sense and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to recognize when I KNEW I was doing something that wouldn’t benefit my future Self and stop focusing on the current Self. There is something so powerful about the past and holding on to things you know aren’t good for you. It’s a mistake I’m not ready to make…again. Or am i?