I keep sitting down to write something and I end up finding something else that needs to be done.
Like this morning I sat down with my coffee with intentions of writing something I have had on my mind and I remembered this stupid dream I had about my daughter and I needed to tell her about it. Then I ended up editing some photos.
I thought, “I’ll write tonight when I get home from work.” Then remembered that I need to wash some clothes and pack stuff up for my trip with Aaron. Then I remembered that I have surprises that I need to work on before I can even pack!
Writing use to be the biggest part of who I was. So many things I have set aside while I am in the process of saving my life. People think that because I haven’t jumped from a building or ate a bottle of pills that I am okay and my life is 100% great.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s SO much better than it was before, but it’s not because I removed myself from a bad situation and VIOLA! it’s all better. The process of dealing with the shit that happened and the mental shit I put myself through is something that I silently work through. I know it is too soon to be in a relationship while I am trying to deal with all that happened. I keep it to myself now; the fears, the anger, the insecurities. I’m working through it all though. It’s not something you just shrug your shoulders and say, “oh that sucked.” and move on. I guess it’s easier for the guy.
The new place is fucking awesome.
I have it decorated just the way I want. Everything is where *I* want it to be.
Shit, i’m out of time. I have to go into work now…the best place I have ever worked because my boss is a bad ass at what he does and he’s great, honest, wonderful and I am the luckiest person alive to be able to help facilitate the success of his day.
I’ll write more about the awesomeness of the man I work for. Right now, I have to go set up a few surprises for the man I love for our vacation in a few days!! :)