“Kristine, where is a Tennis Ball.”
Now take a moment and think back to all the posts about our Tennis Playing family. Any come to mind? Yeah, BECAUSE WE DON’T PLAY TENNIS. We are a family of geeks, and these geeks don’t play sports.
Marina started Cross Country. I believe now she knew that Phone Bill was coming and needed to build up endurance to be able to out run my car when I chased her down to run her over.
When Tyler asks me random questions like this, without thought I begin listing places that you would be able to find a tennis ball in our house.
One day Shea is going to come up to me and ask me where she can find plutonium and i’m going to say, “Check the junk drawer.”
“Wait.” My mind actually kicks in and I have 75 different senarios of what he could do with a tennis ball that involves video games and the computer. “Why do you want a tennis ball?”
And then he shocks me, “The dog wants to play.”
Poor Halo. It’s been a year since we got her and In this year Tyler has had a girlfriend, broke up with a girlfriend, is head over heels for someone who wants nothing to do with him, got a new Guitar Hero set up, got an ACTUAL guitar and went on a 10 day vacation. She’s BORED to death.
When ever I buy a used car I always wonder ‘why did the person sell this?’ and I start to obsess of the reasons. There is only 40 thousand miles on it, that’s not even enough time to wear out the first set of brakes. I wonder if the person didn’t like the sound of the blinker. Maybe it was in a horrible accident and it got repaired, but the transmission is going to fall out if I hit a bump.
The dog was a ‘used’ dog. I wonder if the people who owned her before knew about all the cool little quarks she has and that’s what drove them nuts. She licks the tile in the same spot for hours. She stares at the cieling for reflections and if that reflection moves she feels justified on the time she spent staring at it. “MOM! did you see that? When you poured your coffee, the light from the coffee pot made a relection on the cieling!! I WILL NOW ATTEMPT TO EAT THAT REFLECTION!!!” and then she barks for a minute at the relfection.
Anyone that watches the Dog Whisperer knows this isn’t healthy. I should be sitting next to her correcting this behavior, but I can’t. THIS IS ALL SHE HAS. Her goal in life is to protect our family from the reflections that haunt our house.
This morning she was over protective. Everytime I took a step she blocked me. I would move to the left and her body would dodge to move me out of the way of the relflection.
“Halo! stop it.” She didn’t take her eyes off the cieling as I tried to get around her. “Move it.” She then barked and scared the bejezzus out of me. “HALLOOOOOO!!” and the more I got worked up, the more excited she got. “MOVE IT DOG!” I waved my hand to get her to move and that sent her over the edge at staring and barking at the cieling.
The dog makes me do it everytime. She sits and stares at that cieling and I eventually look up thinking there is going to be some poltergiest up there and there is nothing but a slight light relflection.
I decided OKAY, this time there is a big blob of demon on the cieling and this will be the last time I fall for it because if I don’t look up the dog will never let me past her.   I look up and I’LL BE DAMNED, there were millions of reflections just bouncing around up there.
It was the beads and shiny stuff from the trim of my tank top that was catching the light from the kitchen window. My bouncing boobs excited the dog.
How could you get rid of a dog that recognizes the important things in life? boobs that mezmorize you.
26 responses to “Questions they only ask mom…”
Awesome dog!
I have to agree with wayward. I love the quirks that animals have. One of my dogs likes to play with his rawhide bone. He will drop it on the floor and then try and fake it out. I love watching the animals do their weird things, they just make me laugh.
I just want to say I love your dog. Spots on his nose, shadow chasing, boob mezmorizing dog that he is – that photo just made me smile. It made me smile in the same way as when my husband and I had a (minor) agrument the other day and he tried to call our dog out of the room with him and she would not budge from my side. Good Girl!
HEY! Shaun plays softball, which is a sport. A sport that is usually centered around drinking beer, but a sport nonetheless. You mustn’t challenge his masculinity like this. I’m just saying…
Shaun plays softball, but doesn’t drink beer. ever. He my friend, IS A GEEK.
I love your blog, you are such a good writer. This is too funny, the dog that looks at light on the ceiling. Connie
I love dogs, that have strange behaviours, makes them unique. My Mum’s dog drags around his blanket all day (like a toddler). :)
True geeks have laser pointers (in green if you are *really* geeky) use it on those days your boobs aren’t quite so bouncy and shiney…Halo will love it!
OMG that is the funniest damn thing I’ve read all day…I thought our animals had issues…
But a cute and charming geek – you’ll admit THAT won’t you?
Shaun is a HOT geek though don’t cha think..RSG can holla at me on this one.
Although I guess I should stop calling your husband HOT huh? Maybe that is why he doesn’t talk to me anymore. ;)
OK..Marina..my advice is to find a new home until the cell phone bill is paid. Guess you should get a job soon huh?
don’t we all [dogs and humans] have our little quirks ;)
Dude, your dog has serious issues. :) That is hillarious. I love the odd little quirks that animals have. :)
I nearly peed. Another post about your rack. LOL
Seriously, you know I have a crush on Halo. I’m wondering if those people were crazy.
smart dog
I’m thinking about bringing home a disco light and seeing if the dog will actually explode.
Sorry for the lack of attention Pissy! I’ll work on that.
Shaun,
Thank you.
You have redeemed yourself. Now can you tell me who the hell your daughter was talking to and runnin up the cell phone minutes like that?
haha.
It would be easier to just list who she WASN’T talking to!!
Halo is just so damn cute. Crazy, but cute.
I feel you.
We just got Ashtin THIS
http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/store/controller?item=phoneFirst&action=viewPhoneDetail&selectedPhoneId=2060
AND SHE IS PISSED OFF about it.
wow, even the dog is into your boobs! who would have thought it?
Third day of clarification here…there is nothing wrong with a dog, gay or not, touching, admiring or photographing boobies.
halo’s gay? what’s up with that?
you know what i do to our dogs? i bought one of those bouncy toys that has a battery in it. it shakes all over the floor….they hate it, but i love watching them soo…
look, it’s gettin cold outside and i live in the country-i need stimulation..so…pfft.
My cat meows to have the sink turned on so she can drink from it.
Oh my goodness you have a knack for expressing things! I about pissed myself laughing!!!!
ah, my cat…He turns our bathrub faucet on in the middle of the night, turns all the sink faucets on and then stands on my chest to meow for me to turn them off when they are too loud. Or he takes his chance with turning only one on, and I sleep through it, then I have no hot water to shower with in the morning.
He has broken every pair of blinds in my house, shreds anything that even resembles plastic, and knocks my glasses off the night stand….would I trade him? Not for a minute..