Questions they only ask mom…
“Kristine, where is a Tennis Ball.”
Now take a moment and think back to all the posts about our Tennis Playing family. Any come to mind? Yeah, BECAUSE WE DON’T PLAY TENNIS. We are a family of geeks, and these geeks don’t play sports.
Marina started Cross Country. I believe now she knew that Phone Bill was coming and needed to build up endurance to be able to out run my car when I chased her down to run her over.
When Tyler asks me random questions like this, without thought I begin listing places that you would be able to find a tennis ball in our house.
One day Shea is going to come up to me and ask me where she can find plutonium and i’m going to say, “Check the junk drawer.”
“Wait.” My mind actually kicks in and I have 75 different senarios of what he could do with a tennis ball that involves video games and the computer. “Why do you want a tennis ball?”
And then he shocks me, “The dog wants to play.”
Poor Halo. It’s been a year since we got her and In this year Tyler has had a girlfriend, broke up with a girlfriend, is head over heels for someone who wants nothing to do with him, got a new Guitar Hero set up, got an ACTUAL guitar and went on a 10 day vacation. She’s BORED to death.
When ever I buy a used car I always wonder ‘why did the person sell this?’ and I start to obsess of the reasons. There is only 40 thousand miles on it, that’s not even enough time to wear out the first set of brakes. I wonder if the person didn’t like the sound of the blinker. Maybe it was in a horrible accident and it got repaired, but the transmission is going to fall out if I hit a bump.
The dog was a ‘used’ dog. I wonder if the people who owned her before knew about all the cool little quarks she has and that’s what drove them nuts. She licks the tile in the same spot for hours. She stares at the cieling for reflections and if that reflection moves she feels justified on the time she spent staring at it. “MOM! did you see that? When you poured your coffee, the light from the coffee pot made a relection on the cieling!! I WILL NOW ATTEMPT TO EAT THAT REFLECTION!!!” and then she barks for a minute at the relfection.
Anyone that watches the Dog Whisperer knows this isn’t healthy. I should be sitting next to her correcting this behavior, but I can’t. THIS IS ALL SHE HAS. Her goal in life is to protect our family from the reflections that haunt our house.
This morning she was over protective. Everytime I took a step she blocked me. I would move to the left and her body would dodge to move me out of the way of the relflection.
“Halo! stop it.” She didn’t take her eyes off the cieling as I tried to get around her. “Move it.” She then barked and scared the bejezzus out of me. “HALLOOOOOO!!” and the more I got worked up, the more excited she got. “MOVE IT DOG!” I waved my hand to get her to move and that sent her over the edge at staring and barking at the cieling.
The dog makes me do it everytime. She sits and stares at that cieling and I eventually look up thinking there is going to be some poltergiest up there and there is nothing but a slight light relflection.
I decided OKAY, this time there is a big blob of demon on the cieling and this will be the last time I fall for it because if I don’t look up the dog will never let me past her. I look up and I’LL BE DAMNED, there were millions of reflections just bouncing around up there.
It was the beads and shiny stuff from the trim of my tank top that was catching the light from the kitchen window. My bouncing boobs excited the dog.
How could you get rid of a dog that recognizes the important things in life? boobs that mezmorize you.