You know that phrase, “What part of NO do you not understand?”
That phrase was made up by a frustrated mother.
“Mom…” She comes up to the bed where i’m sleeping. She’s using that tone.
“No.”
“Mom.” Now she’s using a tone that proves that the ‘mom’ before wasn’t as urgent this time.
“No.”
“But mom…” The whine before the ‘but mom’ is her way of boosting this up a level.
“No.”
“You’re not even listening to me!” It’s now a whine with a high pitched tone.
“You’re not staying home from school. No.”
“But mom.” She has gone back to the ‘but mom’, like she’s going to try reasoning with me.
“No.”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW!” She’s gone ‘there’ and that requires me to pull out the eyebrow and glare.
“Unless you’re bleeding, a limb from your body is hanging on by the skin or you have a fever so high I can fry an egg on your forehead…YOU ARE GOING TO SCHOOL.”
Guess what came next?
Yep, The dramatic sigh and stomping out of the room.
27 responses to “My mother’s favorite revenge…my daughters.”
bUT momMMMMMMMMMMM.
actually, that was me trying to stay home from work today.
I pouted the entire drive here.
LOL. I see you found the gas cards and money I left you :)
For a second there, I thought you had copied a chapter from Erma Bombeck. In so many ways, your writing reminds me of all the chuckles.
Classmates in high school thought I was weird for reading her books, but the memories and reminders have pushed me through some touch places.
Hahaha.
This sounds like my house on a daily basis.
my dad, a teacher, didn’t miss a day of work for 30 years. Made it pretty tough to pull the sick card.
My kids already have though! That’s funny!
I was allowed to stay home from school any time…but if I wasnt bleeding or dying I was forced to pull weeds. I had perfect attendance for 6 years
You just described my morning as well.
I have never read Erma Bombeck, but heard she’s funny. Sadly I have never read any ‘parenting’ books. I own them, but never read them. I usually just buy the big books and then beat the children with them until they start doing things my way.
Don’t they know by now that we *KNOW* what they’re going to ask?
My son is SO me at his age! My father just laughs and smiles as if all is now right with the world.
My mother gets that perverse laugh that says, “HAHAHHAHAAHHAHA…Comes around/Goes around”
OMG I thought you were talking about my daughter for a minute there. After you said that she pouted and left the room I knew it wasn’t my daughter b/c mine would’ve fallen’ on the floor crying.
My mom gets a call, frequently, with me accusing her of “doing this to me” b/c of all those years of her wishing a daughter apon me. Damn!
What I find so funny is how all the kids don’t realize that we were their age once! They don’t get that we have tried every card in the deck. All my daughter has to do is look at me and I know what she is going to ask. I always tell her “No” before she even speaks. She gets mad and stomps to her room. My son, when he wants to speak, just stares at me. If I don’t respond to the stare, he will leave all pissy. My parents laugh at me daily when I ask the question “What in the hell were they thinking trying to pull that” Then, like a slap in the head, I remember doing the same thing. (sigh) Same situation, different faces.
My mom’s favorite saying when I was a kid-“I hope you have one just like you!” I had three . I know my youngest kid pulls that stuff with me all the time, when I say no, she just skips class and pays the price later. She’s a dumbass 16 year old…what can I say? I missed 43 math classes one semester in grade 10, only passed cause I pulled the sympathy card with the teacher who, unlike my mother, didn’t know me!
Uh huh. “I hope you have one just like you.”
Yep.
am i too much of a geek admitting that i never pulled that shit on my parents. ok, i have to admit there were both teachers at my school [my mom at elementary, my dad in highschool]… so maybe that’s why i knew it wouldn’t work ;)
am i too much of a geek admitting that i never pulled that shit on my parents. ok, i have to admit they were both teachers at my school [my mom in elementary, my dad in highschool]… so maybe that’s why i knew it wouldn’t work ;)
Funny stuff.
OMG i’m having dejavu!
That is SOOOOO my kid!!!
I’m so screwed when my kids get older…. seriously screwed.
San… I’m such a geek that I WANTED to go to school. I would pretend to be well when I was really sick because I didn’t want to miss any of the action. And not just in high school when it was a social thing, but also in elementary when I was always teacher’s pet and a suck up. God, I was horrible.
I know I am going to have tons of daughters and they are all going to be worse than I was. Damn I am so screwed!
Just think they will have their own daughters one day and what goes around comes around!
Oh and by the way you are such a mean mom. Damn not letting them skip school!
I think I have her twin over here… ;)
I cursed my oldest today. He loves to argue with me. It’s like he sees this gage that starts off fine and he argues until it hits orange then runs off and giggles maniacly (sp?) in the other room.
sounds extremely familiar! Has she worked up to the bedroom door slam yet? Eventually the door fell off the hinges from so much stomping and slamming. We didn’t fix it for a long time. It doesn’t get slammed anymore.
*sigh* Grateful for my high-maintenance, spirited boy. At least they’re not boring, or dumb…