The Other Family Member

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: damn dogs!

This is Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog. She’s a MINI toycup poodle. When I say MINI, I mean…She’s so small that we tend to forget to mention that we have a dog.

I went to the pet store to see if this other little dog was in. All I saw was a bunch of hyperactive poodles in the cage. I don’t like poodles, but puppie-poodle is sort of cute. I went over there and they were all jumping around, fuzzy, pink tounged. I looked in the back and there in the corner was a little black fur ball that could fit in the palm of my hand. It looked like one of the other poodles had coughed up a hairball in the corner.
I asked the guy, “What’s that in the back?” and he said, “The runt. It probably wont live though, look at how small it is.” I asked to see it and he looked at me like I was crazy.
“The mom stopped feeding it.”
He handed me the fur ball that fit in the palm of my hand. It was going to die. There was NO way this thing was going to live. It had zero life left in it.
“I’ll take it.” I paid the seriously reduced price and put the dog in my bra. Yes. I put the dog in my bra.
We went back to my sisters house and I told Kara I got her something. She looked around and when she didn’t see anything I pulled the little thing out. She thought it was a beanie baby….and then the dog moved his head and she SCREAMED with excitement.
She smothered it in love, and I told her that it would probably not make it, but she didn’t care. She had A DOG!
I told her to put it on the lawn so it could go pee. The freshly mowed lawn was TOO TALL for her to stand in and she couldn’t even walk.
She also didn’t have elbows, so when she would bend over to eat she would fall in her food.
I knew she was going to live when I saw how she stood up for herself against my mom’s rottie. She barked…and jumped up and down, and did little puppie growls. This is the dog that is the size of that dog’s poop!
Mooshu did live. Her name changed from day one. We thought ‘duchess’, ‘princess’, ‘little bit’. Dale (an old friend) said, “I refuse to call that dog, ‘princess or baby or whatever lame ass name you give it.” He started calling it, “Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog” and it stuck.

40 reasons he loves me

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Shaun

I was writing my top 40 things that happened in 2004 last night and Shaun came in and asked what I was doing. This is when I came up with the bright idea of what I wanted for Christmas.
I told him I wanted him to write the top 40 reasons why he loves me. He didn’t seem to thrilled about it and I didn’t think I would see it, but I came into work this morning and he had sent me the email. He said it was okay if I post it on my blog…so here you go. And this is why I love him, because he loves the most random things about me.

40. You name and speak to inanimate objects as if they are your extended family
39. You get more excited about me making bacon or grilled cheese sandwiches than if I make a full meal
38. The orgasmic look on your face when you torture my warm skin with your frigid feet
37. The way you still think you can turn your head (but keep your eyes fixed on the monitor) and pretend to pay attention
36. The way you change words into Kristese (awns cream?)
35. Your hand gestures that try to translate when your words aren’t working
34. The sly smile you get right before you do something evil
33. ***tacklehugs***
32. How excited you get for your friends and family when they tell you things.
31. The way you try to talk to me when you’re still 98.75% asleep
30. My sweaters look better on you
29. The way you write, I can hear your voice when I read your words
28. You always notice when I buy something new, whether its a shirt or a jar of pickles
27. You can pull off the pontytail through the baseball hat look
26. You get physically nervous during the end of any close game on TV
25. I can see pieces of your personality in each of your girls, like you left them laying around and the girls kept them
24. Every old song reminds you of someone or a random moment from your past
23. You hate seafood, sour cream, and guacamole just like me
22. You were SURE that my dad needed a duck for protection, and we had to shop for just the right duck
21. You’ll actually endure horror movies with me even though you don’t like them
20. You were excited for an entire month about the availability of Starbucks’ gingerbread lattes
19. You think straws are flexible toothpicks
18. Your frustrated face when I challenge you on something
17. You are a Yankess fan who selfishly rooted for the Red Sox curse to end because YOU wanted to break it
16. You will change out of pajamas and back into your clothes if a friend needs you to go somewhere
15. When you smile, you smile with your eyes
14. When you want something, you buy it…then and there. I act like I don’t like it, but its pretty impressive. I don’t do that much
13. In your sleep, your legs and feet grab me like shrink-wrap
12. The tip of my index finger fits perfectly in your trademark chin dimple
11. You make me laugh, nice to be on the receiving side of a funny line sometimes
10. You appreciate when I dress up or smell good
9. If my painting or food isn’t quite right, you tell me and it doesn’t piss me off
8. When you laugh REALLY hard, your laugh goes silent for 3-4 seconds
7. You’re pretty, but you think you aren’t
6. You have a great bed and amazing water pressure (how did this not make the top 5?)
5. The look on your face when we say the same thing at the same time is priceless
4. You treat my kids in the same abusive and violent manner as your own kids
3. Your eyes tell me you love me twice as many times as your voice does
2. You know when I need a break, a nap, a punch to the lower abdomen, a kiss on the neck(on rare occasions, all four)
1. When I’m with you, I can be myself ……when I’m not with you, I wear your clothes and pretend you’re there

He loves me.

40 things from 2004

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

It is a writing challenge from one of the two lists I am on. I am to come up with 40 things that happened to me in 2004. It really seems like A SUPER LOT to think of, but I might actually get through this.

  1. I sold the Saturn.
  2. I bought the Camry.
  3. I lost my mind.
  4. I am slowly getting better.
  5. Shaun and his two kids moved in March 1st.
  6. I ended a very unhealthy friendship.
  7. I had to take my 7 year old to the hospital because she broke her arm. It broke my heart.
  8. I changed my political party.
  9. I organized all my pictures. all of them. ALL of them.
  10. I bought a new computer.
  11. I bought a new camera. I named it Matty. I don’t know why.
  12. I re-fell in love with the Gingerbread Latte’s from Starbucks.
  13. I have learned tolerance in SMALL doses.
  14. I didn’t get everything I wanted this year. I survived it.
  15. My mom and dad finalized the divorce.
  16. I lost two of my friends. One to Oregon…one to Idaho.
  17. I quit my job.
  18. I got a better one. Sort of.
  19. I am learning that even though I hated it when it was told to me, but life has patterns.
  20. I met a new friend, and she’s really fancy and neat and I like her.
  21. I had a dream MONTHS ago that I killed someone and buried them in the backyard and that dream is still coming back to haunt me. I almost went to jail last night in my dreams because of something I did in a dream MONTHS ago!
  22. I turned 32. THIRTY two? how the hell did that happen?
  23. I now get a weird feeling when something bad is about to happen.
  24. I hate Grant Napier.
  25. Upon having to do Dan’s homework, I learned some pretty cool stuff about black history.
  26. I found out that when i’m sad, I like rootbeer.
  27. OMG! I finally bought a new cell phone!
  28. I adopted two grandmas.
  29. I did not travel AT ALL this year.
  30. I went to a Fleetwood Mac concert with Kara. It was her first concert.
  31. I went to a Kings game. They won.
  32. I thought about TRYING that wakeboarding thing. I didn’t do it though.
  33. I learned the definition of Wanderlust, and it doesn’t mean what I thought it did.
  34. The sound of certain people’s voices makes me want to vomit.
  35. I did not have enough romance AT ALL this year.
  36. I want to be happy again. I want it so bad, I ache.
  37. I broke the curse of the Bambino.
  38. I became a Yankee fan.
  39. I bought my THIRD copy of Kid Rock’s “Rebel Without a Cause”
  40. I need therapy, my friends are not enough anymore.

When they were young – Shea

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: shea

I just can’t stop staring at this picture thinking, “When did it happen? When and HOW did she get past this stage in life?” Did I get enough kisses in? Was she hugged enough? Did I give her all the attention she needed? BECAUSE I CAN’T REMEMBER HER BEING THIS LITTLE!
I remember Kara being that little. I sort of remember Alyx being this little, but Shea…she went from newborn to 6 years old in like ten minutes.
She’s SIX! Holy crap.
When i’m 42, my youngest child is going to be 16.
My sweet little Baya, don’t grow up anymore. I want you to stay little forever.

When they were Young – Alyx

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: alyx, Random

I went through some old picture CD’s from a million years ago. I am so happy that I took the time to back up my computer because these pictures would be lost in one of the 6 hard drives that I have crashed since 1998 (when I first hooked a modem up to my computer and started this crazy thing called, “Online”)

I had no idea in 1999 when I was sitting in the back yard trying to get Alyx to stand there long enough to get a picture of her, that I would be sharing the story with anyone 5 years later.

I was reminded today (dooce.com) how hard it is to get a child to keep at hat on. Alyx wasn’t like that. She loved her hats. She just hating taking pictures. She was disgruntled, even at a young age, about pictures being taken of her. It was impossible to get a picture that didn’t have Alyx flipping off the camera*, it was like she believed that if her picture was taken she would be robbed of her soul or something.

This was my backyard when I was married. I lived in this backyard. I planted, I plucked weeds, I screamed at the vines that would pop up over the fence that threatened my oasis. That was when I was married, stayed home and had little babies to watch. Now my backyard looks like a burial ground for toddler toys, dead trees, dog houses and old mops that we forgot we put out there because they were wet.
No fucked up backyard is complete without a weight bench somewhere.
and yes, i’m pretty sure you might find one if you looked on the side of the house.

I degress from the story…

So Alyx (by the way, she’s 7 now)and I were in the backyard and I was taking pictures of her. She was SO frustrated and tired of the pictures.
I finally gave up and said, “Oh come here baby girl.” and THEN the smile happens as she is running over to me. I snapped the shot and this is how I got my favorite picture of Alyx.

Weekend Randomness

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random

Weekend Randomness

You know, it’s pretty bad when my camera follies are the most artistic ones on my blog.

I was going for that effect when I took the picture. Okay, I lie.

It’s the ‘ohh, look the camera has functions other than the ‘auto’ button, let me see what this one does. Oh cool, it makes me look like I forgot to take my Xanax and decided to take pictures!’

I need to see if I can pull out my old camera books and try to figure out what the hell an f/stop does. I use to know how to take pictures. I think ‘digital’ has made me lazy.

Click, Shoot, Crap, Delete.

*!*

Last night I went to the casino to see Peja (Sacramento Kings Basketball Player) and to take some pictures. I lied to get pictures. I was standing there next to one of the casino managers and I pulled out my camera. He said, “I’m sorry, but you can’t take any pictures inside the casino.” I remembered something from one of the million of TV shows I watched with [name removed per request] after an all nighter at Bingo and came up with, “I talked to the Manager back there (I point to the farthest point from where I was) before Peja got here and he said people can take pictures as long as none of the pictures have slot machines in them.” He thought about it and I can see him actually going through every training course in his head he had about Casino Management and he must have remembered something that resembled what I had said because he nodded and let me continue to take pictures.

If by chance that Peja reads my blog, or there is someone out there that knows Peja, please tell him I am REALLY sorry about the flash. I kinda went crazy with the whole picture taking thing because I didn’t know if at some point a person who had actually paid attention during those Casino Management classes came out and took my camera away.
I will post a cute picture of Peja after Shaun lightens them up and makes him look less stoned.

*!*

I am so loving my online life right now. I have a morning ritual. I go to dooce.com, jump over to Rebekah’s page, check out my flickr groups and contacts and then I go check my own blog and see if anyone commented. If they did and they left a link to their blog, I go read their blog and then go and see what updates have happened at dooce. It’s sort of lame, but it beats reading the morning news and getting depressed.

I love my new friend. She’s fantastic and ‘fancy’ too.

and now it’s the weekend and I should be laying on the couch watching a movie with Shaun or maybe taking a shower. Or possibly looking for those photography books.

f/stop for dummies, here I come.

Overpowered by two little girls and a pink razor

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: alyx, My Brats, shea

Today the 6 year old smacked into the only little girl in first grade with a titanium skull and she knocked out her front tooth. The other one is coming out within hours.
They were baby teeth, but still, her tooth fell out of her head because she hit Emily-the-brick-wall.

Since the other tooth is all wiggly, I wanted to feel it. The 7 year old, knowing her mother like she does, warns the 6 year old not to let me, that I will ‘yank it out with great force’. The 6 year old is now leery of letting me near her mouth. This, of course, leads into tickling. It’s amazing that these two little girls can fight with each other until my ears bleed, but when it comes to tickle wars, they have each other’s backs. I have the 6 year old in a pretty good head lock and the giggling is at high pitch when the 7 year old starts to help her out of the head lock with the only known tactic she can use that she knows will work without fail. She licks me. I FREAK out of course because there is nothing grosser than a 7 year old licking you.
They get out of the head lock and run down the hall, the giggling getting louder. I follow…my robe waving behind me like Superman. “I’m going to get you!” I hear the bedroom door slam, but of course there is no lock and I open the door to find them climbing up on the top bunk. I’m up there before they are and I got tickling hand ready.

The seven year old isn’t getting enough attention. “Mommy!! you want to tickle me! you want to bite my arms (they are pretty tasty arms)”I stop the 6 year old assault and start chasing the 7 year old out of the room and into the kitchen. She’s not there. She’s not in the living room. Stop to check the score on the Kings vs. Lacer’s game. I hear them in the bathroom now. They have the door half way shut and I slide across the floor and the door is about two inches from being shut.
That’s when it happened. I got overpowered by two little girls. They got the door shut AND LOCKED.

They were easily tricked with the ‘shutting of my bedroom door’ trick. The door opened and I got in. The 7 year old jumped in the shower and grabbed the bottle of shampoo and a pink razor (no worries, it was the kind without razor blades in it) Somehow it ended up in my closet where I got beat to hell with a pair of flip flops.

I am so screwed when they are teenagers.

He loves them…

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: My Brats, Shaun

He loves them...

This is a picture of the most handsomest man in the whole world.

This picture shows me why I love him so much. That smile. That smile because MY girls are crawling all over him and hugging him. That smile because they love him. That smile because he loves MY girls.

He amazes me every single day.

This picture is why I love him. Just in case anyone was wondering.

I’M A LINK!!

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: Random

I'M A LINK!!

Yes, I am a link. I have TWO official readers outside of my mom and sister. AND I’M A LINK NOW.
Her name is Rebekah and you can find her at: http://thehouseofcards.typepad.com/
As soon as I figure out how to add links to my page…she’s TOP O’ THE LIST. I say that with my best Irish accent that I don’t have.
She’s one of those insanely pretty women that you wouldn’t expect to be so cool. She relates to the joys and crazy moments of being a step parent. AND SHE ADDED ME TO HER LIST OF BLOGS!

My online life is now finally validated.

Someone now tell me how to make a perma-link using blogspot so I can validate some other people’s lives!!

I’m a link…if you haven’t already heard.

Shea the Elf

Posted By: randomandodd  //  Category: photography, Random

Shea the Elf

Tonight was Shea’s Christmas play — The Polar Express.
We got there early so Shea could get her make up on. It was PACKED. You would think that Hillary Duff was going to be playing an elf.

CAMERAS FOR DAYS! The flash content in that gym was crazy!

We all know I have a camera obsession. I know this, but I couldn’t find a ‘digital camera’ fix in any of my self help books. Tonight was hell for me. EVERY parent has a camera. I am looking at EVERY single camera within my view. 3.2 megapixel, 4.0 megapixel, Oh god-OLD digital camera, 5.1 megapixel, 35 mm, Sony, Olympus, Kodak, Nikon (no, I didn’t see a D70 in the house). My daughter is singing up there and I am trying to figure out what the hell type of camera the woman next to me is holding. I should have taken a picture of it because no one would believe me if I told them it what is was. Okay, I say that because I can’t remember the type of film people used before the 35mm camera became so popular. It had one of those flashes with the bulb thing that only has like 5 flashes then you have to replace it! DO THEY STILL MAKE THOSE? I guess so, because the woman next to me was holding one and was waiting for the exact moment to ‘point and shoot’ that baby.

I started to feel bad as I had taken the seat between her husband and herself so I could get a good shot with my digital. I am rotating through the options: Close up, Still life, Museum, Action, Party….and all the while the husband sitting next to me is drooling on my camera. I took my pictures and left.

My daughter was, of course, the most dramatic and animated elf on the whole stage. I’m sure there is a shot of her dancing like a loon on the 150 cameras….and maybe one of her on a super old camera.

That picture is probably better than the one I took.