Your mom busted in and said, “What’s that noise?”

Did you know that Hummers have ass warmers? I didn’t. I spent the 2 hour drive home with a nice and toasty rear.

I figured since Ruka was bringing her baby, I should bring mine. Mine of course is almost 13 and I didn’t factor in the stories that would be circling the room.

“Did you ever tell Kara about the time when we…” One of them would start.
“EARMUFFS KARA! EARMUFFS!”

It was too late, my daughter is now enlightened to all my evil ways. There is no turning back after her hearing the story about ‘that one time in high school.’.

I guess now that she knows about ‘that one time’, I can share the conversation that Shaun and I had the other day on the way home.

“See that trailer park right there, Shaun!? I lived there in a tiny travel trailer when I first moved to Sacramento. I didn’t know that this is where the hookers hung out!”

He then told me a nice little story about the time a hooker came up to his car and scared the bejeezus out of him when he was 19.
I of course, had a similar story…

“I remember when I first moved down here and I was driving home from a Dungeons and Dragon’s meeting STONED OUT OF MY MIND and a hooker came up to my car and scared the shit out of me…”

I didn’t finish the story because Shaun was laughing too hard.

“Yeah, that one beats mine honey, you win.”

My daughter found out the wonderful details of my crazy childhood. From dating the shortest guy in school to the party in 8th grade where Bryce was out in the snow looking for the box of wine coolers.

When we got home I said, “Kara, you have to understand…that was a totally different time.”

She asked, “Where was grandma during all of this?”

“We slipped sleeping pills in her buttermilk.”