The dog is channeling Telly Savalas

The dog brings me only a little bit of happiness. Dressing the dog up with weird headbands, watching her slide across the kitchen floor and hitting the island and watching her perk her ears when Shaun makes high pitched sounds is the ONLY joy the dog brings me.

She chews on EVERYTHING. If you’re walking, she’s trying to herd you to the direction she wants you to go in. She has scratched the hell out of the back door and sliding glass screen. She goes into rooms she’s not allowed in and she bolts out the front door and takes off.
This dog is the biggest pain the arse.

I decided that today I was going to leave her alone in the kitchen for 15 minutes to see if she can stay out of trouble. When I walked in to check on her I was surprised to see she was being an angel. Laying on the floor with her head resting on her front paws…and a sucker stick poking out of the front of her mouth.

Instead of yelling at her like I have done a million times when I find her with a sucker in her mouth, I grabbed the camera. She followed me into the bedroom and sat on the floor and ate her sucker while I took pictures. I know I am sending her the wrong signals by allowing her to eat the sucker when in the past I tell her no and taken it away.
I don’t care anymore though. This dog has a stash of Dum-Dum suckers hidden SOMEWHERE in this house. I haven’t been able to figure out where she hides them. That’s pretty damn impressive for a dog.

If my daughter is reading this, let it be known that if you decide to hide drugs, smokes, or a boy somewhere in this house and just because I don’t find it doesn’t mean I will allow you to do them!
In fact…if I walk into the kitchen and see you chewing* on any of them, I will take a picture of you and post it on the internet for all the world to see.

*the word ‘chewing’ has replaced the word ‘sucking’ because the thought of that makes me want to hurl.