STF – I obsess over anxiety

This week was an anxiety attack waiting to happen. I kept thinking ‘Do I show this? what if it’s too much? What if they think i’m totally freakaristic? (yes, Cat..you can have that word) What if they point and laugh? Then I remembered only Pissy does that and she’s on vacation so I might be okay.

Seriously…this week was hard. So let’s get the big one out of the way.

My Horrible Habit

I bit my fingers and lips. It’s not bordem or a habit. It’s totally stress related. If I am internally freaking out I will bite (or pick) my lips and my fingers. It drive my family nuts and I am SO sorry, I know it totally sucks and I’m horribly embarrassed by it too. I just don’t know how to stop.

Something I obsess over

Dear God, I have so many. I was going to post a picture of the wall. You know how sometimes when you paint and you get a little bit on the ceiling? O.B.S.E.SSSSSSSSS.

I went with this…it’s a personal obsession, and it has bothered me my whole life and I have done EVERYTHING to fix it and it won’t go away.

Do you see it?
no, not the crazy eyebrow hair.
no, not the crazy hair that grows out of the middle of my forehead. Shut up Kathy.
Not the dry skin between my eyebrows.
You see it? I can…it ruins ALL of my pictures. It’s the dark circles. EVERYTHING. to get rid of them. EVERYTHING. I’ve read EVERYTHING. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. nothing works. I’m a dark circle person.
Weird thing is…some people, who are blind as a bat, don’t see it. I do. I look like Bella Lugosi’s lost daughter.

Something that causes anxiety

This is the one I couldn’t decide on. I wanted to get a picture of the dust particles on my dashboard and the tiny crumbs that I can’t get out of the van carpet. I didn’t though. That one is a given to anyone that has ever gotten into a car with me.
This is my secret anxiety…it’s soap scum.
It freaks me the fuck out. I hate it. I have taken the showers off and drug them onto the lawn and scrubbed the living fuck out of them…nothing. I can’t get it off. It causes anxiety because it’s the shower that my guests ending up using because the other shower sucks…and even though I have a ‘devil may care’ attitude about somethings…the place where people shower is a big one for me. I want it clean, yet if I can’t get it as clean as I want…I get freaked out a bit.

I still think the dust on the dashboard causes more hard core freakage though. It’s stupid…i’m not even a clean obsessed person. Far from it. I mean…I had a van that my friends called “Petri Dish” because it was a science project!

WHY these things cause me anxiety, i’ll never know.

Okay…let me have it. If you didn’t play, but want to tell me about your obsessions and anxiety attacks, please feel free. It will make me feel less like a freak right now.

Did you play??