PRVT. ROXY

Sheeeee’s Back…again. Sort of.

It’s been about 5 months since I heard from her. She came back awhile ago after getting into a domestic violence situation with her freak of nature boyfriend. After that she packed up and moved to Idaho. bitch.

Anyway, she called me today and said, “GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!” I freaked out. The sound of her voice brings the taste of Captain Morgan to my mouth and I can physically feel strappy shoes on my feet. She was my partner in bartending crime.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?” I ask this because even though I last heard she was in Idaho she could be in Sadia Arabia for all I know. She’s crazy like that.

“I joined the ARMY!”

To say I was stunned doesn’t seem to cover it. Shaun looked at me and I know he’s waiting for me to say she’s in Aruba partying with the two released brothers or something.

“Where are you?” I ask again.
“In Virginia.”
“You in bootcamp?” Images of this crazy ass woman with a gun makes me smile.
“No, I graduated a few months ago. GUESS WHAT? I can shoot an M-16 now!”

We did the whole promising to see each other before she gets shipped off to where ever they think can handle her.

When we worked together and she was talking about wanting to move I told her I wanted her to see the world. I DID NOT MEAN LIKE THIS.

Crazy ass bitch.