I’m a 600 lb man!!

I had exactly 25 minutes to shower, dress, find a brush, convince my friend ‘Cita who had JUST gotten back from SF that morning to be my co-pilot, go the bank and manage to get to the airport to pick up KC.

By the grace of God, I DID IT. I shaved off about 4 days of my life doing it, but I’ll worry about that in the end.

“Do you know what she looks like?” Cita asks me as we stand at the bottom of the terminal waiting for KC’s flight.
“Pink shirt, black pants…floral bag.”
“THAT’S IT?”
“We met through the internet, what do you expect?”

She came down the escalator and when she saw me she smiled all big and I got one hell of a hug!

We made it to the car and for 2 hours we talked about everything.

Without any problems (road rage or anxiety attacks) we found the hotel in SF and got her settled in. We weren’t going to leave until we knew her luggage was back at the hotel and not in some airport circling around and around.
She called her hubby to let her know that we didn’t kill her and leave her in a ditch somewhere on the side of interstate 80.
She says, “Oh and honey, no worries, she wasn’t a 600 lb man afterall!”

He was of course embarrassed that she would tell me that he was scared I was some scary dude pretending to be someone else and luring unsuspecting bloggers to their deaths.
We all got a good giggle out of it and I told her the story about how I had met some of my friends from the My So-Called Life mailing list friends in Pittsburgh, Kansas and when anyone asked where we met, we would say, “An internet chat room for serial killers.”

We did manage to track down her luggage at the SF airport. IT HAD JUST GOTTEN THERE. Her real flight wouldn’t have even have landed yet!
She did get a glimpse of anxiety-Kristine in the SF airport terminal.
“WHY ARE THEY HONKING? WHY IS HE RIGHT BEHIND ME? OH GOD MAKE HIM STOP!”
My friend ‘Cita has had 10 years of knowing the right things to say and do and the tone to say them in to get me to calm down so I didn’t have to kill any people on the road or any unsuspecting blogger friends.

I even let KC play with the BAMF. Her first words off the plane was, “You really do carry that thing everywhere don’t you?”

Since 90% of the trip was in the car this is what she got to take pictures of.

I didn’t want to leave, I wanted to hang out and take more crazy pictures of the glass elevators and steal some of the lavender scented linen spray they offer the hotel guests…but I did.

Note to KC’s husband and mom: She made it! She was well behaved and was no trouble at all.
and if she has some crazy flashbacks about pulling out of the gas station at 80 miles per hour just give her some Xanax and she will be JUST fine.