“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” -Rumi

“When I am with you, we stay up all night. When you’re not here, I can’t go to sleep. Praise God for those two insomnias! And the difference between them.” -Rumi

We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. — “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” April 16, 1963

Respect your haters. They are the ones who think you are better than them. -Unknown

You don’t understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you’re expected move again only you don’t remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you. -Francesca, Bridges of Madison County

“Motherfuckin’ tittysuckin’ two-balled bitch!” -Agent Zoil – Paul

Random and Odd

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

4 February, 2025 /

i want to get rid of R&O because i feel like the only time i write here is when i am at the absolute lowest in my life.

i had dreams about my mom last night, even though i don’t remember them. i woke up feeling like i got to spend time with her. i could feel her laugh.

i was driving home a friend the other day and we were talking about something and i started crying, like i was fine and then all the sudden tears and sobs. fortunately for me it was a friend and she was very kind about it. it’s frustrating to hold all this sadness in my body like i am. i can feel it in my chest like it wants to explode out or like it wants to claw its way out. sometimes it’s so much hurt that i want to crack my chest open to get it out. today it’s on the right side at the bottom of my ribs and as if it has it’s own lifeforce, it’s beating. yesterday i found out that if I stab myself with the letter opener it redirects the pain.