Random and Odd

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus.

“If you want to break my cold, cold heart Just say, ‘I loved you the way that you were'”

 

Who am I now?  I’m cold. I’m not unfeeling, but no one sees how anything effects me anymore.  That way no one can say that I over reacted, didn’t react the way they wanted me to.
I was reading a book and the MMC was “unfeeling”  and if you’re one of those people they call unfeeling you know that person feels EVERYTHING and all at once and it’s very overwhelming.

I maybe calm now, I may be emotionless and seem as if I am unbothered.  That is not what is going on in my head or heart.  I am feeling everything, especially the hurt at a level that it makes my throat close up and my chest feels like it’s going to implode on itself.

Most days my throat has closed and the dead eye is because I just can’t feel anymore for that day.

Someday I will smile again, but not today, not this week, not this month….likely not this year.