I shit you not!
So I have been scorekeeping for about a month now at the local hockey rink. It’s a fun job, but it’s a part/part/part time thing and I do it mostly because it’s fun…not because I am making millions.
Tonight I was scorekeeping for a game and it started getting dirty. High sticking, slashing and tripping. During the 15 minutes of the game one guy (who always seems to be the target of getting beat the fuck up) gets a penalty for cross checking another player. The other player begins to circle around the two refs and the player that cross checked him and is doing the ‘wah-wah’ baby face and taunting him, “oooh, poor baby, you sad?”
The player just gets into the penalty box while the other guy is calling out names and trying to insult his mother. The refs call an unsportsman’s like conduct to the guy that cross checked him and all the sudden all hell breaks loose.
“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME!? HE CROSS CHECKED ME!” and now he’s the victim…seeming to forget he was just being a douche to the guy.
Now I have two players in the penalty box beside me and the two are going at each other with the stupidest insults I have heard.
“Oh yeah, your mother sucks…MY BIG DICK.” and then does some crude rocking motion with his hockey stick.
I’m trying to input the penalties and get the game restarted, but I can’t hear the refs calls.
I turn and look at the first guy, “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO INPUT THIS!” He shuts up.
I turn to the other guy, “YOU SHUT IT! I’M SICK OF HEARING IT!” and he is clearly on a roll with his ‘yo momma’ jokes and just rolls his eyes at me.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” and I go back to inputting the information in.
Just as I am about to get to the part where I find out of the penalty is a major or minor and how many minutes they both start up again, yelling at each other through the glass.
“ENOUGH! SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU OR I AM CHANGING THE PLAYLIST FOR THE REST OF THE GAME TO PLAY NOTHING BUT JUSTIN BEIBER AND I WILL TELL ALL THESE GUYS THAT YOU REQUESTED IT!”
It worked long enough for me to input the times and then they started up again.
“You’re stupid!” “No you’re stupid.”
The ref came up to me and was laughing because I went all old school mom on them. Hands on my hips, eyebrows raised and the look of ‘test me, child’ on my face.
“I can’t believe you threatened two grown adults with Justin Beiber.”
When the penalty time was up I yelled at both of them, “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PENALTY BOX AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!”
Come to find out the one guy who was all crazy, well he’s kind of crazy. I’m talking the batshit crazy variety of crazy.
He winked at me on the way out of the rink.
Officially creeped out now.