Something to be said about saying nothing at all…

There had to be a ‘one year’ mark.
I remember thinking, “Dear God, I wish it was like a year from now so I could be through all these feelings and crap and be over this!”
Hello One Year!
I had the moment the other night, sitting here in the same place I was when he walked out…and I thought, “HOLY FUCK, who would have EVER guessed all the things I would have become and experienced that night last year!?”

I didn’t want to let anyone ever love me again. I did.
I never wanted to trust my heart to someone else again. I did.
Never wanted to trust another person as long as I live. I am.
Didn’t want to sleep, in fear of the dreams. I sleep.
Didn’t want to move forward because I thought I would crumble. I DID NOT CRUMBLE!

This has been the most wonderful year of my whole life.  I owe that to the amazing people who have come into it. They say when you finally close a door, a window opens.
I think in this case, I closed the window … and a door opened.  That door just happened to be the door of an airplane and into a world of strong women, honest men and the only way to really NEVER take this life for granted.

I owe it to my amazing children.  I told Kara last night, “I am not only proud of you…I have PRIDE being your mother!”  Sometimes my whole body and heart just swells with the amount of pride I have for them.  Such amazing strength can be found in these three little girls.  Growing up to be gentle, warm hearted, smart, STRONG, funny little women!

So this is the last time I will mark the ‘date’ and recognize it.  There are better milestones with whole new dates in my future!