I wish I could write this in cursive with loops and hearts

Many of you know my little secrets.  I’ve never bought my own bra and because of it I don’t even really know what my bra size is.  I will re-dry my clothes because I only like folding hot laundry. I’ve busted out of two pairs of jeans in the last month. I can’t pick out foundation or mascara to save my life.

I caved in the other day when I ran out of the cute little samplers that come in Estee Lauder free make-up bags my mom gives me.
Longs Drugs is my new hang out. The people that work there have all the answers to the universe.  I called them the other day because I couldn’t find my keys…they told me to check my jacket pockets.
Last week I went in looking like hell…which isn’t out of the norm for me…and I asked, “I need mascara. I’m anti clumpy.”
The one woman looked up from stalking inventory and looked around for a supervisor before she answered, “There is this stuff.”
I felt like I was in the middle of a suburban drug deal. “Yeah.” I looked around again to see another worker moving in to the conversation.
“It’s this stuff by Loreal. It’s not clumpy, it doesn’t come off in flakes…it’s the best stuff I’ve ever used. In fact when you take it off…it comes off in one swipe.”  She was shaking her head ‘yes’ the whole time so I knew she was talking with conviction.
The other worker came up and continued on with the description, “Look at her eyelashes! They aren’t really that long!”
Glancing back at the woman I did notice she had exceptionally long lashes and the mascara wasn’t clumpy at all.
“You put the white stuff on first, then the black.  You can sleep in it and when you wake up, it looks exactly the same. No black smudge under your eyes.”

Now these woman are just talking crazy.  For as long as I have been wearing make up, I have been waking up looking like Gene Simmons after an all nighter.  I woke up once with mascara smudges all the way to the tip of my nose.

“How do you get it off then?” I quiz them.
“Put water on your eyes, count to 30 and then wipe it off…they come off looking like strings.”

Sold.

How can you resist that?

The awesome people at Long informed me that it was too expensive to buy there and to go somewhere else to get it.  When showing me where the bottle was, we found it was half off. 5 bucks for eyelash heaven? Double Sold.

I’m not about to claim it’s the best thing since sliced bread….noooooo…I’m claiming it’s better than toilet paper.  It’s better than Jolly Ranchers, Mint It’s-Its and the perfect pair of flip-flops.
Those women were not shitting me when they said it comes off in ‘strings’.  When I took it off later that night I followed their instructions and low and behold.  When I put the wash cloth under the water to rinse it off it rolled right off the damn thing!  No black smudges on my washcloth!

I even tested out sleeping with it on. Woke up the next morning like one of those women on the television after being in a coma for 2 weeks, but wake up with perfect make up.

If you’re in the market for really great mascara, I’m suggesting you get some Lorele Double Extend.  Now I’ve read some of the review and even watched a youtube video saying it sucked and it was hard to wash off.  Wrong. Follow my instructions that were handed down to me from the wise people at Longs.

And no, I am not getting free product for talking so highly of it…but if they want to send me a box to give out, i’m willing.  And if that happens, I’m going to review Captain Morgan Spiced Rum.