There are two types of cuddling people.
1. The obligatory cuddler. The act of cuddling goes no further than the time watching television and those moments (and when I say moments, I actually mean nano seconds) when you decide to go to sleep and while getting into position, it would appear rude to not hold your partner long enough for him or her to fall asleep.
2. The full blown cuddler. Cuddles during television and will often ‘nuzzle’ to get into better cuddling position and when it’s time for bed will cuddle long after both have fallen asleep. If their partners switches positions during sleep, the full blown cuddler will then switch positions to accommodate. This is usually done without even waking up.
With that said, Shaun is a obligatory cuddler and I am the full blown cuddler. Our worlds collided when we met and realized that each was on the other side of the cuddling bridge. During our marriage we have come to meet somewhere in the middle, but I believe it has taken it’s toll because some things have been altered in our cuddling DNA.
Me as a FBC no longer is a big ‘tv cuddler’. Shaun as the OC has built in anti-cuddling mechanisms…probably created when we first met and I over cuddled him.
I figured this out last night in a lame attempt at ‘sleep cuddling’. When Shaun falls asleep, it’s usually on his back…not optimal cuddling position. If I wait awhile he will soon flip with his back to me. Perfect cuddling position. His whole back is nice and warm and I’m the human ice berg. He will soon start to toss and turn, probably because his body temperature as dropped 20 degrees in less than 30 seconds.
Insomnia and I arm wrestled and had thumb wars until 3 am last night and by the time I finally was tired enough to pass out, the heater had been off for quite some time and my upper body was nearing hypothermia. There is only one way to get warm in this house and it’s either cuddle with Shaun or cuddle with Shea, they are both human furnaces. He was on his side; back to me; I moved in for the cuddle and like a wild animal he detected the movement and flopped on his back. I sat there for a moment waiting for him to find his spot. He turned his head away from me and I slowly slid my leg near his and scooted in. The second my cold arm hit his warm belly his face turned towards me.
Here would be a good time to mention the fact that I don’t like to be breathed on.
I was willing to suffer through the breathing on my forehead if it meant that I could draw some heat from his wickedly warm body…but then he began to snore and his body began to curl into a ball.
I had to pull away because I was pretty certain he was turning into one of those rolly pollie bugs that when faced with danger just ball up and roll away. This FBC had crossed the OC lines and his internal system was shutting down.
My foul mood this morning is being blamed on the fact that even though he has no recollection of the anti-cuddling, I’m still irritated. Much like I would be if I had a dream and he was cheating on me in it. I could hold a pissed off grudge over a dream for days! I’m still pissed off at my ex-husband for a dream I had nearly 15 years ago. Don’t believe me, ask him…he is randomly reminded of the dream when ever the debate of him paying child support comes up.
“Oh yeah! WELL YOU HAD DINNER WITH CARMEN ELECTRA AND WHEN I CALLED YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING DINNER WITH YOUR MOM!”
“and again, Kristine, that was just a dream you had…much like the dream of you getting your child support check on time.”
10 responses to “Internal Anti-Cuddling Mechanisms”
Oh Kristine, I have to disagree with you on the “optimal cuddling position”. One being on his back is ideal! We call it our ‘snuggle time’..(ok, quit shoving your finger down your throat now!!) Face to his chest, one leg slung over his, his arm around me drawing me in closer..it’s perfect! And we both enjoy this nightly! We also spoon but if I decide in the middle of the night to become the spooner, he immediately flips to his back and we get in our OCP once again :o) It’s WONDERFUL to finally be on the same cuddle/snuggle page with someone!
mwah bella!
oh, ps…and like you, I do not like to be breathed on either! ugh..haha!
Have to agree with Kristie, only it’s getting kind of difficult for me cause I’m almost 6 months pregnant right now. So I think I might have to try Kristine’s suggestion and give that one a try.
Also, I think you can totally hold grudges for things that happen in dreams. It’s like how I get mad when I get insomnia but my husband gets to sleep a full night. If I have to suffer, he should have to suffer, too, right?
Hi S!
I AM 6 months pregnant and I haven’t found the OCP difficult yet. Actually, it works even better for me because I can kind of prop/lean my belly on his a bit so I don’t have that droopy/pulling feeling..it gives support :o)
Congrats to you and your new little one!
~Kristie~
Oh…Hi Kristine *waving*
I am a serious Manditory Night Time Cuddler! But did I mention only in the Winter! My husband, as well, is a human furnace! In the winter I love him like mad! In the summer he knows to stay on his side of the room and don’t come near me! Not even when he is awake! But it sounds like we don’t cuddle like most! I will start off with my arm around him until I am ready for sleep, then I roll. His butt fits perfectly in the small of my back. (Ok I just had a very random thought, ok so is he a human furnace or a gas furnace? I never thought about it unitl now! OMFG!!) Ok enough with my random thought, I love cuddleing, we still walk hand in hand every where we go. It’s been 11 years, isn’t that supposed to stop by now?
My husband would cuddle all night long and all day long and well…it’s TOO DAMN MUCH! He is absolutely ridiculous about it. He will purposely climb into bed before me so he can lay diagonally and I have to practically give him the heimlech maneuver to get him out of my freaking way! Grrr…I only like cuddling with my children. It’s disgusting otherwise.
I am a FBC who is with another FBC. It makes it almost difficult to ever get anything done because you can’t be productive while in full body contact with another person. :)
I’m with an FBC…and he corners me all the time; everywhere. :)
I like cuddling; I just enjoy it so much more when it’s on my terms…ie. love cuddling while watching TV – it’s the perfect time!
As for sleeping, I don’t mind a little here and there; but I like my elbows to have room and not be restricted (I sleep on my stomach). :)
….hoping this makes sense to those avid FBC’ers!
this is one of the funniest things you have ever written….thanks so much
Maybe you can substitute one of those big pillows and an electric blanket?
I like to cuddle all the time, even when walking through the grocery store. It’s good if I’m a little taller, then I wrap my arms around and synchronize steps. I call it “walking position”.
normally I prefer to be much smaller than my partner, and being carried is so awesome.