Sh-sh-sh-she was shakin’!

Still getting use to this password protected part of the blog.  Still afraid of someone sneaking in and going, “AH-HA! I KNEW IT! You’re a HORRIBLE person!”

The past few days has driven this huge wedge between Shaun and I.
After what happened months ago, we decided to do whatever it was going to take to make it work between us.
You know how after you clean your house spotless and you walk around it like it’s a brand new house and you can actually hear birds chirping and the universe is on your side?
That was like our relationship after I finally let go and decided, “This is it, if I don’t give it this one shot, I’ll regret it.” so I decided it was Shaun and I against the world.

After what happened the other day, I fully expected my husband to be seriously annoyed by the fact that his ex-wife would go off on me and accuse me of ‘brainwashing’ her children and verbally attacking me, especially after he had just talked to her on the phone and told her to NOT IM me and if she wanted to talk to me, she was going to have to do it face to face.
The strange thing is, he didn’t.  He made it sound like it was MY fault because I was so pissed off that ‘things got twisted because it was done through a yahoo message.’
In one breath it’s not my fault, the next it is.

I emailed him and told him that I fully understand how he hates to be in the middle of things, but I was done dealing with her.  I know there is at least 3 more years of Marina being a minor and we will HAVE to deal with her, but I’m done with her feeling like she has any right to verbally abuse me and talk shit about me to my friends.

Yesterday Tabitha called me and being that my new phone doesn’t have all my numbers in it, I answered it. She said, “Hey, Marina needs pads so I am having Tyler run in to pick her up some! M-Kay *giggle*”  as if nothing has happened between the two of us. I just said, “Uh-okay.”
She had to pass FIVE stores to get to my house and she couldn’t even spend money to buy her daughter some pads?

Last night, Marina called me, “Can you please come pick us up? Mom’s been drinking and she doesn’t want to drive.” So I drove over and picked her and Tyler up.  Tabitha came up to my window and clearly wanted to start some drama completely unrelated to the drama she had with me. I rolled down the window and said, “Oh, good.” turned away from her and informed her that there was room for Tyler to sit in the front seat.  I think she got the point because she thanked me and walked away.

Shaun told me this year ago; She gets all fired up about something, but then the next day she’s fine and then she just finds something else to obsess on and her beef with the last person/cause is over.
That’s fine and dandy for people who her anger isn’t pulsating at for the 24 hours.  I’m sorry, I can’t be that person for her once every couple of months. It pisses me off because I don’t do anything to deserve it.

So, now there is this wedge that has turned into a wall between Shaun and I.  He wants to know what “my plan” is. I don’t have a plan. I just know I don’t want to deal with her BS anymore and that means I don’t want her in my face. I don’t want her to think I am doing her a single favor ever again.
I can’t reward that kind of behavior. She’s like dealing with a teenager on PMS and i’m sorry, I’m currently already raising 2 pmsy teenagers, I don’t need another one that has a two year old.

I’m frustrated, and I am getting ‘numb’.  That’s not the safest place for me to be though, because once I don’t give a shit anymore, there is no turning back.

I’ll write more tomorrow on the fact that I don’t even feel attractive. I will have to Wikipedia the definition of ‘romance’ so I can go into detail of the lack of it.