Random and Odd

I’ve lost hope

Since the beginning of July I have been suffering from bladder infections.
They believed the bladder infection had gone to my kidneys. They did a CT scan and didn’t find anything unusual.
I’ve been on 3 different meds to fix the problem, and none of them have worked. I’ve spent over 400 bucks in visits to specialists and medication and the only answer I get is, ‘here, try this doctor.’ and none of them have worked.
The mental drain from this is killing me. I feel like I am being pulled out into a sea of wrong answers.

People keep saying, “Just keep going on…you’re strong.”  I’m not strong.

I’m tired of trying to be strong. I’m tired of being strong and then losing it.  I’m tired of my husband wanting to try to make it better, but he can’t.

I thought THIS doctor would be able to keep digging until he found the problem, but he has pawned me off on an OBGYN.  I’ve done this, I’ve seen these doctors. She’ll send me to a specialist, and he will send me to the next specialist and then back to the OBGYN.

I am not strong enough to handle this. I’m tired of my kids seeing me do nothing but lay here in pain.

I’ve lost hope. Yeah, me. Lost hope.