Dear Mom,

Hi, It’s me, Kristine again.  I’m sure you know why I am writing you.  The children are driving me crazy and I blame all of it on you now.

The angst in this house is so thick I can cut it with a butter knife.  I can’t take it anymore! Mother, please…I beg of you…stop with the wicked laughter, your voodoo dolls and the tossing of chicken bones into a stone bowl.   CALL OFF THE CURSE.

If you are unwilling to call off the whole curse can you at LEAST do some sort of reversal magic that will allow the teenagers in this house to stop with the whiny voices, the pouty faces, and the words. OH DEAR GOD…THE WORDS!  “Geez!” “GOD!” “WHATEVER!” “YOU SAID!” “DID NOT!” “YES HUH!” “YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR OVER AN HOUR!” “MOM!” “DAD!” “KRISTINE!” “CAN I?” “WHY NOT?” “OMGYOULOVEHER/HIMMORETHANYOULOVEME!!!”

I know you’re not calling off the part of the curse where they steal..er…MISPLACE all MY stuff or use my room as the room that is the catch-all of all crap that doesn’t belong in any other room.
I probably deserve that part of the curse.
But Mom, for reals. We need to talk about the asking for money and EXPECTING ME TO HAND IT OVER part of the curse. You did not mention this when you cursed me with children just like me.

This girlie is so ready for the boys to start calling.  Big stick by the front door.  I’m also ready to deal with the not-to-clean cut friends that happen to have cars.  I’m even ready for the part where she THINKS her ass is going to sneak out this house. I AM READY. BRING IT ON.
Until then though…what the hell is this purgatory you have me sitting in?  this angsty, life sucks, do i really have to do my chores? I want to live with the other parent part of the curse?

STOP WITH THE ANGST.   Mother. Please. Cut me some slack. It’s only fair, I have your panic disorder gene and I also have your ass. THAT was not a part of the deal either. What in the world did I ever tell you that would curse me with your ass?

Okay, that is all for now.
Love,
Kristine- your ever so humble and loving daughter