“Ugly…Double Ugly”

Getting to know me (Part One):

“What is your biggest fear?”

Being a parent, my biggest fear is losing my children.
That one is a given. That one is probably the reason my hair is falling out and I am a giant stress ball all the time.

My second is losing my parents. It’s weird, when I write that, I lump my sister in with my mom and dad. I have three other siblings that I love very much and would be hurt beyond words if anything ever happened to them, but I would be LOST if something happened to Kathy. She’s my hero, my role model, my best friend…and I am getting ALL worked up thinking about losing her and that isn’t what this post is about.

Hold on, let me get these stupid tears out of my eyes so I can write about the greatest grandpa that ever walked the planet.

Grandpa wasn’t ‘paw-paw’ or ‘G-pa’ or ‘PoPo’ or ‘pop’. He was ‘grandpa’. He was a no-frills, no shit type of guy. He was my favorite guy growing up.
He was, of course the biggest man I had ever seen. I think he was a normal sized man, but to me…bigger than life.

It’s super hard to write about him because I get all choked up. I miss him. I wish he could have met my girls.
He would have loved them so much!
He would have gotten a kick out of each one of them because each one of them has such a huge part of my personality.

He would have loved Kara because they would have sat there and talked and played games like we use to do. He would tease her about something, and she would tease him right back.

He would have pampered Alyx because he was good at that. He was good at making you feel like you were so special and his very favorite grandchild. Grandpa’s house was always a welcomed trip, and Alyx would have wanted to live there.

He would have gotten a kick out of Shea. He would be out in the boat fishing with her and showing her how to put a worm on her hook and LAUGHING at her many facial expressions.

I was lucky to have my grandpa for as long as I did. I got to do those things with him.

What makes me sad is that my girls ‘Grandpa’ is still alive. He could be asking if we could come up and stay with him for weekend so he can sit and talk to them, play games, pamper, go fishing…
He loves them SO very much and sends them anything they need.
I just wish he would make more of a fuss about wanting to see his ‘babies’.
When my mom is having her ‘grandbaby’ withdrawals she starts bitchen about not seeing them and either comes and sees them or makes me bring them up there.

I want them to have memories of both my mom and dad. I want my girls to be able to sit down at their blog when they are 32 years old, have kids and be will able to remember stories of their grandparents like I have my grandpa.

My sister will have to tell you about Grandma Helen because I was 9 months old when she died…Kathy is Grandma Helen’s FAVORITE granddaughter. I can’t even try for that title.

Grandpa: “Ugly, go get the dominos.”
Me: “I’m just going to beat you again —Double Ugly.”

And then he would laugh.