Blogging Saint?

Dear Heavens NO, i’m no blogging saint.

I share a lot of my anxiety issues, even though I have a couple posts sitting in my folder just waiting to be posted, but then after I read them I think, “What a bummer, It makes me sound like my life just sucks and it doesn’t really suck. The parts that suck is the part where I can’t control the ‘fight or flight’ issues my body has”.

The stuff I don’t blog about has to do with people in my life that I refuse to write about because of the drama that would follow if I even hinted that I had any problems what so ever. It’s just better for me to just stand back and let those people go about their lives and hopefully I don’t get caught in the crossfire.  Who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter…i’m going to get nailed in the head with the crossfire and then somehow get blamed for it.

Many of the reasons you don’t ‘let it all out’ on your blog are all the same reasons I don’t.  I can’t sit here and complain about Shaun. You know, like the fact that he doesn’t take out the trash in the bedroom and bathroom when it’s full. How sometimes he pisses me off and I want to bash him the back of the head with a large blunt object.  He reads this. He will then respond with ‘big rolling eyes’ and then complain about how I couldn’t get around the kitchen if I had a map.
That’s not the problem though.  It’s just the whole being a step mom thing and the frustrations that come with it.
Whenever you’re with someone that has been married that have kids, you’re now involved in a relationship with that person to.  Sometimes the relationship is good. Sometimes it’s not so good.  Sometimes you THINK it’s good and then you find out that you thought that person liked you and that’s not really the case at all.

Now, Dan…my ex. How frustrating is THAT?  I would kill me if I were Shaun.  Dan and I get along so well.  I can hang out with him and I can also tell him, “Why are you still sitting in my house? Go home!”  He just laughs at me and knows I love him. Shaun and I don’t have to tip toe around Dan because he’s full active his kids lives and he knows that no matter how funny, nice, supportive and a role model he is to my brats, he’s not their dad.
I’m also a friggin’ hypocrite.  I love the relationship that I have with my ex, but i’m uncomfortable with the relationship that Shaun has with his.   See, even writing that is going to land my ass in so much hot water that I am going to have to deal with that for months.  I like the relationship we all have together and I don’t want to give that up.

Blogging Saint? I think not. Human? yes.