You better watch your step, or your gonna get hurt yourself

Child: Alyx
Diagnosis: Water warts
Treatment: Beetle Juice on the water warts. The ‘warts’ will boil up and go away.

Child: Shea
Diagnosis: Spider Bite on her toe.
Treatment: bottle of stuff that knocks her out and steriod cream for her toe. (She will soon have a Popeye toe!)

Child: Kara
Diagnosis: Mole on top of her hand that I have always called her ‘Angel Kiss’ now looks like an ‘Angel Hickey’ needs to be removed.
Treatment: Remove the mole and have a funeral for it.

Child: Tyler
Diagnosis: Possible pinched nerve in his neck from doing the high jump in PE
Treatment: Beat the hell out of the PE teacher for making children do high jumps and hopefully some bottles of medicine that will cause hallucinations.

Child: Marina
Diagnosis: Not getting enough attention and not able to stay home like all the other kids.
Treatment: Take her for a Starbucks strawberry thing she likes and tell her how much I love her and how happy I am that she’s not sick (even though she called her Dad today to see if he could come get her because she ‘wasn’t feeling good.’)

4 out of 5 children in the doctor this week…because 17 dentist appointments LAST month wasn’t enough!!