• Random and Odd

    Airing out the dirty laundry…

    One of the millions of reasons I love living so close to San Francisco is that we can throw a few kids in the van and drive down for the day on last minutes notice.

    The girls had a dance on Friday and Kara looked out of this world beautiful, Click Here and agree with me. Saturday we gathered all the girls and each of them brought a friend with them for a ‘coast trip’.
    These trips are normally fun because we just drive until we see the ocean and start squealing until Shaun can take it any longer and pulls over.
    Half way there, I decided I wanted to see Coit Tower.  It has been about a million years since I had been there.  I remembered being able to see the whole city and what an awesome place to it would be to bring the girls to.
    I remember as a teenager being driven up there in a limo when I had gone to my friend Bron Sullivan’s prom.   This time…we didn’t drive.   Shaun, being the evil son of bitch he is, thought we should take the stairs.

    Looking up it didn’t seem to bad.  I mean, how many steps could it be? I could see the tower from the street.   You wanna know how many steps there are? A FUCKINTRIBILLION.  You wanna know how many times I had to stop and convince myself that I was certainly not going to die? You wanna know how many times I kicked myself in the ass for agreeing to this? You wanna know how many times I wanted to shove a Nikon D70  up Shaun’s ass?  A FUCKINGTRITRILLION.

    Was it worth it? I don’t know. I hurt today so bad that I can’t bend my knees when I walk. The muscles on the back of my legs feel like I shoved lemons under the skin. KNOTS THAT BIG!

    We then went to Haight and Ashbury.  When did this place become a little soho?  Where did all the stoned street performers go?  Where did the cool shops with funky jewelery go?  Everything was overpriced and the smell of pot no longer lingered out the smoke shops.  It was lame and I was so sorry for my poor, teenage children that they will never know the real Haight and Ashbury as it was before Apple and Starbucks bought it.

    We ended the trip off to Pier 39.  Of course, we couldn’t escape the lure of the mini donuts. twice.   Kara insisted we watch the performer that does magic tricks. She got pulled on to stage, as did Shaun. THOSE pictures have to be edited before I can upload them. Kara did a cute duck call trick, but in a separate part of the show Shaun had to hold the pole for the tight rope walker.  I promised Shaun I wouldn’t put the ones up of her 54 year old crotch up on his head or the one where she is feeling him up without his approval.  I mean, come on…isn’t that what you do in a marriage? You don’t embarrass your husband with pictures like that.  Would you?  Okay, raise your hand if you would put pictures of an old lady using your husband as a latter to get on the tight rope?  Keep raising your hand if that woman was wearing a dress?  Keeeeeep raising them if you had a picture of riding his head and pulling his hair?
    Put your hand down.
    Now raise your hand if you’re going to PayPal me some money to help pay for my divorce.  Come on, I just told the whole internet that my husband had old person snatch on his head.

    And then on to the part of the story that won’t get me smothered while I sleep;  Today I am paying the price for all the fun we had yesterday.  The only reason I am still typing and not rolling around in pain is because the warmth of the laptop on my legs is keeping me from screaming.

  • Random and Odd

    SPF: Free

    I’m half way way to being free of the things that make me anxiety ridden…or at least I hope.

    Did you play?

    It’s easy, post ONE picture that is ‘FREE’ to you. Go on, get your camera. I know you have one.

    PLAY DAMN IT!

  • Random and Odd

    All Day Blogging…

    6:48 am – I woke up sixteen minutes after 6 am. I think the last time I woke up that early was my wedding day. COFFEE. Did you know that EVERYTHING is sixteen times louder when a baby is sleeping?

    In case you missed the message I left about your LOVELY advice about not eating Play-Doh, sniffing butts and hiding under the covers. You realize I’m not a dog right? Okay, good. Just checking.

    7:07 am – SECOND cup of coffee down. I am watching the sun rise over the hill in the backyard. Did you know, and this is going to be SHOCKING to some of you, the news has traffic reports every 15 minutes? FUH-KING GENIUS, now if only the people IN TRAFFIC had cable hooked up in their car. It’s cool though. Shaun will be getting a call every 15 minutes for the next hour to get traffic reports. I am such a good wife.

    7:51 am – On my second load of laundry. The two cups of coffee have eaten a hole in my stomach. JB is up and watching Teletubies. It’s been years since we’ve had PBS on this early and Alyx looked at me and in the most serious face said, “Mom, I think Poe has lost weight.”

    8:10 am – Alyx and Shea are home for the first part of the day because of dentist appointments and they are helping out. I might not let them go back to school. ever.
    Oh, and in the brief second I got to watch of normal TV, I learned something; Don’t do drugs. That reminds me, need to refill my prescriptions.

    11:22 am – After two dentist appointments and dropping 3 kids off at 2 different schools, I’m home! JB fell asleep in his car seat about a minute and half before I pulled in the driveway. I put him on my bed and he stayed asleep. How much more of this blissful silence will I be graced with?
    If he can learn to sleep through my typing, CNN and the dog barking then this will be a walk in the park.
    Question; he’s sleeping on my super high bed and I have to pee. I have to hold it right?

    11:55 am – Not kidding here people. GOT TO PEE!

    1:17 am – I finally got to pee. Damn I’m tired. More coffee? (Yes, I held it THAT long)

    2:10 pm – Lunch was SO good. it was left over spaghetti from last night. JB wore more than he ate.
    The dog FINALLY came in handy today.
    Now it’s Sesame Street time. Dear Lord, THANK YOU for PBS! I will forgive you for the Barney show, as long as you never get rid of Sesame Street. Muppets, Puppets, songs, colors, cartoons, letters and The Count. Can life get any better than RIGHT now?

    3:22 pm – I have decided to Tivo Sesame Street.  I am amazed by my ability to hold so much information in my head at one time. Row. Row. Row Your Boat. 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.MOM!SHEAHASMYBARBIE. This update brought to you by the number 9.

    3:23 pm – Who the hell is the new guy that is the potential daddy to Anna Nicole Smith’s baby? Row. Row. Row your boat. HALO DOWN!  Only 3 more hours.  Pictures to follow.

  • Random and Odd

    Fuh-read-om ??

    This has been the best Valentine’s Day in all Valentine’s Day history.  It wasn’t because of what I got, but who we spent it with.

    Shaun invited ‘Cita and her kids, Kyle and Kianna for dinner.  He then invited his sister and brother law and their daughter, Jessie.  We also had our kids, Tabitha and little JB (I call him that because I know it bugs her…i’m  evil like that.)

    It was awesome being surrounded by my friends and family in my home. I’m not the big entertainer. In fact, I suck at it.  This was SO awesome though.  My house was actually big enough to fit even more people than I thought could.  Shaun managed the kitchen and I made sure the couch didn’t hit the ceiling.  Everyone seemed to be relaxed and enjoying themselves.  BEST Valentine’s Day EVER.   Thank you Shaun, not for the beautiful flowers, but the beautiful people you fill my house with.

    Now I kick back and wait for my first day being JB’s day care lady that starts tomorrow morning.  I am a ‘day care’ person now.  Personally I think there is a better name for it and I am pretty certain you will all come up with a name for me, or it will hit me while I am dodging a baby cookie (which I have found turn to cement after they make contact with baby saliva)

    American Idol:  Dude with curly hair and wicked sense of humor.  Right now, my favorite.

    SPF:  FREE.  You can take this one and run with it or just find the word ‘free’…what sets you free?  have fun with this.

    Any advice for me? It’s been 8 years since I have taken care of baby.  EIGHT years.  *knocking on monitor* hello? DELURK and give me some damn advice!

  • Random and Odd

    Happy Valentine’s Day

    This day is a sucky ass commercialized day…but if you don’t have a Valentine, I have a special place in my blog heart for you; so just say the word and I will send you strippers dripping in chocolate.  Or just virtual chocolate. If you’re lactose intolerant I’ll just send you flowers. If you have allergies, then I will have to send jewelery.  If you have metal allergies…well, you’re life pretty much sucks and I will just have to send you a Valentine’s Day hug…or strippers.

    And how much would it suck to start your period on Valentine’s day?

  • Random and Odd

    I’m a Wee-Tawd.

    I have thee worst luck with glasses. I’m the last person that will spend more than 10 dollars for a pair because I lose them.
    I’ve lost 3 pairs of prescription glasses in the past 10 years.  I don’t know if this is common, but to me it just sounds stupid. Why spend SO much money on glasses that you KNOW you’re going to lose?

    When Tabitha moved in she brought a pair of ‘back up glasses’ because the bastards that robbed her, also broke her glasses, knocking a lens out and under the car.   She MUST have her glasses because without them she can’t see at all.  I don’t have that problem, I wear glasses because I see better with them on.
    Because I had to make Tabitha an appointment to get new glasses, I figured I would make an appointment for myself.

    I’m now a ‘glasses’ wearer.

    ‘Cita and I went out the other night and I was SO impressed with the fact that I made it from the car to the place without getting a single drop of rain on my glasses.  When it comes to care of glasses, I’m not exactly the example you should follow. I usually take the glasses off and rub them on my shirt to remove smudges or rain drops.
    I also toss them in my purse when I loose the eyeglass case holder after 1 week of owning one.  This is exactly what I did once I got in the place. I took off the glasses and tossed them in my purse. I did check on them a few times during the night to make sure they didn’t fall out.

    At the end of the night, I pulled out my glasses and manged to make it all the way out to the car without getting a single drop of rain on them. SCORE!

    When I got home, I took off the glasses and was shocked, “Oh My God, I lost a lens out of my glasses!” I am thinking I am a dumbass for just putting them in my purse and not taking better care of them.
    “Oh My God. I lost BOTH lenses!”  I am putting my fingers through the holes that once housed two perfectly good lens.

    That when I saw the inside of the glasses, it had a very cool design on them.  “Hmm. I don’t remember that design being there before.”   And then it hits me AND Shaun.  He asked me, “You are NOT wearing Tabitha’s glasses are you?”

    I had picked up Tabitha’s broken glasses and wore them all night not knowing the difference between MY glasses and a pair without lenses in them.

    No one in this house is letting me live that one down either.

  • Random and Odd

    Squishy Faces

    The house is crazy again with all of moving about and trying to find our places and find room.  The ants that have invaded our house are rejoicing that Tabitha and the baby are back because that means microscopic chunks of baby biscuits will be left around for them to attack in masses.
    The first thing I hear every morning is Jeremiah laughing or getting pissed. It’s a great sound to wake up to.  When my snarly self makes it to the kitchen where Tabitha is shuffling about, the first thing I hear is, “GIRL THESE ANTS!” and then the story of what part of the house was attacked while we slept.

    Things are still crazy in my private world.  I am still coming to terms with it and asking myself many questions.  Having the baby here just makes me look at the whole picture that is my life and how somethings are more important than others.

    Last night, Tyler had a dance with a ‘new’ girl he likes. It was interesting introducing ourselves to her mother;
    “Hi, I’m Tabitha, Tyler’s mom.”
    “HI, I’m Kristine, Tyler’s step-mom.”
    You know people have to think we have some crazy, twisted relationship after you hear, “Yes, I’m living with my ex-husband and his new wife’s house.  Me and the baby. No, the baby isn’t his. Oh, no…we are getting along great!”

    Tabitha and I dropped him and his lovely date off for dinner and then went to my little, hole in the wall hangout of yesteryear.  It felt good to sit back and laugh with her. She had me almost peeing my pants when she leaned over and said, “I finally figured out who that girl (across the bar) looks like!  Remember the black guy that was dressed up as the white girl in ‘White Chicks’?”
    It took a second, but after Tabitha did her impression; “OMG Tiffany, we were such a hit in the Hamptons!” I started laughing because she was so right.  This poor woman looked like a black man impersonating a white chick.  Every time she spoke to us I had to use all my will power not to laugh…she even SOUNDED like the girl/guy.

    And now on to the fun stuff. I have to make an appointment with my doctor to figure out what the hell is going on with my bald spots.
    The last time I was there and I was telling him about how many kids I had and then how I was now watching my niece, he thought I had lost my mind.   He insisted that I shouldn’t take anymore stuff on until I got my anxiety worked through.
    I am almost afraid to tell him, “Oh yea, and by the way I am now going to be watching my husband’s ex-wife’s son who is not even a year old during the day while she goes back to work and gets back on her feet.”
    I’m sure he might strangle me with his stethoscope.  I’m not going to tell him that she’s living here.  He will squish my head with his massive hands.

    Last, but not least…I’m going to remind you every single post this week that 48 hours THIS SATURDAY will have the updated Christie Wilson story.  If you have Tivo…GO RECORD IT. If you don’t…I will be reminding you nearly almost everyday to watch it.  The 48 hours crew was very supportive to Christie’s family and we want to repay them by watching the show they put together.  Thanks everyone for hanging with me on this one…and all that I go through.

  • Random and Odd

    Holy Shit and so forth!

    Anna Nicole Smith died.

    Kami broke the news to me over Yahoo Messenger and it went something like this:

    Kami: Anna Nicole Smith died.
    Me: No!
    Kami: Yes!
    Me: NO!
    Kami: YES!
    Me: NO FUCKING WAY!
    Kami: WAY!

    After 2 hours of the same conversation over and over again she reminded me that I didn’t have anything up for SPF:

    Sooo,

    SOMETHING RED

    Please leave a comment for upcoming weeks of SPF suggestions.

    Thank you Kami for this weeks suggestion. If anyone is interested my Yahoo IM is Kristine_Seguin and if you have Yahoo, add me to your friends list.  Just let me know you’re a reader of R&O when you IM me. I keep getting men from other countries trying to get me to marry them for a green card.

  • Random and Odd

    babyback, babyback, babyback…

    Tabitha (Shaun’s ex-wife) and Jeremiah (her 10 month old baby boy) are coming home today.  Colorado just wasn’t their thing, which is fine with me, because her kids missed her madly and I know Shaun and I missed her and the baby.

    On a mission tonight I bought him the most grand car seat the world has ever seen.
    We got it home and pulled out the 500 page manual on how to get it adjusted and car ready.

    This was going to be his ‘big boy car seat’ that he would climb in and love like no other child has loved a car seat.

    I got into my minivan and like a magical wizard I began adjusting straps and making sure that thing was strapped in with all the safety requirements in check.

    I then got into the front seat and realized…this seat was clearly made for diesel 18 wheelers. It was Ginormous! We couldn’t even see out my rear view window with it strapped in.  Shaun had made a comment on the size of the box when I got it home and I ignored him because…well, I don’t like it when Shaun talks.  When I took it out of the box it didn’t look THAT big.

    Frustrated we took it back to Target and had to go find a substandard sized one. I was pissed because I liked the one that Shaun liked to call the ‘Recliner’ of all car seats.

    We found one that would work better, not only in my van, but in her Mustang. Because of the price difference we found a exsosauser that bounces and makes lots of annoying sounds.

    Marina spent a lot of time putting it together with love and tenderness for her baby brother. Shaun and I put the car seat in and now I am ready to head to the airport to pick up my friend and lil’ mister man.

    I also put the table corner things on so when he smacks his forehead on the table 39 times in one day, his bruising will be only minor.

    We drug the swing and high chair out of the garage. Our home is once again cluttered with baby toys and accessories. We couldn’t be happier to have it all out again.

    Is this the most ideal time for them to come back? Probably not.   There is no way that I am NOT going to invite them back into my home though,  they are family.