Once a year I let Shaun take pictures of me. I’m thee worst model. He took a bunch of pictures and I deleted too many to count. I’m the worst smiler. I have this fake smile that I can’t help but making. When I am not fake smiling, I am making THIS face. Pretty huh?

Those are not only the reasons I hate my picture taken. Teeth are jacked. Band-aids on my fingers. Muffin Top rolling over my pants. Double chins. Ass taking a huge part of the picture. Do I need to keep going on or do you get it?

Those issues are not only ruining my modeling career. They are ruining my sex life. It wasn’t until Pissy and RSG were visiting that I even muttered those words out loud. Since then, I have had this conversation with close friends and I found out I am not alone.
About 6 years ago I read this article about ‘What guys are really thinking about during sex’. The thing that made me feel better was; “We are not thinking about how you look, we are just happy to be having sex’
Then I was faced with this question, ‘How can they not? this is what they look at see on tv, the internet, in magazines EVERY SINGLE DAY.’

So when I am laying there I am thinking, “If I lay on my back, it spreads out. If I am on my side it pools to the front. The tits look great like this, but the stomach is going to look like I am pregnant.” I can’t help these thoughts. And the roaming hands…”Shit, he just felt the back fat. TURN OFF.”

Somewhere during this whole ‘warming up’ process I have lost consciousness because I tried sucking in all my junk and forgot to breathe.

I know i’m not alone. That’s comforting, but it’s not the thing I want to be thinking during *wiggling eyebrows*. “It’s okay, Kristine…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”

And that is your once in 3 years post about sex. Or the fear of nakedness.

*turning off light*