An Open Letter…

Dear Brutha in the early 90’s midnight blue Mustang on Interstate 5,

I’m guessing that when you pulled up RIGHT on my ass when we were caught in slow traffic, you didn’t know you would scare the living bejesus out of me. That’s okay, I just didn’t see you fly up on me…it happens.
When you kept riding my ass for 3 miles knowing I was caught behind a redneck in Taurus and 4 18 wheelers it started to bug me, but I was listening to Carly Simon and didn’t let it bother me.
When you rode up RIGHT under my bumper and then swerved between the two eighteen wheelers and blew past the redneck and weaved back into traffic causing everyone to have to slam on their brakes…you then pissed me off.
It’s okay…there were lots of thing you didn’t know about the mild mannered, middle aged woman in the 05′ Mustang.
I’m sure you didn’t know that in my collection of 70’s music I had AC/DC’s Highway To Hell tucked in there.
I’m sure that you didn’t know I can read facial expressions and the Redneck said with his eyebrows, “You ain’t really gunna let that bastard get away with that?”
I’m pretty sure you didn’t know that even though my hair was pulled back in a bun, when the clippie comes off I am a bad ass mutha fucker with horse power under the hood.
I’M 100% sure you didn’t know I am an Aries and I always have to win.
So when the traffic cleared and I caught up with you doing 85 mph and I slowed down and smiled at you, i’m sure you didn’t know that if I just give the gas a tiny little bit of pressure I could be doing 120 mph in 5 seconds flat.

I’m sorry if I made you look like a total idiot to the woman in the seat next to you.

There’s a few other things I’m pretty certain you didn’t know about me either. When you caught up with me 10 miles up the road and I was doing 72 mph and you pulled up next to me, you didn’t know that I had switched to the calming tunes of Al Green. When you tried to egg me into racing you again you didn’t know that I have driven 1-5 for the last 15 years 4 times a month.

You didn’t know that there is always a cop on the on ramp of the rest area about 2 miles up the road.
Did you know that all traffic fines are doubled in construction zones?

It’s okay, you can have the last laugh…

Did you know that in a couple of hours I have to hand the keys back to the nice guy at Hertz and get back into my minivan?

I didn’t think so.

Best of Everything,

The woman in the BAMF Mustang on 1-5.