“…and then we tango.”

My ex is on his way over to bring the girls Starbucks. He use to do this all the time, but now it’s dwindled down to a couple of caffeinated visits a month.
He stopped asking me what I want. Not because he cares to remember, but because he’s ‘mad’ at me.

We dance. My ex and I have this dance we do. It’s the much like an ugly tribal dance at times, but mostly it’s like a Waltz.
It took years to perfect this dance we do. I’m sure you all know the steps;

Step one: he does something of monumental proportion that pisses me off.
Step two: I advance a step towards him and tell him off.
Step three: He backs up and after a dramatic spin, he laughs and begins advancing towards me.
Step four: I look at him like he’s stupid…because he is…and I tell him how it REALLY happened in the world WE all live in.
Step five: He threatens me financially…SOMEHOW.
Step six: I end up in tears.
Step seven: he wins.

I figured if I got this loan, built up my credit, refinance the house…I could be rid of him being able to do that. Dan and I met when I was 18 years old. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed we would end up married with three kids living in suburb-hell. I also never would have guessed that I have just about as much financial freedom as I did when I was 18. none.
This loan was going to change things.

Then I got the loan papers. I have to pay off his State Taxes before they will give me my money. It’s not a couple hundred dollars. It’s not just a couple thousand dollars either.
When I brought this up to him, he didn’t seem to concerned at all. In fact he felt he was OWED this to him. I should have to pay this for him.

We did that dance. We got to step 7, but I added a new step to it.

Step 8: I turn to Shaun who then gives me a hug and says it’s going to be okay, we will work it all out together and someday this will be all over.

Step 9: I win.