I’m calling dibs on being the 600 lb man!!

Everyone knows that ‘those people on the internet’ are either serial killers, pedophiles, stalkers, naked college web cam operators or a 600 lb man.

It’s roughly 17 days before I invite two internet strangers into my home for a week.

With everything I have going on in my world right now, it’s a blessing that I am lucky enough to have Stephanie and Kathryn flying in from different parts of the US to come hang out with me. I am not going to be taking my time with these two awesome women for granted.

They fly in on Thursday night, Sept 1. By the time they get here it will be too late to take them to bingo so I will have to drag them to the bar and plow them with booze so when they get to the house they don’t care they are sleeping on two twin size beds with Bratz, Polly’s and Spongebob posters staring down at them.

That’s all I have so far. I have 17 days to make the best itinerary the internet has ever seen. I do know that the day before they leave will be devoted to me begging them to stay.

I’m always open for suggestions on how to entertain a recovering straight girl and a southern pissy britches. I thought maybe a Maxim magazine and a bag of sunflower seeds, but this is their vacation after all. I might want to put more thought into it.