Going back in time…

On Charlottes blog yesterday she asked the question, “if you could go back in time and have lunch with someone, who would it be and why?”

I’ve been thinking about my answer. My answer (on of the 5) was Me. I would go back and tell myself to pull my shit together earlier on in life.
Then I started thinking about the smaller things too.
I think my conversation would go something like this:

“Lay off the big hair.”
“All those potatos will come back in your late 20’s to haunt you.”
“Don’t talk to boys on motorcycles.”
“Take off the jacket, it doesn’t matter how many layers you have on…the boys know you don’t have titties.”
“Don’t smoke that.”
“Don’t smoke that either.”
“Math is your friend.”
“You’re not going to marry Richie Sambora.”
“Using the words, ‘I’ll just nigger rig it’ will get your ass kicked in certain circles…it’s not a ‘official term’ even though your dad said every single day of your life.”
“When mom says, ‘you’re going to marry someone just like your father’ just slap the shit out of her right there on the spot.”
” ‘Crack of Dawn’ is NOT a good screen name in chat rooms.”
“Insisting ‘he has a side you don’t know about…a gentle, sweet side’ isn’t going to make your friends like him anymore.”
“Don’t wash a pain killer down with a Jack Daniels and Coke.”
“Being a Raider and Kings fan will only bring you heartache.”
“Epidural. Insist on a epidural upon walking into the labor and delivery room.”
“Dude, FLOSS…it’s going to save you THOUSANDS of dollars.”
“Birth control…it’s going to save you THOUSANDS of dollars.”
“When your oldest talks about vibrators…go whine about it to the internet, it will make things SO much funnier.”

and you?