a broken back makes for a boring blogger

I HAD to get out of the house yesterday. There is only so much staring out the window and watching the weeds grow that I could handle.

I crawled in and out of the shower and managed to blow dry my hair in a four part series. I crawled to the closet and found my bag that my makeup was in. I crawled up into bed and put on makeup. When Shaun got home I looked like the woman he fell in love with instead of the broken zombie that came back from Redding.

After MUCH convincing that I was ‘okay’ he let me go bye-bye with him to drop the kids off at their mom’s this weekend. We went to dinner and then to a movie. I got to see “The Longest Yard”. BEST.MOVIE.EVER. shut up. I’m a sucker for football movies where people get slammed to the ground and smoke on the field. I wanted to watch it again after it was over.

I stood up and remembered WHY I had been in bed all week. I couldn’t walk down the stairs. The bathroom was a million miles away from our theater and I had to pee like a mutha. Do you know how hard it is to move fast to get your pants down when your back is OUT? Shooting pain up my back on a cold toilet seat. I have figured out what Satan will do to me if I go to hell for all eternity.

Shaun took me to the Almond Tree before the movie. This was my hangout for a couple of years during college. I spent Wednesday and sometimes Thursday there during karaoke nights. It’s a bar that mostly the older crowd frequents. When I say ‘older’ I mean…like 60-80 year olds. I don’t care. I love watching the older people get out there and dance to “Mustang Sally” and hang out with the regulars.

I was greeted with, “HOW HAVE YOU BEEN!?” and I felt just as welcome as always. I got to say hi to “Queen Bitch” who I met one night many years ago when I accidentally sat in her ‘spot’ in the smoking section outside. She was as blunt to say,
“Dear, you’re going to have to move because I have been sitting in this spot every Friday night for the last 15 years and I don’t care to move. I am the queen bitch around here.” Instead of being offended, I moved my ass right over to the spot next to her and she has always treated me with respect since. I greet her with, “HELLO QUEEN BITCH!” and she gets a huge smile on her face and invites me to sit with her and she asks me where I have been and what I have seen.”

Jerry is the musical entertainment at the Almond Tree. He has been playing there forever. On Wednesday and Thursdays he runs the karaoke. On Friday & Saturday he sings.
He has worn his signature black hat and vest every time I have seen him. He ALWAYS asks about my mother and says, “You singing ‘Chantilly Lace’ tonight?”

This place was just like Cheers for me. I felt like it was ‘home’. I spent more time in this bar during college than I did in class. It was nice coming back and seeing the old faces and watching the older crowd dance and mingle with each other.
The Captain Morgan & Coke that Benny the bartender makes is still the best one I have ever had. It’s been well over two years that I have ‘hung out’ there.

I wish you all could come hang out one night at the Almond Tree.

Lets just wait until my back gets better though…I would hate not to be able to sing and show you my awesome ‘electric slide’ move I have down.