went online to see if i could find a video from 2005. thought it might be on my vimeo or my youtube. not there. i even checked tyler’s youtube. nope.
maybe it was here.
i had to read through a few posts.
THANK YOU GOD i am not that person anymore. the anxiety parts of my life are manageable. the toxin has been purged. i am so much happier.
it’s just so strange so many of those years, i saw it…i even wrote about it. why didn’t i save myself?
i will NEVER be that scared again. ever.
4 responses to “oh thank god!”
fuck yeah! honestly to be able to get anxiety that is so out of control that it makes you sick to a manageable level is a serious feat. go you!
It’s nice to see people grow. Keep it up.
SO funny that you say this…just this past Monday, I was telling one of my friends that I had gone through my blog. I can’t believe the person I was–so unhappy; using sarcasm and ugly wit. Of course, I still use sarcasm, but it’s no longer ugly. Can’t believe I stayed in that unhappy marriage for so long. My life has changed so very much.
It all feels like this weird fog I was in. Yes, it could have been the sheer volume of medication I was on to manage my anxiety, but I think so much of it was being so tired of doing it all alone. I was so ready to not have to do this all by myself anymore. I didn’t need anyone to do it for me, but could someone please just help me while I was doing it? Being a parent is rough, being a single parent to three girls was really hard.
Yes, he helped. He picked up, he dropped off, he went to meetings, he was at the games and coached the ones where the coach wasn’t there.
I thought it was enough at the time, but rereading just a few posts…dear god. How unhappy.
“date night” should never be just shooting someone’s wedding or driving around looking for a place to take pictures. turn off the computer and let’s get the fuck out of here.
i love my life so much now. it’s still hard, i’m still a single parent and I have to do this by myself still, but at least I know I can do it by myself. i may be a single parent, but i am not single.
He’s a great man who does so much for ME which builds me up to be strong for my kids. SUCH a difference.