rolling again…

Now that things have settled down a little bit in my world, I can catch everyone up.
On Thursday morning we sent Kara off to Virginia.  I didn’t have time to get too upset because on Friday morning I was let go from my job of two and half years.  It was a little shocking because I made it through the first round of lay offs and it looked as if I was actually getting more responsibilities.
I love the HR lady and I knew once we sat down it was going to be hard on her and to make it easier on her, I tried to be strong.  As she was talking to me, I sent a text to Lester to let him know what was going on. “What are you doing?”  The smart ass side of me wanted to say, “Putting in the code word to erase my computer and put the place on lock down.” But I could see she was trying to get through this as professionally as possible and joking wasn’t want she needed. “Just sending my boyfriend a text to let him know what happened.”    She worked her way through the whole exit and said, “If there is ANYTHING you need, please tell me.”  I couldn’t hold back, “A job.”  Poor woman, she held up pretty good.  I walked her to my computer and showed her all that would be needed to continue to track all that I have been doing since I started working there.
As soon as I left, I went and filed for unemployment, went to the courthouse to take care of some stuff that needed to be taken care of and went and filed out the paperwork to get an apartment.   It’s really difficult to get an apartment when you have no job…just saying.

I was waiting for the break down I was surly going to have, but it never came.   There was just too much to be done to be able to bounce back and there was no time to feel sorry, get sad, be angry.  Tuesday came around and I had my dentist appointment so it would have to wait until after that.  No, I was in too much pain to even think of anything other than, ‘Get me the fuck out of here!”  FOUR HOURS and I SHIT YOU NOT, 18 shots to numb my tooth and it NEVER took.   Tabitha came over after dropping Marina off at school and made me something to eat.  I fell asleep for an hour, woke up and sent Lester a text to tell him I couldn’t drive over.  After that, everything got a little foggy until I woke up at 5:30 am.
I checked my text messages to find that Lester was coming over but then realized I wasn’t awake and then sang me a little song.  I checked the text that I sent him trying to figure out why he was singing to me and apparently I said, “I hate those cock suckers!” None of which I remember sending.
Marina came in around 6am this morning to fill in the gaps…she said she came in around 9pm last night to let me know she was staying the night.  “Okay, come lay down” and I patted the bed.  This I do not remember either.
I slept for 13 straight hours and HOLY HELL did I have to pee when I woke up this morning!

It’s been a strange few days and I know I am going to be fine…or I keep telling myself that until it does get better.  I’ve already started packing up my house and gone through and decided what needs to be sold at a yard sale so I can put the rest of stuff in storage.  That is always the hardest part of my life, giving up my independence and heading into the next part of the unknown.

I’m strong and I know I won’t be here long.  Ya’ll ready to read the next book of my life?   because this isn’t just a new chapter, it’s a whole new book!