He's noticed…
Lester said he noticed that I am using his name more on Random and Odd.
I'm actually shocked he still reads this thing. Most of my readers just reply through facebook.
So yes, I am using his name more and more. It's because it's taken me awhile to get brave enough to mention him because of fear of things going to shit. To be honest, i'm still a little skittish. A little. Not too much.
This last weekend was an amazing weekend for both of us. A huge part of my family was in town for Kara's graduation and they had a chance to just hang out with him. Here is what I heard:
"I didn't think it was going to work out. He's been through a lot and…*insert frustrated sigh* he didn't deserve that shit. I'm just glad he has you now and you can show him what it is like to be really loved by a woman." – my mother
"I like him. I like him a lot. He loves you to death, and he's a good man in my book" -my brother
"I love the way he looks at you, Kristine. He really thinks the world of you. You two are good together." -Sister in law.
"Mother fucker can't pick music to save his damn life. Pat Boone? IS HE FUCKING WITH ME!? IS HE! ASHLEY, COME DANCE WITH ME!" -Kathy
"Please Tell Lester I love him and I am sorry for being an ass. You don't think he took me seriously do you?. I don't think i'm ever going to drink again." -Kathy after the Coronas wore off.
"I talked to him more in two hours than I did that jerk you were married to." -Dad last week.
"Look at your man, Kristine. Damn…good for him, GOOD FOR YOU LESTER!" -Tabitha
"What a good man. He's…you…oh Kristine, I just love him." -mom, again and again.
I kept looking over at him manning the grill on Saturday and he was shooting the shit with my ex husband, friends, family and so at ease. He caught me at one point and smiled over at me. He doesn't really get how much those small moments mean to me. I'm terrified to love someone as much as I love him…again.
He came up behind me at one point in the evening and hugged me and said, "I love you." I'm a sucker for those words, and I crave them. For once I didn't need to hear them though, he has shown me over and over again how much he loves me, adores and loves my family (by beating my mother at cribbage). He was and continues to be my strength, sounding board, my best friend.
This post will probably be the end of our relationship because he hates any attention pointed at him, but he notices every single thing and I don't want him to think that for a single moment that I take him for granted and all the small things he does to show me he cares about me. I do though, I do sometimes take it for granted, but I am lucky enough to have another friend that points out when I am being stupid and sets me straight, (thank you Tabitha)
I know, he's nothing like DB and THANK GOD he's not. There are fears there and he has them too. We just have to look at OUR time together for what it is, OUR relationship and not judge each others actions on what other people did to us. He has his story and I have mine.
Tonight I took his daughter out for a run and she said, "If, GOD FORBID, anything happened between you and Dad and you weren't together, I would want you still in my life." I told her, "He better not break up with me again. I will kill him." She laughed and said, "I'll kill him first if he does."
It feels good to love and be loved.