A couple of months ago I was paroosing the thift store when I found a pair of white pants. As a rule, I don’t wear white pants. Nothing good comes from wearing white pants. If you’re a woman and you wear white pants the odds of you starting your period increase by 78%. This includes women that have already gone through menopause or had their whole internal baby making organs removed.
There is something alluring about a pair of white pants. They make you look tanner than you are, unless you’re an albino, and in which case you’re screwed. They are also, despite contrary belief, very slimming.
When I pulled the white pants out, Kara looked at me like I was one purchase away from retarded.
“What do you think?” The look on her face should have been clue enough that the white pants should be put back on the hanger to await another 80’s throwback child to buy.
I bought them.
All the way back to house I was thinking about all the places I would wear my new, white pants. I could see a trip to the beach in the future. The pants paired with a big sweater and pair of flip flops.
Yes, the grand plans I had for the white pants. Maybe I could pair it with the Vegas shirt and go out on the town. Nice pair of sling backs and there would be no stopping me.
I raced upstairs and slid the pants up only to find that I could get them up, zip them up, button them up…but the Costco size muffin top would prohibit about 9 of the 10 ways I could wear these pants.
“Fuck!” I took them off and decided they would be my summer of 2011 goal. If I could lose some more weight we would still be able to make our trip to the beach! I even went a step further and decided these white pants paired with a bikini top, gauzy blouse, floppy hat and oversized glasses would be the ultimate goal. Game on, White Pants!
Every time I slide open my closet, there they were…staring at me. Sitting next to the dress I bought a couple years ago.
Tonight I decided rather than looking like a scrub for work tomorrow I would do something other women have been doing for years, plan out my wardrobe.
The White Pants waved a polite hello and I nodded back. Oh what the hell, I was feeling a bit self deprecating and what would a little humiliation hurt?
I grabbed the White Pants and as I remembered the legs felt fine going up, the zipper went up and the button cinched just fine. I walked to the mirror and to my utter disbelief; NO MUFFIN TOP! Not even a small Safeway sized muffin top!
Shea walked in as I was standing there with my jaw stretched all the way to the floor.
“NOOOOO!” I whined.
She looked at me confused. Then and there I did something I never thought I would be able to do with a pair of skinny jeans…I slid them off my hips without unbuttoning them.
I still have a hard time seeing the weight loss. I know I am losing because my clothes are mostly baggy and I keep buying extra large only to get home and try it on and it looks like I am wearing something from Mrs. Roper’s dresser.
The white pants that never got a chance to make it to the beach are now in a construction sized bag I have waiting to be taken to the goodwill store.
Kara will be so happy.
13 responses to “On a lighter note…”
Woot! So happy for you. Five years ago I lost about 50 pounds and I just really didn’t see it when I looked in the mirror. I gained it all back and then started looking at pictures of myself from that time and realized I HAD looked good (and trim). So here I go again, trying to get back the healthy self I need to be.
Get it girl :-) you look great we can all see it. Hard work pays off. I have bout 15 more to go….so now I’m doing 2 days a few times a week to get that extra cardio that I don’t get at school.
You can be proud of yourself. Allow yourself that, you deserve it. Just think, a year ago you probably wouldn’t have been able to do what you did this Mothers day. Who would think a little weight loss could be so life changing. I love you!!! yo sista :)
I haven’t commented in what seems like forever, but I just had to say that I can definitely see the positive life changes, physically and mentally! There’s another pair of white pants out there somewhere, just waiting to be worn on a beach this summer!
Congrats, Kristine! Even after keeping the 80lbs I lost for over a year now I still find myself gravitating to the “plus size” section of a department store. I know exactly how you feel. Heart you!
Thanks everyone!
I’m feeling really good. I’m proud of myself…which I don’t get to say too often, but I have SO MUCH FARTHER TO GO. The scale is always my biggest enemy.
That guy I hang out with (he called me his girlfriend the other day and TWO kittens were strangled by pythons!) he has a way of tracking the weight loss. My ass. LOL. I can’t see it, nor do I grab it like he does…so I don’t see a change.
Well you already know the feelings I have for you and all you are making happen! Bought my first white pair of pants in forever this past Saturday and I love them….except theyre a lil big. ALL those hikes mamacita! Love you, keep up the awesome work
You are looking great (not that you didn’t) and that smile is just a little bigger these days! I am trying to loose all this weight I have gained living on this &%#^&*$ east coast(You are very much my inspiration these days!). almost twenty down (five of which I just lost in the past 36 hours with a stomach virus)now only abut 60-70 to go. Yikes!
Keep having fun!!!
Tabitha…of course you bought white pants! LOL!
For those of you reading the comments too. Tabitha and I keep accidentally wearing the same or ‘alike’ outfits. First time we noticed was the red jackets. Then over the last few months we have been catching ourselves in similar clothes. The funniest one was Mother’s day and I came home and I took off my sweater only to wearing EXACTLY what she was wearing. Our Trail Runner shirts and black yoga pants. We were cracking up on that one for a long time.
justme: Yes, my smile has gotten a lot bigger. I am really happy in my life right now. There are things I wish were different, but I have a lot of people that love me and are proud. AND CONGRATS TO YOU! I have 40 more to go and I will keep posting (make sure you have me on facebook! i post more there. Also, my hikingwiththeex.blogspot.com has a lot of my misadventures!!
We all wish some things in our lives are different haha! And thank you I am trying hard to get this fat off! I can not believe how much I have gained living here! My friends would not recognize me lol.
I do have you on facebook. I just don’t go on that account very often (not my real one lol) I should send you a link to my other one! I think I have three, fake name, maiden name, and married name. I will have to go check out the hiking with the ex blog. Keep it up! You are doing great! I very much admire you and everything you have done!
Damn you have that many!? I have one I can’t even keep up with! :)
I have this blog, my hiking with the ex blog, twitter (which I don’t use too often), and the Dear Whats your face blog (used from my phone for fun)
Keep it up girl! It’s a lonnnng road to get to where I want to be and then even longer to keep it maintained.
LOL I know. I had the fake one for online to connect to my old blog I had but stopped using it. and then I had the one with my married name but a lot of people didn’t know my married name (people from childhood/high school) so I put one up for my maiden name lol. Thats the one I use the most but I have a lot of friend that play games and it is getting clogged with it so I am thinking of sending everyone that doesn’t like the games to my married one lol and just use the other one for games only and dumping the fake on all together. (wow that was a mouth full haha)
Yes I have a very long way to go! this is the first time in my life I have ever had more than twenty or so pounds to loose to get back to about 130-135! I have more motivation to get close to where I want to be in a year lol. The boyfriend and I decided after 10 years to finally make it legal. Ya know, what one does AFTER they are pretty much done raising the kids LOL. (good excuse for a holiday someplace far away and warm haha)
I know we can both get there!!!
It has been a long time since I have been here and so happy to see you happy. Your girls are beautiful and it looks like life is good.
Way to go.