Just spent the last hour reorganizing all of my bills and paperwork I need to hold on to.
There are things I wish I could toss, but I know the minute I do, I will need it.
Do I really need to hold on to my marriage certificate? I think not.
I’ve come so far in the last few months. Let go of so many things I feel were holding me back. I’ve pushed myself further into the deep healing I have needed. Making the mistake of not dealing with the emotions I needed to deal with and just saying, “I’m alright” slowed my healing process down.
I had a strange conversation with the girls last night when we were talking about Kara’s graduation, which brought up Tyler’s graduation. Thinking back to that day instantly pissed me off again. Those raw emotions of the pain I went through tend to rear their ugly head when I least expect it. Normally I can just brush it off, but trying to remember which time and what instance of what caused that pain brought me back.
It’s times like that, I say, “Never again will I allow someone to treat me with such complete disregard.”
My life now is better, but the wall that I have because of it sucks. I can honestly love with my whole heart and receive that love right back, but there are those moments that I still question things. That is something I did before, but for ‘the love of the kids’, I pushed it away.
Now I have file folders full of my legal part of my life. If file folders could talk they would say, “NEVER AGAIN, Kristine. NEVER AGAIN.”
I hear ya.
7 responses to “Everybody Cut Looooose.”
well as usual we are in mutual realms. I have been forced as of lateto deal with the fact that I am hurt. I know I am. I dont need the reminder and the thought of feeling scares the shit out of me. Probably because I still FEEL. and still LOVEand still wish like hell I didnt. I wish he didnt exist. BUT he does and some of my life was amazing with him and that part hurts like it was yesterday. I think the trail is now my best souce of finding the freedom to push through and PAST the pain. We shall see…….hoping the stay away continues Its just toooooo damn painful with and without the man that I love.
I hear ya!
Its so odd for me because I’m happier now, it’s the fact that I out up with so much for so long. For what? The kids? I’m glad for the choices I made for them at the time. I couldn’t just walk away. I just see now that all of them would be fine (minus the bs they deal with now).
Everything for a reason I guess. I just wish I had those years back. I wish I would have seen what it was slowly doing to me. I wish I would have listened to myself and not all the talkity talk talk, convincing me I was wrong and “that’s not how ir is
But oh well. I’m so happy now.
Off to go cuddle with my man. :)
See you Saturday!
Those are the kinds of things you do need to keep, just if the IRS audits for a while back and says ‘why did you submit joint if you were never married?’ (yea, idiots)
cuddle with your man?????????????????????????
Yes. My man.
We decided for our sanity to not be friends on facebook! LOL. So no more marathon messing with Mary sessions ;)
We get along better when he can’t read my shit and think EVERYTHING is about him :)
He has even stopped reading R&O! yay!
Every now and again we play around on mutual friend’s walls like his sister in law or her friend, Janine.
It’s rare though.
Keep the marriage license. The state of FL requires people to show proof of all names changes now just to renew a drivers license!!! That means I need both marriage certificates and the 1 divorce decree.