Everybody Cut Looooose.

God, I love this woman! She cracks me up!, originally uploaded by Suddenly Single.

Just spent the last hour reorganizing all of my bills and paperwork I need to hold on to.
There are things I wish I could toss, but I know the minute I do, I will need it.
Do I really need to hold on to my marriage certificate? I think not.
I’ve come so far in the last few months. Let go of so many things I feel were holding me back. I’ve pushed myself further into the deep healing I have needed. Making the mistake of not dealing with the emotions I needed to deal with and just saying, “I’m alright” slowed my healing process down.
I had a strange conversation with the girls last night when we were talking about Kara’s graduation, which brought up Tyler’s graduation. Thinking back to that day instantly pissed me off again. Those raw emotions of the pain I went through tend to rear their ugly head when I least expect it. Normally I can just brush it off, but trying to remember which time and what instance of what caused that pain brought me back.
It’s times like that, I say, “Never again will I allow someone to treat me with such complete disregard.”
My life now is better, but the wall that I have because of it sucks. I can honestly love with my whole heart and receive that love right back, but there are those moments that I still question things. That is something I did before, but for ‘the love of the kids’, I pushed it away.

Now I have file folders full of my legal part of my life. If file folders could talk they would say, “NEVER AGAIN, Kristine. NEVER AGAIN.”

I hear ya.