I am in my new place! It’s a beautiful two story home with no ghosts attached to it. No tears, all laughter!
Last week, Lester’s daughter Ashley helped move nearly ALL the big furniture in. For a little thing, that girl can move some stuff and inspire others around her to get shit done.
On the other days, I had Lester and Kara’s boyfriend, Patrick moving in the boxes.
This weekend a few skydiving friends came and moved the remaining stuff out. The garage was packed full of stuff I didn’t need anymore and was having hauled off.
This weekend we spent in the new house, slowly going through and unpacking the essentials.
At one point this weekend I had one of those awesome and amazing moments where I looked around and said, “this is where I live now…and I finally feel right about it!”
I stood there looking over the landing from the second floor down at the living room where my kids were watching TV and laughing at each other. I turned around and saw my daughter in her room unpacking and making her space her own. In my room, my boyfriend napped sideways across the bed. This is my life now, and it is so beyond good that I wonder what I did right to deserve such happiness after letting go of something that I loved so much.
Makes me wonder if I loved it or I just wanted to hold on to it because I didn’t want to fail. Probably a little of both. Just another lesson that I will take with me into the future.
For as much stuff that I had, most of it is already unpacked. The silverware was FINALLY located last night!
4 responses to “Happier than happy…is that possible?”
hey kristine,
i used to read your blog years ago. something brought me back to it today, and i’m so glad!
to be honest the reason i stopped reading was because i was trying to be a more positive person, and um, well, there was just a whole bunch of sadness in what you wrote.
i’m so glad i found your blog again, and after perusing your blog for the past hour or so i’m so happy for you. your blog now reeks of joy. i love it.
Kristine,
I am in awe of you. I am stuck in this….place…..and I hate it so much. I’m so lost and have no idea of the next step. I like the line you wrote: “Makes me wonder if I loved it or I just wanted to hold on to it because I didn’t want to fail.” It has me wondering as well.
I am so glad you are happy. It gives me hope and right now, I need all the hope I can get.
Yay for happiness!
Cor…I understand. I didn’t even know how bad it was, I thought I was doing the best I could to get through what I thought was what my life was just going to be. I had made my bed and instead of saying, “Fuck you, Douchebag…I deserve better than following you around to make sure you don’t cheat on me!” I found the good things. He was great with my kids, he made me laugh, he cared for me.
Now, I see…and I think it took the 7 or 900 years we were together to be able to really see what my life COULD be. I am VERY happy now.
Casey…rip off the bandaide and move forward. I call where you’re at ‘the waiting room’…and nothing is worse than waiting for someone to do something…or waiting for something to happen…before you get to move forward.
Feel free to email me at randomandodd@gmail.com if you wanna talk. We can get you through this!!
Glad that you are happy there . .