I woke up this morning thinking about Grandma. She use to love her coffee. A pot was always either sitting there or she was brewing up some. I wonder how many cans of Yuban that woman went through?
The thought occurred to me that she never really had a good cup of coffee. Never had a cup of Peets or Starbucks.
My mom and I use to wish we could have one more day with my grandpa. We would talk about the things we would do. One night I had a dream about just that happening and I had to call my mother the next morning and tell her all that had happened. Grandpa was pissed that we took him away from Heaven for the day. He was happy where he was and here we are being all selfish wanting him to do earthly things with us to make ourselves feel better. Needless to say, he was more of a pain in the ass in my dream that he was in real life…and that is saying a lot.
My mother and I never played the ‘what if’ game again.
Today I would like to with my grandma.
If I had one more day with my grandma I would take her for a world wind tour of coffee drinking. She would enjoy that. Maybe later that night I would get her a glass of wine that didn’t come out of a big gallon jug. I would ask her a million questions about all the things I had forgot to ask her when I should have been paying attention.
I would ask about her first true love, what her favorite smell was, had she ever traveled anywhere outside of California.
As the night came to an end I would sit in my chair next to her rocker as we watched television and I wouldn’t roll my eyes when she talked to the people on tv.
I wonder what it is that my children will say after I have been gone for 16 years? Will some new camera be made that they will say, “God, remember when mom had to shoot with that digital crap? I wish she could see this!” or will they say, “I wish mom could have seen THIS.” as they look out on a picturesque landscape?
My friend, Ruka made a good point when she said that they might remember how much I enjoyed things that I did get to see and do.
I guess it’s time to get to seeing and doing things. You know…for my kids and all.
April 5, 2009 — Rode a bike for the first time in 9 years.
9 responses to “Three months in…”
When I get all enthusiastic, or am bowled over with disbelief, I will talk to the people on tv. The Boy feels it’s his duty to remind me that they really can’t hear me, but there is something really satisfying about telling them what you think yourself.
And woo for the bike riding! :)
I know what you mean. I miss my grandmother so much. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about how I will never see her again. She was such joy and fun to be with.
I don’t have too many memories of my grandmother as she died when I was 5. My mother has been gone for a bit more than three years. I’m not sure if they were here that I’d be able to ask them all the things I want to ask them anyway so it’s probably best they stay where ever it is they are. I miss them every single day though.
Going through my mother’s belongings after just losing her two weeks ago, I’m learning things about her I never knew. Rather than regret what I didn’t know, I rejoice in the time I spent with her and the things we DID talk about. She knew I loved her and that’s really all that matters in the end.
And Yay! for you for getting on that bicycle!
Awesome!!
R&O on a bike. Is this a reaction to the daughter in the car?
i wish my grama could be here to meet timmy and baby on the way.
When my gma was in the hospital, and not eating, I went to Starbucks and got her a latte. She sipped it from the straw, and she LOVED it.
Great post.
Hey, I read something yesterday. Said to sit down and write your obituary. What 3 things do you want people to say you really loved? Now, go out and DO those things!