Ambivalence

I knew this was my word for the day, but I had other things I had to do.

Today is Dans, my ex-husband, birthday.

Last night I couldn’t sleep to save my life. I had thoughts going through my head that made absolutely NO SENSE what so ever.  I had taken a Xanax earlier. Then took another one later.  Around 4 am I decided to call in the big boys.  I finally fell asleep and I don’t know HOW in heaven I got up to get the girls ready for school and actually managed to down two cups of coffee.  Then out of nowhere my body decided to shut down and I fell into a deep sleep.
Dan showed up around 11 am to try to convince me to take him to lunch for his birthday.  I remember it was the most painful conversation I have ever had.
“noooooooooooooooo. letmesleep.”
He kept chanting, “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” in his super annoying ‘it’s my birthday’ voice.
I was face down in the bed and I couldn’t even lift my head or open my eyes.

I woke up at 1:30 pm in a panic. “WHO? WHAT? WHAT’S MY NAME?”

Somehow, by the grace of God, I got Kara to her orthodontist appointment and pull together a dinner and birthday party.

You can tell he was happy. He had lasagna, his favorite German chocolate cake and presents.  He stuck around to watch baseball with Shaun and play with the girls before they went to bed.

All in all a pretty good day (minus the waking up in a puddle of slobber)
As for the word ‘ambivalence’.  I’m actually kinda wishy-washy about it anyway.