Because I said so…it just doesn’t fly anymore.

A couple of years ago Shaun’s Dad had a heart attack. He recovered, but it took some time. During his recovery, we heard, “Your father is recovering from a heart attack so we won’t be able to (insert anything here)”
Then we sort of used it to explain his grumpiness; “He’s recovering from a heart attack.”
And then after a good year of hearing and saying it, it became the family joke, “Ohh, that’s right…He’s recovering from a heart attack.”
It had almost come to the point that we almost had a t-shirt made for him. In fact, since he is STILL ‘recovering’ from the heart attack, it might make for a good Christmas gift.

Today, I realized that I have termed my own key phrase. “Because, I’m a grandma.”

Ariana came over today and I had to pick her up because her mommy, Jen, had a car that decided it was going to overheat on the way over. I can’t understand why, it was only a 113 degrees here today.
On the way to her rescue I had to make a pit stop at the dollar store. I told anyone within ear shot that I was going to pick up my grand baby. I also would add, “Actually I am a grandma of TWO babies. One just barely a week old. Yep, that’s me…I’m a grandma.”
I’m sure people thought I was crazy. If you actually pulled the dates together I would have had to be around 13 when I had my first kid. Damned the dates and the technicalities, I AM A GRANDMA.

As I hit the freeway with grand baby in the back seat, some a-hole decided to cut me off. I have never understood the ‘baby on board’ signs people have in the car windows. I mean, I get it…there is a baby in the car…good for you for being able to reproduce.
No, that is not the reason they have those signs. It’s a beacon that screams: I HAVE A BABY IN THE CAR SO I AM A NERVOUS WRECK AND IF YOU HIT ME OR THINK ABOUT DRIVING LIKE AN IDIOT WITHIN A MILE OF ME, I WILL PULL YOU OUT OF THE CAR AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A TEETHING RING!

I then decided that a “Grandma with anxiety attacks WITH baby on board” signs might be a good financial endeavor. With these signs you also get 30 big, red reflectors to tack all the way around your car making sure that you are sure that EVERYONE can see you day or night. In the package you would also get a license plate cover that read, “Don’t mess me…because I am a grandma!”

What do you think?