Dad Gone Mad Questions
If an enraged chimp escaped from its cage and began violently attacking you, would you protect your face or your genitals (both is not an acceptable answer)?
I’m pretty sure it would be my face.
Have you ever blamed your own fart sound or odor on someone else (e.g., your dog, your child)?
On a daily basis. Why have a dog or children if you couldn’t use them for such things?
If you wanted to get shit-face drunk, what beverage would you drink?
Vicoden with a Jack Daniels & Coke chaser. (have I told you lately that I love you sister?)
Have you ever been photographed or videotaped naked? If so, what were the circumstances?
Now this is one of those times that you wished my family and boyfriend didn’t read my blog because I got some good stories here!
To which magazines do you subscribe?
Girl Cosmo and Seventeen. My God, what happened to the days of Sports illustrated and Guns & Ammo?
In the parlance of the bathroom, are you a folder or a crumpler?
Whoa, that took me about 15 times to figure out what that the question was asking! I’m a crumpler.
What is your favorite slang term for testicles?
Kiwis!
If you could be a contestant on a reality TV series, which would it be? Why?
Extreme Home Makeover. Would someone PLEASE get me on that show! I want to go to Hawaii for a week and come home to heaven. I’m leaving for Disneyland for 4 days and GOD ONLY KNOWS what this house will look like when I get home.
(open note to Mom: I FINALLY understand that whole ‘I want to come home to a clean house’ thing you would bitch about)
Have you ever gotten a foreign object stuck in one of your orifices?
I got a bead stuck in my ear. I swallowed a marble. I couldn’t find the string once.
What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten?
There is this truck stop restaurant between Mt. Shasta and Redding, California. I don’t know if it was me or someone else that ordered it, but the image has stuck in my head for years and I can’t shake it. Pancakes with the longest, most nastiest hair weaved through it.
In the bathroom is a clawfoot tub with a mannequin wearing a wedding dress…missing an arm. Freaky ass Deliverance shit going on in that town!!
Go visit, “Dad Gone Mad” and tell him I sent you!