Random and Odd

In all fairness…

3 March, 2005 /

I bitch about the girls, but tonight after reading KC’s post on the joys of being a mother to a boy, I HAD to post the bitchy sides of “Da Boy”

KC’s reasons why, and then my rebuttals.

  • No hormone (mood swings)
  • boys are cheaper
  • a tube of Clearisil and some gel should do it
  • “Boys also don’t need a closet stuffed full of clothes”

You want a mood swing, talk to a 14 year old boy. One minute he’s your best friend and talking to you like he’s hyped up on peeps and Jolt cola. There isn’t anything he forgot to tell you about everything that happened at school. The next conversation (ranging from 25 minutes to 4 hours later) he can’t remember your name, how he got home from school or why you have the gall to talk to him.
Don’t even dare roam away from him Target to go find some water because if he can’t find you RIGHT THEN AND THERE, he’s a pissed off little shit head for the next 3 hours.

Boy’s are cheaper. HAHAHAHAHAHA this is the best one so far!
Da Boy gets home from school at 2 something. I guarantee all the way home he is thinking of 13 different ways he’s going to rape the fridge. He eats EVERYTHING. I’m afraid to leave left overs in the fridge for more than a couple of days because a week or two later you’ll see da boy eating steak with a side of fuzzy macaroni and cheese. He doesn’t care. He will eat everything and then there is NOTHING left in the house.
In fact I was reading KC’s blog and I told him, “OH, I’m going to tell her about the food that you can consume!” he said….”It’s not my fault, I’m a growing boy” AS HE SHOVELING FOOD IN HIS MOUTH AT 9:30 PM!

Tube of Clearisil? VATS OF THE SHIT. Not just Clearisil, EVERY brand on the market because teenage boy pimples have evolved and Clearisil just doesn’t cut it anymore!
Do you have any idea how much money those tubes of Clearisil are? How about the astringent? How about the cotton balls that litter my bathroom floor? The face strips? The moisturizer?
and the pages and pages of acne web sites I read that tell me not to let him use this shit because I think I read, “His acne will get worse, causing scaring and he will never get a girl to touch his weenie if his face is all jacked up.”
The boy’s whole sex life is relying on me being able to find the perfect combination of cleaners, toners and Playboy magazines. (I had no idea those pimples come from pent up sexual stuff)

AND that is a whole other subject I’m not ready to talk about. WHAT THE HELL HE’S DOING IN THE BATHROOM FOR A SOLID HOUR.

Clothes & Video games. He tells me today, in his sweetest boy voice, that he needs a new sweatshirt (preferably Etnies — he’s got good taste now that he lives with me) because he wears the one he has every day and it’s getting a bit tore up.
Those sweatshirts are like 50 bucks a pop! AT THE CHEAPEST!
Pants, Shirts, and those fucking video games.

You got me on the mommy’s boy though, KC. I can only hope that my girls love me (and Tyler and Marina too) as much as my brothers (and my sister and I) love my mom.

Her boys are Mommies boys. Kathy and I are her little girls. It doesn’t matter that we are all grown up, we are just little kids to her.