I am without words. Yeah, right.

During the day I have CNN or Headline news on at all times.
The past 24 hours have been horrible and I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it.
This community we have through blogging allows us to reach into each others worlds and get to know people we wouldn’t have the opportunity to otherwise.
I don’t know personally anyone that was effected, but it doesn’t mean that thousands are in pain because of what happened. As more information pour in and I am flooded with images of the gathering students looking around, lost, in disbelief and broken hearted; I’m without words.

My first thought goes to the parents of the children that died. How do you go on after this? You have spent so many years keeping your child safe. You watched as your child struggled through the years of elementary school, middle school and you encouraged them to stick it through high school so they can get into a good college. You think they are safe now, that you had protected them well enough to be able to send them off into the world. How many times have those parents cried, “WHY?!” over and over and over again?

Next I think of the victims. The students had finally began to form their own lives. They had made friends that would have been a part of their future. They had blogs, MySpace pages, email, and cell phones. Now all silenced.

What about the friends of the victims? They are left with this void. They have their phone numbers of the dead programed in their phones. They had plans for the weekend. I can’t even imagine losing a friend like this!

I can’t wrap my mind around it. I can’t even express my sadness for EVERYONE that has been hurt by this.

As they talk about the mindset of the killer, I’m thinking about a serious incident that my daughter, Kara, has been dealing with at the middle school she is attending.
There is a boy that goes to school with her and is in a majority of her classes. I have talked to so many kids from the school he attends and they all have been verbally abused by this kid. My daughter wasn’t his only target.
I went in and talked to the vice principal about the issues she was having with him. This kid had actually SLAPPED her and called her a bitch.
From all the things I have heard about this kid; he is teased because he thinks he’s a girl. He calls girls c**ts. He told one of my daughter’s friends, “I’m going to come to your house and murder you!”, he threatens people on a daily basis and is very ’emo’.
One of the boys that knows him said to me, “I’m just nice to him so when he comes to school with a gun someday, he might remember I was nice to him and won’t kill me.”

I told the vice principal all of this and what the boy said and he said, “Now don’t get ahead of yourself.” When Kara told him she was afraid of this kid growing up to be a kid that brings a gun to school and killing people, he told her to not be so dramatic.

Even through the threats and the physical abuse he got a ‘behavior slip’. Now, just to put into perspective what a ‘behavior slip’ is…my daughter got one for chewing gum.

It’s strange to be in a situation that I am in with this kid. I’ve talked to the vice principal, the principal, the teachers and other parents…and nothing has been resolved. He continues to tease and taunt my daughter.

I told the vice principal in a conversation, “I would hope that if my daughter and step daughter were overheard saying, “i know where you live and I am going to murder you!” to each other by another student and came to you with that information, that you would investigate it. You would realize that the kid that said it was teasing and talking to her step-sister, but out of ZERO TOLERANCE you would suspend the kid that said it, even knowing it was ONLY a joke…TO SET AN EXAMPLE!”

Nothing. I just now hope that they make it through the rest of the year and pray he doesn’t go to high school with her next year. That sucks. This kid…will be a kid that does something like what happened yesterday.
He’s not being held accountable for his actions by the school, his parents or anyone.