I DID IT!

There is a reason for my over re-acting to the camera purchase.

I don’t do stuff like this. The craziest thing i’ve ever done was buy tickets to Las Vegas for The Fonz, Sister and myself about 6 years ago. I was going to blow me some cash in Vegas!
I didn’t of course because someone pulled the remaining money out of my account and I couldn’t even gamble or buy my dinner. When I got home the money was back in the account. The money I didn’t spend in Vegas was spent on computers, wood working tools and clothes. (not what I would have bought with my money)
The next crazy thing I did was buy my dive gear. This was about 10 years ago. It wasn’t my idea, but in retrospect there was nothing I wanted more than my scuba gear so I have no regrets.

I’ve gotten things in my life. A van (the first one) a computer (about a million years ago) a trip to Maui.

I am blessed for the things I do have. I just really don’t know how to buy something for myself and just enjoy it without fear of someone saying, “Well, if you had not bought THAT then you would have money right now!”
Or someone making me feel guilty for buying something that is just for me.

I was driving home and all I could think about was someone saying to me, “You are so stupid for buying that.” or the fear that I was going to have to hide it from people so they wouldn’t get mad at me.

When I got my car when I was 20 and pregnant we had to say my mom and dad bought it for me because DA’s exgirlfriend (who had his son–and we will just call her “freak of fucking nature” for now on) would have freaked out and never let us live in peace. I was never allowed to enjoy anything we bought because it was ‘rubbing it in’.
I had to hide the fact that I bought a house for TWO YEARS because she would have freaked out.

I know now she’s just a freak of fucking nature and I shouldn’t have let what she thought dictate my life. But I was young…and I am still feeling uneasy about sharing the fact that I bought something so nice for ME.

Anyone have any ‘fucking crazy’ purchases or horror stories about not being able to tell anyone?