A letter from the children,

Hello Internet,

I’m sad to inform you that my mother’s brain exploded today.  We saw it coming on yesterday when all five of us were sick.  Some of us coughing and sneezing. Some of us had sore throats.  A couple were barfing.

After her third trip to the store to pick up another bag of cough drops because we didn’t like the menthol kind and the cherry flavored ones tasted gross, we decided to hide her brain.  The most logical place to hide it would be somewhere in the kitchen — the room she likes to avoid unless it involves getting coffee.

All night long she did okay without her brain. She even managed to wash all her bedding and pillows because she let the child that was most sick lay in her bed all day and watch television in between mad dashes to the bathroom to barf.

Today a few of the remaining sick children went  back to school, but a few stayed home.  We thought she would be okay without her brain for a few more days.  I mean, come on…it’s not like she uses it.  We thought it would be for the best..to give her some time not to think about all the craziness that is going on.

I’m not really TOO certain what happened, but we know she found her brain in between a moldy bowl of Lucky Charms and a bacon greased skillet.  When she came to and went back into her ‘sick free’ room that she had just washed ALL the sheets and pillows in hot water and Tide with Febreeze she found what we like to call a “OH HELL NO.” situation.  A SICK CHILD IN HER CLEAN BED!
Someone said she turned around and her eyes were bleeding.  She made her way to the living room to find a blunt object to beat the child that was resting in the ‘sick free’ zone when she saw the OTHER child EATING IN THE LIVING ROOM!

The people that are taking us to live with them said it was tragic.

She managed to beat herself into a coma with a Costco size jug of Lysol Wipes.

Love,
The Children of Random and Odd