Immaculate Parallel Parking

It would take a miracle for me to be able to parallel park. I would rather eat sour cream than even attempt to parallel park.

Back when I had my drivers test, they didn’t require you to do it.  Probably because I lived in a town with 1 stop sign and not a light to be found.  The closest thing to parallel parking was pulling over on the side of the road to grab your gun out of your rack to get a deer that was stupid enough to cross the road in front of my father and he wasn’t fast enough to run over it.

I waited until I was almost 18 before I went to take my drivers test. I had been driving since I was 13, but the DMV doesn’t care that your training came from ‘back roads to bon fires’.  In Shingletown you don’t need a drivers licences as long as you know the back roads. You could get anywhere you wanted in my town by just winding around the red dirt roads.  Noooo parallel parking needed, just hit the gas and launch your car up on a hill and you’re clear.

I tried to parallel park once when I was living in Redding.  I had my sister with me and we were going to go to this cute little shop ‘downtown’.  Kathy located a spot to park between two cars.
I pulled up fairly close, backed up, pulled up a bit, backed up.  Got out of the car and went to the passenger side and told her to do it.

I can do lots of cool things, but parking sideways isn’t one of them.