in with the old?

I cleaned my room yesterday and I found about 13000000 cds that I didn’t have the heart to toss. I went through all of them and each reminded me a of a phase I went through that I didn’t want to let go of. I didn’t really want to listen to them, but didn’t want to discard them either.

I have about 4 catagories of music.

1. What was I thinking buying country music category.
2. I swear I am the only person who would buy this CD category
3. Grunge was SO cool in the 90’s category.
4. My life is changing and this music will always remind me of that time category.

I have about 15 country CD’s that have maybe ONE song on there that I like. I clearly bought these CDs before I found Napster. I could bear to listen to a few of them before I moved on to the next category.

From the looks of my CD collection I kept, you would think I’m the strangest person in the world. Dr. Hook to The Ramones to Erykah Badu. You know how your mother always said to have clean underwear on in case you get in accident? This is sort of how I feel about this category. I could NEVER have any of these CDs in my car because what would happen if I got in accident and all my CDs were scattered all over the street for the world to see?

“Dear Lord, What a horrible accident! Look at all this woman’s music is all over the place…DR HOOK? who listens to DR.HOOK? ….omg, is that a a Glenn Campbell CD over there? How old could she have been? Well, she has an R.E.M cd and a Buffalo Tom CD. HOLY CRAP…why in the world would anyone put a Michael Jackson CD in the slot next to the Hanson CD???”

BMG must have loved me during the early 90’s because every Smashing Pumpkins, REM, Stone Temple Pilots & Nirvana exclusive CDs they featured that month I had to own.

The last category is the hardest for me to keep, because it means that if I listen to it, I am instantly transported to a part in my life that is bitter sweet.
Just for shits and giggles, I put in the Sheryl Crow CD that many years ago I listened to over and over when I was getting ready to step out of my married life and into the world of the unknown. I listened to the song that became my mantra of unhappiness. “Home”.

I woke up this morning
Now I understand
What it means to give your life
To just one man
Afraid of feeling nothing
No bees or butterflies
My head is full of voices
And my house is full of lies
I listened the whole song and it’s so bizarre how I could feel my heart breaking in my chest because of the pain of the words and how it transported me back to that turmoil I experienced in my first marriage. I was lost in a world I had created and didn’t know how to fix.

I’m still going through a lot of the music I downloaded onto CD’s and I am realizing that there is a whole lot of music in this collection that needs to be tossed out and replaced with new music to reflect the new life I am creating.

I don’t care what ANYONE says though, i’m keeping Dr. Hooks Greatest Hits.